Beautiful Disaster 01

America didn’t look back when she left my room, and I chewed my lip nervously, knowing how angry she would be when she realized what I’d done.

My shirt crackled as I pulled it over my head, the static in the air had intensified with the coming winter. Feeling a bit lost, I curled into a ball underneath my thick comforter, and inhaled through my nose; Travis’ scent still lingered on my skin.

The bed felt cold and foreign, a sharp contrast to the warmth of Travis’ mattress. I had spent thirty days in a cramped apartment with Eastern’s most infamous tramp, and after all the bickering and late-night houseguests, it was the only place I wanted to be.



The phone calls began at eight in the morning, and then every five minutes for an hour.

“Abby!” Kara groaned. “Answer your stupid phone!”

I reached over and turned it off. It wasn’t until I heard the banging on the door that I realized I wouldn’t be allowed to spend the day holed-up in my room as planned.

Kara yanked on the knob. “What?”

America pushed past her, and stood beside my bed. “What in the hell is going on?” she yelled. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she was still in her pajamas.

I sat up. “What, Mare?”

“Travis is a fucking wreck! He won’t talk to us, he’s trashed the apartment, threw the stereo across the room…Shep can’t talk any sense into him!”

I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hand, and blinked. “I don’t know.”

“Bullshit! You’re going to tell me what in the hell is going on, and you’re going to tell me now!”

Kara grabbed her shower bag and fled. She slammed the door behind her, and I frowned, afraid she would tell the resident advisor, or worse, the Dean of Students.

“Keep it down, America, Jesus,” I whispered.

She clenched her teeth. “What did you do?”

I assumed he would be upset with me; I didn’t know he’d fly into a rage. “I…don’t know,” I swallowed.

“He took a swing at Shep when he found out we helped you leave. Abby! Please tell me!” she pleaded, her eyes glossing over. “It’s scaring me!”

The fear in her eyes forced only the partial truth. “I just couldn’t say goodbye. You know it’s hard for me.”

“It’s something else, Abby. He’s gone fucking nuts! I heard him call your name, and then he stomped all over the apartment looking for you. He barged into Shep’s room, demanding to know where you were. Then he tried to call you. Over, and over and over,” she sighed. “His face was…Jesus, Abby. I’ve never seen him like that.

“He ripped his sheets off the bed, and threw them away, threw his pillows away, shattered his mirror with his fist, kicked his door…broke it from the hinges! It was the scariest thing I’ve ever seen in my life!”

I closed my eyes, forcing the tears that pooled in my eyes down my cheeks.

America thrust her cell phone at me. “You have to call him. You have to at least tell him your okay.”

“Okay, I’ll call him.”

She shoved her phone at me again. “No, you’re calling him now.”

I took her phone in my hand and fingered the buttons, trying to imagine what I could possibly say to him. She snatched it out of my hand, dialed, and then handed it to me. I held the phone to my ear, and took a deep breath.

“Mare?” Travis answered, his voice thick with worry.

“It’s me.”

The line was quiet for several moments before he finally spoke. “What the fuck happened to you last night? I wake up this morning, and you’re gone and you…you just leave and don’t say goodbye? Why?”

“I’m sorry. I—,”

“You’re sorry? I’ve been going crazy! You don’t answer your phone, you sneak out and, wha—why? I thought we finally had everything figured out!”

“I just needed some time to think.”

“About what?” he paused.“Did I hurt you?”

“No! It’s nothing like that! I’m really…really sorry. I’m sure America told you. I don’t do goodbyes.”

“I need to see you,” he said, his voice desperate.

I sighed. “I have a lot to do today, Trav. I have to unpack and I have piles of laundry.”

Jamie McGuire's books