chapter Thirteen
Gerald stared at her for a long, long moment before a grin of delight broke over his face. ‘Truly? Why, Susannah, you have made me the happiest of men.’
He pressed a kiss upon her fingers and she waited for the reaction, for her skin to tingle and burn, for that ache deep in her body. It did not come. She was safe.
‘We must tell my aunt,’ she said.
‘By all means, let us go and find her.’
Mrs Wilby was sitting beside Lady Gisburne on the first row of benches. Susannah was inclined to hold back, but Gerald was eager to impart the good news, so she stood silently beside him as he made his announcement.
Mrs Wilby looked a little startled at first, but then she smiled and held out her hand for him to kiss. Lady Gisburne’s congratulations were more restrained, and she gave Susannah a quizzical look.
‘I did not know you were considering matrimony, Miss Prentess.’
‘I have been pestering her to marry me for months now,’ said Gerald happily. He turned his smile towards Susannah. ‘And at last my persistence has been rewarded.’
‘And when will the engagement be announced?’ the dowager enquired. ‘Or is it to be a private affair?’
‘Of course it will be made public,’ replied Susannah, frowning a little. ‘Everything shall be done properly.’
The words reminded her of the encounter with Jasper and she had to force her wandering mind to concentrate upon the dowager’s next words.
‘And will this affect our plans for the charity?’
‘Not at all, except...’ Susannah hesitated as she thought of a way to delay her next meeting with the viscount. ‘Perhaps we could put off our visit to Florence House until Thursday morning?’
‘Very well, my dear, Thursday it shall be.’
‘Thank you, ma’am.’ The sudden scrape of the fiddles caught Susannah’s attention. She wanted very much to go home, but to leave so suddenly after the announcement would cause comment, Instead she turned to Gerald.
‘The dancing will be starting again very soon. Shall we join them?’
‘Why not?’ He grinned. ‘And now we are betrothed I need not give you up for the rest of the evening!’
* * *
Jasper stood back, watching the dancers. He could not keep his eyes from Susannah, who skipped and twirled about the room, her bouncing curls gleaming in the candlelight. She was going down the dance with Gerald, and although she was smiling Jasper thought her enjoyment a trifle forced. He considered seeking her out for the next dance but decided against it. Their earlier meeting had flustered her. He grinned to himself. It had thrown him, too, to discover just how much he wanted her. His inner smile grew and he shook his head a little, thinking of the mull he had made of his proposal. For once his charming address had deserted him, so it was no wonder he had startled her. But she was no fool. She would know he was in earnest, so he would leave her to become accustomed to the idea of being Lady Markham.
A movement nearby caught his attention. Lady Gisburne was making her way towards the door.
‘Going so soon, ma’am?’
‘I am. These late hours no longer agree with me.’ She paused, her eyes following his gaze to the centre of the room.
‘Are you hoping to dance with Miss Prentess? You will be disappointed, I think.’
‘No, let Barnabus enjoy himself. I shall be calling upon Miss Prentess on Thursday.’
‘Will you now?’ She paused. ‘And does the lady know of it?’
He smiled.
‘She does indeed.’ He dragged his eyes away from the dancers and fixed them upon the old lady’s face. ‘Why do you ask?’
She did not reply and for an instant Jasper wanted to take her into his confidence, to tell her he intended to make Susannah Prentess his wife. But no. She was Dominic’s godmother, not his. His family must be informed first, and he would tell them just as soon as he had made his formal proposal to Susannah.
The dowager waved her hand as she finally replied, ‘Oh, no reason. But if you are not going to dance again, Markham, then you can make yourself useful and escort me back to Laura Place.’
He laughed at that.
‘Of course, ma’am. With the greatest of pleasure.’
* * *
Jasper had never been so impatient to be done with his estate business, but at length it was concluded and he could return to Bath. On Thursday morning he rose early and dressed with particular care, honouring the occasion with a morning coat of midnight blue, a white-embroidered waistcoat and buff coloured pantaloons tucked into shining Hessians. He arrived at Royal Crescent shortly before ten o’clock. He was shown into the morning room, where he found Mrs Wilby engaged with her tambour frame. She quickly put it down when he entered, and rose to greet him.
‘Lord Markham, this is a pleasant surprise.’
He bowed over her hand.
‘Did Miss Prentess not tell you I would be calling?’
‘No, my lord, she did not.’ She waved him to a seat. ‘She has gone out.’
‘Oh? And when do you expect her to return?’
‘Not for some time, my lord. She is gone to Florence House with Lady Gisburne.’ She noticed his frown and added quickly, ‘They arranged it some days ago, I believe.’
