We walked side by side down the dark street. “You look really fantastic, Grace. I thought so as soon as I saw you the other day on the subway.”
“Wasn’t that so weird? It was like the universe was teasing us; we saw each other just a second too late.” I hadn’t thought of it that way. I loved her mind. “I mean, apparently we live a few blocks from each other but we’ve never run into each other. It’s kind of strange.”
“Actually, I just moved into that apartment when I came back to New York last year.”
“Where were you before that?”
“I moved to the Upper West Side five years ago, but then I left for L.A. for a little while. After my divorce from Elizabeth was finalized, I came back to New York. That was about a year ago. I’m renting the loft on Wooster now.”
I watched Grace’s reaction carefully, but all she said was, “I see.”
Inside the dark bar, Grace selected a small table, hung her bag over the back of a chair, and pointed to the jukebox in the corner. “I’m gonna pick out a song. It’s too quiet in here for a bar.” Her mood seemed lighter. I thought about how she couldn’t handle being indoors without music. She was fine outside, listening to nature, but when she was inside, she always had to have music on.
“Can I order you a drink?”
“A glass of red wine would be great.”
I had to constantly remind myself not to reminisce in my head and to just be in the moment. There was a lot to say, after all. When I returned with our drinks, she was sitting, elbows propped on the table, her chin resting on top of her clasped hands. “You look great too, Matt. I wanted to say that earlier. You haven’t aged much at all.”
“Thanks.”
“I like the long hair, and this . . .” She brushed my beard with her fingertips. I closed my eyes for a second too long. “So, you were in L.A.?”
I tried to control my breathing, to stop myself from breaking down and crying. I was totally overwhelmed in her presence.
A sad song came on with a droning male voice. “Who is this?” I asked as I took a sip of my beer.
“It’s The National. But, Matt, you said you wanted to talk, so let’s talk. You went to L.A. after your divorce, Did you stay with your mom? How’s she doing? I think about her from time to time.”
“I went before I got divorced, actually. To take care of my mom. She passed away while I was there.”
Grace’s eyes filled with tears. “Oh, Matt. I’m so sorry. She was such a wonderful woman.”
My throat tightened. “It was ovarian cancer. Elizabeth thought Andrew should’ve stepped up, but he was too busy trying to make partner at the firm. My mother was dying and her sons were fighting over who should take care of her. So stupid.” I looked away. “My marriage was already on the rocks. Elizabeth was desperately trying to get pregnant, but I was thousands of miles away, across the country. I think, on some level, she thought I was trying to avoid her. I just thought she was being selfish. We were both angry and hurting, I guess.”
She nodded. “What happened after that?”
“While I was in L.A., watching my mother wither away, Elizabeth started having an affair with my friend and our co-worker Brad, a producer at National Geographic. Eight years of marriage—poof.” I made an exploding motion with my hands.
“Eight years? I thought . . .” She hesitated.
“What?”
“Never mind. I’m really sorry, Matt. I don’t know what to say.”
“You can tell me this: why did you leave?”
“Leave when?”
“Why didn’t you leave a note or a message when you went off to Europe? You just left.”
She looked confused. “What do you mean? I waited. You never called me.”
“No, I couldn’t. I couldn’t make any more calls. The only person I talked to was my mom because I could call her collect. I was out of cash. We got stuck in a village with a broken vehicle and hundreds of miles of rain forest around us. I just figured you’d understand.”
She looked shattered. “What about that article in that photography magazine? It basically said you had a job with National Geographic and you were going to Australia after South America.”
“Back in ’97?”
“Yeah.” She threw back her entire glass of wine. “There was a photo of you taking her picture and it said you were going to Australia with her for six months.”
“I’ve never even read this article you’re talking about, so I’m not sure what you mean. Elizabeth asked me to go to Australia, but I turned her down. I came back here to be with you after my internship was over, but you were gone.”