Beneath Our Faults

"Well, little Daisy, us boys don't have g-spots. But I would be more than happy to help you find yours after I read this article and become very educated on the subject." Psh, that boy probably knew how to give an orgasm when he got pulled out of the womb. Shoot, I almost had an orgasm just rubbing against him.

"I’m not even going to answer that,” I said, walking away from him.

My feet squeaked down the long corridor of the hall.. The door to two eleven was open but I didn't know whether to knock or not. My mom never told me if Tessa knew that I was coming.

"Come in," a tiny voice called out from inside. My body was tense, moving into the room and maneuvering around the long, white curtain that was blocking our view from one another.

"Hi," I said, in a hoarse whisper. The white, stuffy room was empty of any other visitors. Tessa was seated upright in a small bed, watching the flat screen TV on the wall. IVs were hooked up to each arm and three different machines stood next to her, beeping in sync with one another.

Easing myself into a chair next to her bed, I looked over at my friend, taking in how different she looked from the last time I saw her. The once cheery face was now sunken in, making her look almost sick. She was skinnier than I remembered, nearly underweight. A large, white bandage was wrapped around her wrist, covering the damage.

"What happened?" I asked, getting straight to the point.

She looked away from the TV at me. "I tried to kill myself," she replied, her voice devoid of any emotion. "Obviously."

"I know that," I swallowed. "But why?" The back of my throat burned waiting on her to tell me I was the reason.

"I just couldn't deal with it anymore." Her IV covered arm raised up to rub her temples. "It just became too much for me to handle."

"You couldn't deal with what anymore?" I repeated. "I didn't want to deal with it, either, but you can't just off yourself because you can't deal with real life anymore. That's not how it works."

She folded her arms around her chest, rolling her eyes. "Whatever.”

"I'm being serious! There are so many people who love you and it would kill us to lose you, too."

Her blue eyes flashed with anger. "Screw you Daisy!" Her voice grew louder. "Not everyone can run away from their problems and leave their best friend. I had no one here for me!”

"I'm sorry," I croaked out, a lump rising in my throat. "That was insensitive of me."

"For which part?"

"Everything. For leaving without saying goodbye, ignoring you and for what I just said. I'm sorry." A single tear fell down the side of my face.

"My twin was gone, then I lost you too," she choked. "My parents are practically catatonic. They just move around like freaking zombies everywhere, refusing to take care of Derrick and me. I just felt so damn alone and I wanted to be with him." Her shoulders dropped as a sob tore out of her chest followed by tears. "I knew he would make me feel better."

Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. The feeling was too familiar.

"I know it sounds easier but think of everyone you would hurt if you did that," I replied, trying my best to keep my words sound strong. "Your parents. Your little brother who depends on you. Me."

"I know," she sighed.

Our heads turned to the door as a nurse came into view. "Sorry to interrupt, but visiting hours are now over," she said, walking to Tessa's side and checking her vitals.

"Thank you for coming, Daisy," Tessa whispered. "Even if we only had a few minutes, I was hoping you would."

"Me too," I swallowed, waving goodbye and walking back out into the cold, deserted hallway.





I FLIPPED through the pages of the magazine, reading a few lines before skipping over "The Best Advice for Getting Through Your Pap Smear," and instantly became thankful I was not born with a vagina. That shit sounded painful.

Daisy wandered back into the waiting room in slow motion, her arms hanging slack to her sides and her face empty. She stopped at my chair, looking down at me. "Let's go," she announced, sadness evident in her voice.

I closed the magazine, tossing it back down on the table. "That was quick," I replied, pulling myself to my feet, out of the uncomfortable chair. "If you want to stay longer, I don't care. I can just chill here longer and learn how to make it through a pap smear. How the hell do you guys even endure that?"

Her head shook and her ponytail bobbled to each side of her head. "I don't even wanna know why you're reading about pap smears," she said, "but visiting hours are over." With that, she turned around and walked back to the elevators while I followed.

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