chapter 20
Samantha awoke stiff and disorientated in the darkness in a small, unfamiliar room. She hobbled from the strange bed to find her mother and father in the main room of the two-bedroom cabin. They told her that she had not slept a few hours as the night sky indicated, but nearly twenty-four hours.
The news jolted her awake. “Alon?”
Her father informed her that the Skinwalkers and Spirit Children had signed a new treaty, but the Ghost Children had refused their invitation and had left at sunset.
Carried on a cresting wave of dread, she ran to the place where Alon’s tent had stood to find only a circle of flattened grass.
Her anxiety turned to grief and she crumpled to the ground in stunned silence. It was Aldara who found her there. One look at the pity on her face and Samantha understood the truth. Alon had done as he had promised. He had seen her safe and he had left her.
After that she didn’t recall what was said. She didn’t remember what she did. It was like a big black hole had opened and she had dropped in. It took weeks to crawl back out.
She knew her mother and father had taken her home. She knew Blake and Aldara were making a life together. She seemed incapable of feeling happy for them. She felt frozen over inside.
It was Aldara who finally snapped her back to reality when she bluntly told Samantha that she had to eat because the babies were growing weak. Samantha would not have that. She still crept through the days, but now she had purpose. The babies were here and they needed her.
Samantha now set about the job of seeing she stayed fit and healthy. She had a reason to rise and wash and eat and move. Her heart still ached and her mood easily turned blue, but she fought now, determined to see her children born and determined to live to raise them.
Her mother was delighted at her news, but her father was worried. He knew from Bess how the Ghostlings were born. But no Halfling had ever birthed such children. The uncertainty did not weigh on Samantha. She had Aldara to watch over her and keep her from venturing off alone to bear her children.
With a father and a brother who were both healers, she thought her mother’s precautions to send for a midwife were unnecessary. But she accepted the arrival of Virginia Thistleback, a wise, old Skinwalker swan who had delivered both Samantha and Blake. She had also fostered Alon’s mother, when Bess Suncatcher first grew her feather cloak and changed into her raven form.
Virginia was nearly three hundred, but strong and hearty as a hickory. Her hair was as white as her feathers and had always been so, according to Samantha’s mother. She examined Samantha and announced that the twins were growing more quickly than Skinwalker babies and would arrive within the month.
Three months into her pregnancy, Samantha was getting larger by the minute when Bess Suncatcher arrived to speak to Aldara. She was shocked to see Samantha’s condition and then overjoyed—until she discovered that Alon was the father.
Samantha had been unable to keep Bess from going to seek her oldest son. It was a terrible time, because Samantha feared he would return only out of duty and was equally afraid he would not return at all. She didn’t know which would be worse. She only knew that she loved Alon and he had set her aside as promised.
To him, she was a responsibility successfully discharged. The lovemaking that had changed her world and brought her this gift of children was a mistake for Alon never to be repeated.
Samantha found little joy in the recognition that she could now use her Seer gifts to expel ghosts and help those souls who were too confused to cross to the Spirit World. She could heal the ill and injured. Her family had all survived the war and, for the first time in their lives, they did not have to run.
But Blake and Aldara were planning to move to their own home as soon as Samantha delivered. And that forced Samantha to recognize that she was approaching her third decade and had never had a home of her own.
She wanted one with Alon and their babies. It made her feel ungrateful, since she had been given so much.
The first pains shot through her lower back and abdomen. She stood to discover her water had broken.
The twins were coming.
Samantha was filled with the sudden irresistible urge to move, to go to the forest alone to deliver her babies.
* * *
Alon smelled the wolf first, and a moment later he spied a familiar raven circling the camp. His mother had found him. He guessed the wolf was Nicholas Chien, a tracker and his mother’s old friend, but he did not make an appearance. Apparently finding Alon was all his mother required.
She landed in a branch above the rough-hewn bench upon which he rested. He had carved this bench with his claws, and it sat on the edge of the little compound they had created in the Canadian Rockies, between two high peaks, where humans rarely ventured.
“So here is my little hermit.” Her voice was high and raspy when she was in bird form, but from her tone and the ruffled feathers at her nape, he knew she was in a foul mood.
“Hello, Mother.”