‘Then she did not tell you I intended to call?’
She fluttered her hands.
‘No, but with all the excitement of the past few days I expect it slipped her mind.’
‘Excitement, ma’am?’
She looked at him in surprise.
‘Did you not know? She is engaged to Mr Barnabus.’
It took all Jasper’s self-command to get him through the rest of the interview and back out into the street. While his mouth uttered the congratulations expected of him, his mind was seething with conjecture, none of which made any sense.
So she had accepted Gerald’s proposal. But why now, when she had consistently turned him down in the past? And to do so within days of their explosive encounter on Monday evening? The two events must be linked. She had said she could not marry him—was that because she had already accepted Gerald? He paused, rubbing his chin. If that was so, why did she not tell him as much?
* * *
By the time he reached York House he was no nearer an answer and he strode on to Westgate Buildings, where he was informed Mr Barnabus had not yet left his room. He took the stairs two at a time and his knock upon the door was answered almost immediately.
‘Jasper, come in.’ Gerald was in his shirtsleeves, his cravat hanging loose about his neck. He stood aside to let Jasper enter. ‘I thought you were at Markham.’
‘I returned last night. I understand I should congratulate you.’ Jasper watched him carefully. There was nothing but genuine pleasure in the young man’s smile.
‘Ah, you have heard then. She has accepted me at last.’
Jasper forced his own lips into a smile and said casually, ‘You have been very busy while I have been away.’
‘It was all agreed at the Upper Rooms on Monday. I was coming out of the tea room when we met and, well...’ He paused while he deftly knotted his neckcloth, then grinned at Jasper. ‘Suddenly we had agreed it all.’
‘Extraordinary,’ murmured Jasper.
‘Isn’t it?’ said Gerald. ‘I can’t tell you how happy I am.’ He glanced down at his watch. ‘I cannot stay longer, I am afraid. I am off to Hotwells to see my mother. I want to tell her myself and give her time to become accustomed to the idea before I take Susannah to meet her. Then we can decide upon when and where we are to be married.’
Jasper had been holding on to some faint idea that this was all a hoax, but now that hope died. Susannah would not deliberately serve Gerald such a trick. But something was wrong, he was certain of it, and if he was to prevent her making the biggest mistake of her life then he had to call a halt to this engagement, before it was too late.
He went back to his hotel and sent a note to Royal Crescent, formally begging for an interview with Miss Prentess as soon as she returned. Shortly before dinner he had his reply. He read the words aloud. ‘Miss Prentess
regrets she is not at home to callers.’
With a savage curse he screwed up the paper and hurled it into the fireplace.
* * *
Susannah and Lady Gisburne’s visit to Florence House took the best part of the day, but Susannah was well satisfied with the result. Mrs Gifford was now back as housekeeper, and after accepting their condolences upon the death of her sister she sat down with them to discuss the running of the house. Lady Gisburne approved of all that had been achieved and promised to provide funds to enable more extensive repairs on the house to begin immediately. Before leaving, Susannah took some time to speak to the young ladies still in residence. There were only two, Lizzie and her baby having moved to Henrietta Street. Violet Anstruther was inclined to be tearful and required a great deal of comforting from Mrs Gifford, but Jane and her baby were doing well and Susannah was touched when Jane asked permission to call her daughter Susan.
* * *
‘You were wise to start on a small scale,’ Lady Gisburne commented as the carriage trundled back to Bath. ‘Now word of Florence House is out I expect applications to increase rapidly.’
‘Yes, sadly I believe that is true. There are any number of young women requiring our support. The rent from Odesse and the lace-makers helps, but it will not cover everything. Your help is very welcome in keeping the house running.’
‘The papers are being drawn up even now, and I have sent out invitations for the little party on Saturday, to formally announce my patronage of Florence House.’ The dowager gave a thin smile. ‘There are times when a title is very useful, Miss Prentess. I have had very few refusals.’
‘I am glad to hear it, My aunt and I are very much looking forward to coming to Laura Place for the event, I only wish Gerald could be back in time, but he writes to say Mrs Barnabus needs him for a few more days yet.’
With an alarming want of tact he had also written that his mother had been thrown into strong hysterics by the news of their betrothal, but she did not intend to share this news with anyone.
‘Once you are married you may not be able to play such an active role,’ remarked the dowager. ‘You will have a family of your own to consider.’
Susannah looked away, uncomfortable with such thoughts. She had become engaged to Barnabus because he had seemed safe, he was inclined to worship her reverently, but she was well aware that once they were married he would expect her to allow him more than a chaste kiss on the cheek.
‘My aunt has always been the main player in this, Lady Gisburne.’
