He looked to the ground and his eyebrows pulled together. “Did he kiss you?”
“Yes,” I sighed, irritated.
His eyes closed tight. “Is that all?”
“That is none of your business!” I said, yanking open the door.
Travis pushed it closed and stood in my way, his expression apologetic. “I need to know.”
“No you don’t! Move, Travis!”
“Pigeon…,”
“You think because I’m no longer a virgin, I’ll screw anyone that’ll have me? Thanks!” I said, shoving him.
“I didn’t say that, damn it! Is it too much to ask for a little peace of mind?”
“Why would it give you peace of mind to know if I’m sleeping with Parker?”
“How can you not know? It’s obvious to everyone else but you!” he said, exasperated.
“I guess I’m just an idiot, then. You’re on a roll tonight, Trav,” I said, reaching for the door handle.
He gripped my shoulders. “The way I feel about you…it’s crazy.”
“You got the crazy part right,” I snapped, pulling away from him.
“I practiced this in my head the whole time we were on the bike, so just hear me out,” he said.
“Travis—,”
“I know we’re fucked up, all right? I’m impulsive, and hot-tempered, and you get under my skin like no one else. You act like you hate me one minute, and then you need me the next. I never get anything right, and I don’t deserve you…but I fucking love you, Abby. I love you more than I’ve loved anyone or anything, ever. When you’re around, I don’t need booze, or money, or the fighting, or the one-night stands…all I need is you. You’re all I think about. You’re all I dream about. You’re all I want.”
My plan to feign ignorance was an epic fail. I couldn’t pretend to be impervious when he had laid all of his cards on the table. When we met, something inside both of us had changed, and whatever that was, it made us need each other. For reasons unknown to me, I was his exception, and as much as I had tried to fight my feelings, he was mine.
He shook his head, cupped each side of my face, and looked into my eyes. “Did you sleep with him?”
Hot tears filled my eyes as I shook my head no. He slammed his lips against mine, and his tongue entered my mouth without hesitation. Unable to control myself, I gripped his shirt in my fists, and pulled him to me. He hummed in his amazing, deep voice, and gripped me so tight that it was difficult to breathe.
He pulled back, breathless. “Call Parker. Tell him you don’t wanna see him anymore. Tell him you’re with me.”
I closed my eyes. “I can’t be with you, Travis.”
“Why the hell not?” he said, letting go.
I shook my head, afraid of his reaction to the truth.
He laughed once. “Unbelievable. The one girl I want, and she doesn’t want me.”
I swallowed, knowing I would have to get closer to the truth than I had in months. “When America and I moved out here, it was with the understanding that my life was going to turn out a certain way. Or, that it wouldn’t turn out a certain way. The fighting, the gambling, the drinking…it’s what I left behind. When I’m around you…it’s all right there for me in an irresistible, tattooed package. I didn’t move hundreds of miles away to live it all over again.”
He pulled my chin up so that I would face him. “I know you deserve better than me. You think I don’t know that? But if there was any woman made for me…it’s you. I’ll do whatever I have to do, Pidge. Do you hear me? I’ll do anything.”
I turned away from his grip, ashamed that I couldn’t tell him the truth. I was the one that wasn’t good enough. I would be the one to ruin everything; to ruin him. He would hate me one day, and I couldn’t see the look in his eye when he came to that conclusion.
He held the door shut with his hand. “I’ll stop fighting the second I graduate. I won’t drink a single drop again. I’ll give you the happy ever after, Pigeon. If you just believe in me, I can do it.”
“I don’t want you to change.”