“Oh, so you still call me this? I thought you had renounced all ties to the evil Skinwalkers. Since you still acknowledge my relationship to you, I will tell you that this is no way to treat those who love you.”
She dropped down to the bench beside him. His second in command, Cody, whom he had known almost since he was born, stepped forward.
“Mother?” he said.
“I’ll deal with you in a minute. Now I need some privacy to speak to my eldest son.”
None was as fierce as Cody in battle, yet a reprimand from their mother sent him scurrying for cover.
There was a flash of white light, like a lightbulb blowing out, and his mother sat beside him. She changed her feather cape so fast he nearly did not see it at all, for in only an instant she was dressed, from her high-heeled boots to her fashionable woolen jacket, in black. This was not a signal of her ire, which he marked now only by her flashing eyes, but the color she wore in both forms. He’d once asked if she was married in black and she said she had been, but would be buried in white to mark the passing of her soul across the veil that separates the Spirit World from the Way of Souls. Unlike the rest of the Halflings, his mother had actually seen that veil.
“You are breaking your father’s heart,” she said and then pinned him with her fixed stare.
It was a struggle not to squirm before her. But in the three and a half months since his departure, he had accomplished much. And in his heart, he knew this was the right course. The Ghost Children were Halflings, but they were different from the Skinwalkers and Spirit Children. They were not born in human form. They were capable of hunting from birth, and they had no souls. And so, no soul mates, no eternal love. He thought again of Samantha and felt the familiar stabbing pain strike his heart.
“It is not your obligation to raise Ghost Children. We agreed that it would be best to alleviate both of you of the responsibility of caring for us.”
“Did you, now? How noble. Did you also decide it would be best to alleviate us of the greatest joy in our lives, alleviate us of our children, our grandchildren?”
Alon felt the certainty that had sustained him for months begin to erode, like ice beneath warm water.
He tried once more. “We never meant to hurt you.”
“Small consolation,” she said, giving him her elegant profile.
“Mother, we know you love us. But we’re not like Skinwalkers. The young ones are dangerous.” He recalled that they had nearly killed Samantha when she had first arrived at their home. “They pose a threat to others.”
“That’s not so!”
She never could see the worst in them. But mothers were like that.
She faced him, her expression earnest and resolute. “Not one of you ever attacked Cesar or me. If you are so dangerous and deadly. If you are born killers. If the world must be protected from you, as they all say—then why did you not kill a small raven and her helpless Spirit Child mate? I have no fangs, Cesar has no claws. Easy prey. Yet here I am. Why, Alon?”
The muscles in his jaw unlocked and his mouth dropped open. Why hadn’t they? Both of his parents were strong, but Bess could not outfly him and Cesar could not outrun him. Yet they let these two scold and teach and direct and nurture. Was she right?
“But...” He could not come up with a rational explanation.
“You never attacked us, even when you did not like the consequences we set for you. You never threatened me and you never hurt Cesar, until now.”
“I never meant to hurt either of you.”
“We are not the only ones you have hurt.”
Did she refer to Samantha?
“I told her I would keep her safe. I made no promises I did not keep.”
“How earnest of you.”
“She has likely moved on.” He feared this was true, though it broke his heart to say it aloud.
“Really? Well, I know otherwise. She told me she never saw a better fighter than you. She said you were the one and only man who ever made her feel completely safe. That does not sound like a woman anxious to be rid of your odious company.”
“She said this?” He could not have her, could not let this tiny silver flash of hope lure him like a bait fish thrashing on a hook. Yet, he clung to his mother’s words, starved for more.
“Yes. She told me at your sister’s wedding.”
Alon’s attention snapped back to his mother.
She nodded the confirmation to his unspoken question. “She is married to Blake Proud. Apparently Aldara does not feel she must spend her life like some outcast. You are part of this world, son. It is past time you claim your place.”
Alon covered his face with his hands. His mother still did not understand. She was blinded by her love and could not see them for what they truly were—soulless hunters, incapable of loving or being loved.
Bess rubbed his back as she had done when he was a boy and still unable to hide his true form.
“Tell me why, Alon. At least give me that.”
He lifted his weary eyes to meet her piercing ones.
“Mother, when Nagi tore the souls from the other Halflings, we alone were standing.”
