“I’m getting eighty bucks a day. That’s a lot.”
“Grace, are you crazy? What kind of study is this?”
“I just have to take this medicine and then they take me off of it and see if I have any withdrawal symptoms.”
“What? No,” I said, shaking my head in disbelief. I turned her by the shoulders and pointed her toward the curtain. “Go put your clothes on. You’re not doing this.” I looked down at the open hospital gown in the back. She was so damn cute with her little flowery underwear. I pulled the back closed and tied the strings tight so the flaps overlapped.
She turned around and looked up at me with her big green eyes full of tears. “I have to do it, Matt. I need to get my cello back.”
“Back from where?”
“I pawned it for money to pay the rest of my tuition.”
“What about your student loans and financial aid?”
“I had to give some of it to my mom because my little sister needed to get a tooth fixed and they didn’t have the money.” Tears fell from her eyes. When I reached up to brush them away, she flinched.
“Grace, I won’t let you do this. We’ll figure it out, I promise.” Grace selling her cello seemed crazy to me, considering she was a music major. It was hard for me to understand her level of desperation.
“You don’t understand.”
“Explain it to me then.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’ve been helping my parents out. Their situation is more dire than I’ve let on, so I’ve been sending whatever I can from my student loan money. I’m almost out of cash for the semester and my mom called and said she and my dad were going to be evicted. They had the money to cover the rent but my little sister had a broken tooth that needed to be fixed and their credit is shot so they had to pay in cash. I couldn’t stand the thought of my sister going to school in pain with a broken front tooth.”
I was shocked, but that didn’t mean Grace needed to participate in potentially dangerous medical studies. “It’s not your problem.”
“It’s my family. I read about this study and I can make the money back before next week. They pay you every day. I’m going to get my cello back and everything will be fine. But I have to do this, Matt. It’s not a big deal.”
“It’s a huge deal, Grace. You don’t know how this medication will affect you.”
“You still don’t get it.”
“I’m trying to. I have some money. I’ll get your cello back for you.”
She shook her head. “I won’t let you. You need to buy photo paper and film.”
“I have plenty. Don’t worry.” Grace hated letting me help her. She wanted to be independent. “Go change, it’ll be okay.”
She turned and shuffled behind the curtain. When she came back out, she was smiling uncertainly. “You must think I’m insane.”
“I like your neuroses.” I put my arm around her shoulder. “I’m just not going to let anyone use you as a lab rat.”
As she walked by the refreshment table, she scooped a handful of creamers out of the bowl and shoved them into her bag. She would steal creamers everywhere we went, mix them with water, and pour them over her cereal. I smiled at her and shook my head. In a silly voice she said, “Just goin’ grocery shoppin’.” The mood suddenly lifted and we both laughed as we walked out the door. Still, it killed me to think Grace was sending her parents money that her dad was probably using for beer.
We went to the bank and I withdrew the last three hundred dollars I had. I didn’t tell Grace that I actually had negative eight cents in my account after the withdrawal. She took me to the pawnshop where she had dealt her cello, and we were greeted by a middle-aged man behind the counter. “Hello, Grace,” he said.
I shot Grace a disapproving look. “He knows you?” I whispered.
She pinched her eyebrows together. “Kind of.”
“Here to pick up your cello?”
“Yep,” Grace said.
I handed the man three hundred dollars. He went into the back and returned a moment later with the large cello case. Grace completed the paperwork and we left. Once outside the building, I turned to her. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”
I went back inside the pawnshop and asked the man for a piece of paper. “Here’s the number where I live. Please don’t let Grace pawn her cello again. She’s an extraordinary musician. She needs it for school. Just call me and I’ll come down and straighten things out.”
That night, after Grace went to bed, I snuck down to the lounge and called my father collect from the payphone.
“Son?”
“Hi, Dad.”
“Hey there. You impressing everyone at NYU?” Sarcasm seeped through every syllable. He was never good at hiding his disdain.
“I called because I have a friend who needs help and I was wondering if you could loan me some money to lend to her.” My pride was completely gone. I closed my eyes and waited for his response.
“This is for a her? A girlfriend?”
“No, Dad. It’s not like that.”