‘Tush, everyone knows now that you are the force behind Florence House.’ The dowager smiled. ‘It does not matter too much. Mrs Gifford is perfectly capable of handling the day-to-day running of the charity, and we will merely be patronesses, something that you can do even if you were to live many miles from here.’
Susannah frowned.
‘Why should you say that? Mr Barnabus is very happy to make his home in Bath.’
From her corner of the carriage the dowager gave her an enigmatic smile.
‘Sometimes one’s plans can change,’ she said.
* * *
The news that Lord Markham had called was no surprise to Susannah, although she told Aunt Maude she had quite forgotten about it. The viscount’s subsequent note gave her a momentary panic, but her response was soon sent back to him and she hoped that would be the end of it.
‘Indeed, I am quite fatigued with all the recent excitement,’ she remarked as she sat down to dinner with her aunt. ‘I think, while Gerald is away from Bath, I should like to have Gatley deny all visitors.’
Aunt Maude was immediately concerned.
‘My love, this is quite unlike you, you usually have an abundance of energy. Are you sure you are not sickening for something?’
‘No, no, of course not. I have been trotting a little too hard, as Gerald would say. I shall come about again very soon, you will see.’
‘I sincerely hope so.’ Aunt Maude picked up her knife and fork. ‘Very well, we shall cancel all our engagements for a few days, and do nothing more strenuous than stroll to the Pump Room, where I am sure a glass of the waters will soon restore your spirits.’
* * *
The Pump Room was always popular, but any hope Susannah had that she might lose herself in the jostling crowd soon disappeared when she saw Jasper making his purposeful way towards her.
His greeting was abrupt, and when he suggested they might take a turn about the room together she politely declined. She remained resolutely beside her aunt, conversing with friends, then she took a cup of the waters, sipping at it reluctantly and doing her best not to screw up her face at the sulphurous taste, but all the time she was aware of the viscount’s dark presence, waiting for his chance for a private word with her. It could not last, however. Lord Markham was far too distinguished a visitor to be allowed to stand idle. He was soon accosted by those claiming an acquaintance and he was obliged to move away. Eventually he left the Pump Room and the tension in her spine eased. She could relax again, and when she saw Kate Logan she hurried across the room to greet her.
‘My dear, where have you been for such an age?’ Susannah took Kate’s hands and pulled her forwards to kiss her cheek. ‘To go off for such a time, and never a word to me to say where you had gone.’
‘I know, and I apologise,’ said Kate. ‘We arrived back too late last night to call upon you.’
‘Never mind that, you are here now.’ Susannah took her arm. ‘Let us walk about the room and you can tell me where you have been.’
‘I believe you have news, too, Susannah—’
‘Yes, but you must go first,’ she interrupted her. ‘I insist.’
‘Very well.’ They walked on for a few steps and Susannah watched her friend biting her lip. She looked unusually pensive. ‘I have been to Radstock.’
‘Radstock!’ Susannah laughed. ‘What on earth can have taken you there?’
‘Mr Camerton’s mother lives there. Mr—that is—Charles and I are to be married.’
Susannah halted.
‘But I thought—’ She stared at her friend. ‘I don’t understand. I thought you had vowed never to marry again. After the last time...’
‘I know, I thought I would never meet anyone who would make me change my mind on that, but I have.’
‘No.’ Susannah turned to her, taking her hands and giving them a little shake. ‘Kate, you are funning. You must be. Your last husband was a monster, you told me he— That no man was worth the risk...’
Kate blushed and shook her head.
‘I was wrong,’ she said simply. ‘When I met Charles I knew I was wrong.’ She looked up suddenly. ‘But you are a fine one to be admonishing me for my change of heart! I hear you are engaged, now, to Gerald Barnabus.’
‘Yes, yes, but that is different,’ argued Susannah. ‘I will not be diverted, Kate. How can you be engaged to Mr Camerton? You have known him for only a few short weeks.’
‘I know, but I love him, Susannah.’ The smile and the soft look that transfigured the widow’s face made Susannah’s heart sink. ‘He is a gambler, like me. We fell in love at the card table, then he came to call and took me riding, and we went walking in Sydney Gardens, and...’ Kate looked up, her eyes shining. ‘He has turned my whole world upside down, Susannah. He sends my spirits soaring heavenwards just by holding my hand. His smile lights up my day. And he feels the same way about me. I can hardly believe my good fortune. He loves me, he really does. So we are to be married, just as soon as the banns have been called.’
A cold, dark cloud wrapped itself around Susannah’s heart as she listened to her friend. She thought of Gerald Barnabus, her own fiancé. She imagined him holding her hand, smiling at her and she felt nothing. Nothing at all.