“Yes?” Her brows tented in question, for she still did not understand.
“He could not tear our souls from our bodies, because, like him, we have none.”
She was on her feet an instant later. “What?”
He stood, as well. “Without souls. That is why he could not take them. He said so, told us. Do you understand now why I can’t go to her?”
Bess sank back to her seat and stared off into space. He could only imagine the shock of this. To realize that all the children she had adopted were not children, not eternal souls trapped in ugly little packages—but unnatural monsters.
When she finally met his gaze, he was taken back. He had expected to see pity or pain, or perhaps even sorrow. Instead, he saw a familiar gleam that in younger days would have sent him headlong in the opposite direction.
“You have a soul, Alon. All living creatures have a soul.”
“We don’t.”
They stared in silence, deadlocked. His mother dropped her voice to a soothing coo. “Is this why you left Samantha?”
He nodded.
“Do you love her?”
“What does that matter? I can never be like you and Dad. I can’t cross with her to the Spirit World.”
“You do this thing because you love her?” Bess coaxed.
“Yes!” he snapped, folding his arms across his chest. “Because she deserves her true soul mate.”
His mother used her thumb and index finger to rub her eyes. Then she glanced skyward, as if calling for help from above. At last she turned to her eldest son and took both his hands. He resisted a moment and then allowed her to unfold his arms. She stared up into his eyes.
“Alon, my dearest boy, you have a soul. The Guardian of the Way of Souls told me so long ago.”
He looked away. His mom squeezed his hands. Alon kept his head averted, but now glanced at her from the corner of his eye. He did not like the hope that crept back into his belly, swelling like a sponge in warm water. He couldn’t bear it if he gave in to the hope only to have it crushed out of him once more.
“I spoke to Hihankara. She said that all the children of Nagi bear the markings necessary to gain entrance to the Spirit World. She said she thought only Soul Whisperers were born with such marks. But that all Ghost Children bear them, too. Do you hear me, son? You have a soul and you will one day enter the Spirit World. Hihankara told me so.”
“She could be wrong,” he whispered, longing to give in to the possibility even has he dug his heels in further.
“Alon.” Tears filled her eyes. “I saw Gregory and Gail on the Road.”
He stilled, thinking of the brothers and sisters he had lost. Gregory and Gail had fallen early in the battle.
“I called to them, but they begged to go. I had not the heart to force them back to us. Do you understand? I saw their souls, brilliant silver and shining bright as the face of the full moon. You have a soul, Alon. And you are born with your feet already upon the Red Road. Your love will not hinder Samantha. It glorifies her, it strengthens her and it protects her.”
Alon sank back against the bench. His heart now raced and his ears were ringing as if he flew very fast.
“Is it true?” he whispered. “Can it be?”
“Yes.”
“Then why could Nagi not tear our souls away with the others?”
“I know only that it is not because you do not have one.”
He did not remember standing, but suddenly he found he was on his feet.
“I have to go to her,” he whispered, more to himself than to his mother. “Where is she?”
“Back with her parents in Yellowknife.”
Alon was already airborne.
“Wait! I haven’t finished.” His mother’s words receded as he flew fast. He needed to get to Samantha.
Alon rocketed through the skies, night to day to night once more, not stopping, racing higher and faster than he had ever gone. He rose so high he saw the glittering path that led to the Spirit World, and he saw the shining silver souls walking along the path.
Then he came down, low to the ground, sighting the topography, searching for the Great Slave Lake, which would mark his arrival. He found Yellowknife and recalled Samantha telling him that Nagi found them because she had expelled a ghost from a boy in a place called Dogrib. He started there, finding a Skinwalker, a wolf, whom he recognized by his scent. His name was Nodi, a tribal leader, and he said he had fought with Sebastian in Wyoming. He did not recognize Alon in this form, but seeing him turn to his fighting form convinced him. Nodi provided him with clothing, jeans, boots and a navy blue jacket with a king salmon embroidered on the breast. After he learned Alon was Aldara’s brother, he agreed to lead him to the Prouds’ home.
His arrival was not as private as he would have liked. Nodi, his elder escort, brought him to Sebastian, who looked less than pleased to see Alon. His wife, Michaela, welcomed him to their large, three-story home, though Alon perceived from her breathing and heart rate that his unexpected appearance made her anxious.
