“Me, too,” Shepley said, returning to the kitchen.
Travis walked in with a towel around his waist, holding a cold can of beer against his eye. America left the room without a word as Travis slipped on his boxers, and then he grabbed his pillow. Shepley brought four glasses this time, all full to the brim with amber liquor. We all knocked back the whiskey without hesitation.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” America said, kissing my cheek.
Travis took my glass, sitting it on the night stand. He watched me for a moment and then walked over to his closet, pulling a t-shirt off the hanger and tossing it to the bed.
“I’m sorry I’m such a fuck up,” he said, holding the beer to his eye.
“You look awful. You’re going to feel like shit tomorrow.”
He shook his head, disgusted. “Abby, you were attacked tonight. Don’t worry about me.”
“It’s hard not to when your eye is swelling shut,” I said, situating his shirt on my lap.
His jaw tensed. “It wouldn’t’ve happened if I’d just let you stay with Parker. But I knew if I asked you, you’d come. I wanted to show him that you were still mine, and then you get hurt.”
The words took me off-guard, as if I hadn’t heard him right. “That’s why you ask me to come tonight? To prove a point to Parker?”
“It was part of it,” he said, ashamed.
The blood drained from my face. For the first time since we’d met, Travis had fooled me. I had gone to Hellerton with him thinking he needed me, thinking that despite everything, we were back to where we were before. I was nothing more than a water hydrant; he had marked his territory, and I had allowed him to do it.
My eyes filled with tears. “Get out.”
“Pigeon,” he said, taking a step toward me.
“Get OUT!” I said, grabbing the glass from the night stand and throwing it at him. He ducked, and it shattered against the wall in hundreds of tiny, glistening shards. “I hate you!”
Travis heaved as if the air had been knocked out of him, and with a pained expression, he left me alone.
I yanked off my clothes and pulled the t-shirt on. The noise that burst from my throat surprised me. It had been a long time since I had sobbed uncontrollably. Within moments, America rushed into the room.
She crawled into the bed and wrapped her arms around me. She didn’t ask me questions or try to console me, she only held me as I let the tears drench the pillow case.
CHAPTER TWENTY
last dance
Just before the sun breached the horizon, America and I quietly left the apartment behind. We didn’t speak on the way to Morgan, and I was glad for the silence. I didn’t want to talk, I didn’t want to think, I just wanted to block out the last twelve hours. My body felt heavy and sore, as if I’d been in a car accident. When we walked into my room, I saw that Kara’s bed was made.
“Can I borrow your flat iron?” America asked.
“Mare, I’m fine. Go to class.”
“You’re not fine. I don’t want to leave you alone right now.”
“That’s all I want to be at the moment.”
She opened her mouth to argue, but sighed. There would be no changing my mind. “I’m coming back to check on you after class. Get some rest.”
I nodded, locking the door behind her. The bed squeaked beneath me as I fell onto it with a huff. . All along I believed that I was important to Travis; that he needed me. But in that moment, I felt like the shiny new toy Parker said I was. He wanted to prove to Parker that I was still his. His.
“I’m nobody’s,” I said to the empty room.
As the words sunk in, I was overwhelmed with the grief I’d felt from the night before. I belonged to no one.
I’d never felt so alone in my life.