* * *
Mrs Wilby was as good as her word and cancelled all their engagements for the whole week, with the exception of Lady Gisburne’s party at Laura Place. Susannah was adamant that they must attend, but she was uncharacteristically nervous as she allowed Dorcas to dress her in her cream satin with the green ribbon ties.
‘Stop fidgeting, miss, do,’ Dorcas admonished her as she nestled tiny cream rosebuds amongst the golden curls piled up on her head. ‘I’ve never known you in such a fret before a party.’
‘Tonight’s soirée means Florence House is no longer a secret, Dorcas,’ Susannah told her. ‘I am very anxious that it should be a success.’
But to herself she acknowledged that this was not the reason for her unease. Since her engagement to Gerald she had avoided Jasper’s company, but tonight there could be no escape. She would have to face him.
* * *
‘Well this is most satisfactory,’ murmured Aunt Maude, looking around the crowded reception rooms in Laura Place, ‘I believe all of Bath is here tonight.’
Susannah could only nod in agreement. Lady Gisburne had specifically noted on her invitations that the evening was to acknowledge her patronage of Florence House, a home for distressed gentlewomen, but only one or two people had stayed away. Everyone else was keen to congratulate the dowager upon her support of such a cause. Even Mrs Bulstrode was present, as well as Mr and Mrs Farthing, a generous donation from Lady Gisburne to the Walcot Street Penitentiary helping them to bury their resentment.
‘A very different reaction to the one I received,’ murmured Susannah.
‘Unmarried ladies are expected to be more circumspect,’ came her aunt’s comfortable response. ‘When you are Mrs Barnabus no one will think anything of you supporting such a cause. What a pity Gerald could not be here tonight.’
Susannah thought so, too, especially when Jasper appeared. Her heart began to hammer uncomfortably when she saw him walk in, his gleaming black hair brushed back from that handsome face. He bowed over the dowager’s hand, and as he straightened his dark eyes raked the room. It was as if some second sense brought his gaze straight to her.
She squared her shoulders. It would be better to get this first meeting over, then they could be easy. Her confidence began to wane as he made his way towards her. He stopped to speak to others on his way, his easy manners and charming smile much in evidence, but when at last he stood before her there was a fierce, uncompromising look in his eye that made her want to run away. Instead she forced her knees to bend a little. She kept her hands firmly clasped about her fan.
‘Lord Markham.’
‘Miss Prentess.’
Aunt Maude was addressing the viscount, nervousness making her garrulous, but Susannah did not hear her and she suspected Jasper too was not attending. He was holding her eyes.
‘I believe you have been indisposed, ma’am.’
‘I, er, I have been resting, but I could not miss this evening.’
‘I guessed as much, which is why I came.’ He lowered his voice. ‘You cannot avoid me for ever, you know.’
A sudden constriction in her throat made it difficult for Susannah to swallow. She kept her eyes on her fan, studying the intricate pattern on the sticks.
‘I have no idea what...’ Her voice tailed away when she looked up and met his hard eyes again.
Someone had claimed Mrs Wilby’s attention. For the moment no one was attending to them and Jasper made the most of the opportunity.
‘We will talk, alone.’
‘No, I cannot. I—’
‘You can and will.’ He leaned closer. ‘There is a small sitting room downstairs. The door to the left of the hall table. I will meet you there at midnight.’
‘No.’ She cast about wildly for an excuse. ‘That is...’
In the press of the crowd no one saw him grip her arm.
‘Midnight,’ he said again. ‘Be there, madam. You owe me that much.’
* * *
Jasper moved away and Susannah was free to circulate, to talk, but even while she conversed and smiled her mind was racing. He was angry with her and she could not blame him. She tried to tell herself he could not touch her now, she was engaged to Gerald, but somehow that thought did not reassure her as it should. She took a glass of wine to steady her nerves and tried to interest herself in the proceedings. She knew most of the people present, even the various single gentlemen who attended her card parties had turned out in force. At one point she found herself face to face with Mr Warwick. He looked confused for a moment, she thought he might speak to her, but after acknowledging her with a tiny nod of his head he hurried away. She wondered why. If it was true that he was the father of Violet Anstruther’s child then he should be grateful to her. Florence House would take on the responsibility that he had shirked. Hunching one white shoulder, she turned away. Her eyes strayed to the clock on the mantelpiece. Eleven o’clock. Another hour and she would have to join Jasper in that downstairs room. Alone.
You do not have to go, a little voice in her head whispered seductively. Think of the scandal. You are promised to another man. You should not go.