Blake turned up next and clearly wanted to kick his ass, but his new wife, Aldara, held on to his arm. He appreciated her support until she told Blake that if anyone was going to pummel him, it would be her.
It was unanimous. None of them wanted him here. They stood in the living room, like a stone wall.
“Samantha?” he asked again.
“She doesn’t want to see you,” said Aldara.
He lowered his chin and glared at his sister. “That wasn’t what I asked.”
“You have been absent for months. You did not even attend your own sister’s wedding. Why now?” asked Michaela Proud.
“My mother tracked me down. She told me...” How did he say this? “She told me where to find her.”
Her dad took a menacing step in Alon’s direction, but his wife’s hand stayed him.
“Let him finish,” said Samantha’s mother.
Alon knew he had been a fool and that his misguided effort to protect Samantha had actually hurt her deeply. He did not blame her loved ones for trying to protect her from further harm.
“I thought...” He stopped, checked himself and then realized he would not be able to keep his dignity. He would not be able to appear as anything other than what he was, a fool who had used their daughter and then tossed her aside. If he was going to get to Samantha, he’d have to begin with that. “I have feelings for Samantha.”
Her dad’s hands curled into fists.
He hurried on. “But I didn’t believe I was right for her.”
“You left without a word because you cared? Is that what you expect us to believe?” asked Blake.
“I did.”
The lines about Aldara’s mouth softened and her brow lifted, giving him the first sign of a willingness to listen. “What changed your mind?”
“I was wrong, Aldara. What I said to you, what I believed about us. All wrong. Mom told me she saw Greg and Gail on the Spirit Road. She saw their immortal souls. We have them, Aldara. We all do.”
Aldara’s shoulders slumped and she swayed against her husband, who wrapped his arms about her instantly. She nestled against Blake, buried her face in his coat and wept out her relief. Blake’s eyes pinched closed and his head bowed. Alon understood then. She had told him and he had accepted her anyway.
“Blake? What?” asked Sebastian.
Michaela spoke now, moving past her husband to stare at Alon with a look of absolute astonishment. “You doubted this?”
He nodded, grimly. “I was certain...so certain that I made a grave mistake.”
“Letting her go?” asked Sebastian.
“I need to speak to her.” He put it all out there, telling them the truth, not trying to keep his pride, for he had none left. “I need to tell her that I was wrong, that I’m sorry and that I love her. I just wanted her to be happy, and I couldn’t see that I could ever make that happen. But if she’ll give me another chance, I’ll spend the centuries trying to make up for what I’ve done.”
The room fell so silent that he could hear his own stomach growling. No one moved as his gaze flicked from one frowning face to the next.
At last, Blake stepped aside and extended his hand toward the twin staircases that rose from the foyer to the second floor.
“I’ll take him,” offered Aldara.
Michaela glanced to her husband, who nodded his consent, then her attention swept back to Blake.
Alon followed his sister up the stairs, across the landing that overlooked an enormous grand room. The Prouds all stared up at him as he crossed to the hallway and out of their sight.
Aldara paused partway down the hall. “So we have immortal souls?”
“Yes.”
She drew a great, long breath. “I’ve been afraid to have children. Afraid they would be soulless like us. But now...”
The bright smile radiated hope for a moment and then gradually faded as she returned her focus to him.
“You’ve got an uphill climb, brother. She’s been grieving for months. Inconsolable. The entire family has been worried. If not for...” She stopped herself.
“For what?” he coaxed.
“For your sorry ass and your assumptions none of this would have happened. You would have been with her all along instead of having to crawl back here with your mea culpas. And, brother, she needed you. I don’t know how you’ll make this right, but you best give it your all.” She lifted a finger and pressed it deep into his chest. “Don’t screw up again.”
With those final words of encouragement, his sister paused, drew a breath and then lifted her hand to knock on the closed door.
Samantha’s lovely musical voice responded, calling out a question.
“It’s Aldara. May I come in?”
Samantha invited his sister to enter. When he tried to follow, she pushed him back in the hall.
“You got by them. But you don’t get by me unless she wants to see you. Wait here.”
The door slammed in his face.