“Promise me,” he said, groaning with another thrust.
“I love you. I’ll love you forever.” The words were more of a sigh, but I met his eyes when I said them. I could see the uncertainty in his eyes vanish, and even in the dim light, his face brightened.
Finally satisfied, he sealed his mouth over mine.
Travis woke me with kisses. My head was heavy and fogged from the multiple drinks I’d had the night before, but the hour before I fell asleep replayed in my mind in vivid detail. Soft lips showered every inch of my hand, arm and neck, and when he reached my lips, I smiled.
“Good morning,” I said against his mouth.
He didn’t speak; his lips continued working against mine. His solid arms enveloped me, and then he buried his face in my neck.
“You’re quiet this morning,” I said, running my hands over the bare skin of his back. I let them continue down his backside, and then I hooked my leg over his hip, kissing his cheek.
He shook his head. “I just want to be like this,” he whispered.
I frowned. “Did I miss something?”
“I didn’t mean to wake you up. Why don’t you just go back to sleep?”
I leaned back against the pillow, pulling up his chin. His eyes were bloodshot, the skin around them blotchy and red.
“What in the hell is wrong with you?” I asked, alarmed.
He put one of my hands in his and kissed it, pressing his forehead against my neck. “Just go back to sleep, Pigeon. Please?”
“Did something happen? Is it America?” With the last question, I sat up. Even seeing the fear in my eyes, his expression didn’t change. He simply sighed and sat up with me, looking at my hand in his.
“No…America’s fine. They got home around four this morning. They’re still in bed. It’s early, let’s just go back to sleep.”
Feeling my heart pounding against my chest, I knew there was no chance of falling back asleep. Travis put both hands on each side of my face and kissed me. His mouth moved differently, as if he were kissing me for the last time. He lowered me to the pillow, kissed me once more, and then rested his head on my chest, wrapping both arms tightly around me.
Every possible reason for Travis’ behavior flipped through my mind like television channels. I hugged him to me, afraid to ask. “Have you slept?”
“I…couldn’t. I didn’t wanna…,” his voice trailed off.
I kissed his forehead. “Whatever it is, we’ll get through it, okay? Why don’t you get some sleep? We’ll figure it out when you wake up.”
His head popped up and he scanned my face. I saw both mistrust and hope in his eyes. “What do you mean? That we’ll get through it?”
My eyebrows pulled in, confused. I couldn’t imagine what had happened while I was sleeping that would cause him so much anguish. “I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m here.”
“You’re here? As in you’re staying? With me?”
I knew that my expression must have been ridiculous, but my head was spinning, from both the alcohol and Travis’ bizarre questions. “Yes. I thought we discussed this last night?”
“We did,” he nodded, encouraged.
I searched the room with my eyes, thinking. His walls were no longer bare as they were when we had first met. They were now peppered with trinkets from places that we’d spent time together, and the white paint was interrupted by black frames holding pictures of me, us, Toto, and our group of friends. A larger frame of the two of us at my birthday party replaced the sombrero that once hung by a nail above his headboard.
I narrowed my eyes at him. “You thought I was going to wake up pissed at you, didn’t you? You thought I was going to leave?”
He shrugged, making a poor attempt at the indifference that used to come so easily to him. “That is what you’re famous for.”