But she would go, if only because she knew that Jasper would come after her if she did not. The minutes ticked by with agonising slowness. Lady Gisburne carried her away to introduce her to Lady this, and Lord that, but she could concentrate on nothing, only the hands of the clock steadily moving towards twelve.
* * *
The noise from the reception rooms died away behind her as Susannah slipped down the stairs. The hall was deserted save for a porter dozing in his chair by the front door. She could see the hall table, flanked by two identical doors. Pausing only to collect herself, she moved to the one on the left.
Susannah closed the door quietly behind her and looked around. At first she thought the room was empty. A small fire and the single-branched candlestick provided only enough light to show her the empty satin-covered sofa and armchairs. Then a shadow moved by the window and she saw Jasper.
‘I cannot stay long, my lord. I shall be missed.’
‘Tell me why you are marrying Barnabus.’
She moved towards the fire, holding her hands out to the glow, more for distraction than any need of warmth.
‘Is it not obvious?’
‘Not to me.’
She ran her tongue across her lips. They were dry, a sign of her nervousness.
‘He...he has courted me for months.’
‘But you knew I was going to offer for you. Why did you not tell me then?’
‘I did not think you were serious.’
‘After what happened on the balcony of the tea room?’ He gave a savage laugh. ‘How passionate does a man have to be, madam, before you consider him serious?’
She did not move, keeping her attention on the hearth. She heard his hasty stride behind her.
‘How passionate was Barnabus, when you accepted him?’
Her head came up at that.
‘Gerald is a gentleman—’
‘You mean he has not touched you.’
She fluttered her fan.
‘He does not need to. We—’
‘You have promised yourself to a man for whom you feel nothing.’
‘That is not true!’
‘Is it not?’ He grasped her shoulders and turned her to face him. ‘Does the blood pulse through your veins when he touches you? Does Barnabus drive you to the brink of madness with desire?’
She shrugged him off.
‘I do not want that.’ Her cheeks were burning and she fanned herself rapidly.
‘Did you accept him to escape from me?’ When she did not reply he continued, ‘So that’s it. You are afraid of what is between us—’
‘There is nothing between us!’
He took the fan from her and threw it down on the chair. Before she could protest he pulled her into his arms and kissed her savagely. Immediately her body sprang to life. The blood not only pulsed, it positively sang in her veins. She knew she must not give in. She put her hands on his chest, resisting the impulse to cling to his coat.
‘Tell me you feel nothing for me.’ His breath was hot on her neck as he covered her skin with kisses, each one burning even further through the defences she had erected. ‘Tell me you do not want to lie here with me now and let me make love to you.’
With a superhuman effort she pushed herself away from him.
‘That is desire, my lord, but it is not love.’
He towered over her, his face in shadow and his shoulders rising and falling with each ragged breath.
‘If it is love to know I cannot live without you, that every day we are apart is a day in hell then, yes, Susannah, I love you.’
Lies, said the voice in her head. He is a seducer. He will say anything to bend you to his will.
She backed away, the pain of the separation tearing at her skin.
‘Well, I do not love you.’
The words fell like lead weights into the silence between them.
‘Do you love Gerald?’
She hesitated.
‘We have mutual affection and respect. Love will follow.’
‘Are you sure, Susannah?’ He was closing in again, and once more desire and panic warred within her. ‘Are you sure it won’t be boredom that will follow? Dull complacency?’
She gave a sob.
‘You do not understand. I am safe with Gerald. I can live my life in comfort, I will not be forever wondering if he is faithful to me, I will not risk...’ she turned away, squeezing her eyes shut, trying to hold back the tears as she forced out the final words ‘...breaking my heart.’
Silence. Susannah could hear only the ticking of the clock. Surreptitiously she wiped away a rogue tear.
‘Ah.’ He uttered the word like a sigh. ‘I would offer you my hand, my heart, my life, Susannah, but there is an element of risk in all things. This passion we feel for one another may burn out, though I do not believe it. You would have to trust me on that, but you have never trusted any man, have you?’
‘Men in the grip of passion are unreliable,’ she muttered. ‘Even my own father, though he swore he loved my mother and came crawling back, begging for forgiveness on more than one occasion.’
‘I cannot argue against that,’ he said quietly. ‘I know some men are feckless creatures, but not all of us. However, if you would rather have Barnabus—
‘He loves me!’
‘Then let us hope that is enough for both of you, and that I have been mistaken in my own feelings.’ He walked to the door. ‘Goodbye, Susannah. I will not trouble you again.’
He went out, the door closing behind him. The emptiness and silence pressed in on her. Susannah felt then that she had lost something in her life. As though some prop, something necessary to her comfort, had been taken away.