“Hey. We’re not going to talk about your sister like that,” Jim warned.
My stomach sank. The only real family I’d had in years was America’s parents, and although Mark and Pam had always looked out for me with true kindness, they were borrowed. The six unruly, foul-mouthed, loveable men downstairs had welcomed me with open arms, and tomorrow I would tell them goodbye for the last time.
Travis caught the bedroom door before it closed and then froze. “Did you want me to wait in the hall while you dressed for bed?”
“I’m going to hop in the shower. I’ll just get dressed in the bathroom.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “All right. I’ll make a pallet, then.”
I nodded, making my way to the bathroom. I scrubbed myself raw in the dilapidated shower, focusing on the water stains and soap scum to fight the overwhelming dread I felt for both the night and the morning. When I returned to the bedroom, Travis dropped a pillow on the floor on his make-shift bed. He offered a weak smile before leaving me to take a turn in the shower.
I crawled into bed, pulling the covers to my chest, trying to ignore the blankets on the floor. When Travis returned, he stared at the pallet with the same sadness that I did, and then turned off the light, situating himself on his pillow.
It was quiet for a few minutes, and then I heard Travis heave a miserable sigh. “This is our last night together, isn’t it?”
I waited a moment, trying to think of the right thing to say. “I don’t wanna fight, Trav. Just go to sleep.”
Hearing him shift, I turned onto my side to look down at him, pressing my cheek into the pillow. He supported his head with his hand and stared into my eyes.
“I love you.”
I watched him for a moment. “You promised.”
“I promised this wasn’t a stunt to get back together. It wasn’t.” He reached up his hand to touch mine. “But if it meant being with you again, I can’t say I wouldn’t consider it.”
“I care about you. I don’t want you to hurt, but I should have followed my gut in the first place. It would’ve never worked.”
“You did love me, though, right?”
I pressed my lips together. “I still do.”
His eyes glossed over and he squeezed my hand. “Can I ask you for a favor?”
“I’m sort of in the middle of the last thing you asked me to do,” I smiled.
His features were taught, unaffected by my expression. “If this is really it…if you’re really done with me…will you let me hold you tonight?”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea, Trav.”
His hand gripped tight over mine. “Please? I can’t sleep knowing you’re just a foot away, and I’m never gonna get the chance again.”
I stared into his desperate eyes for a moment and then frowned. “I’m not having sex with you.”
He shook his head. “That’s not what I’m asking.”
I searched the dimly lit room with my eyes, thinking about the consequences, wondering if I could tell Travis no if he changed his mind. I shut my eyes tight and then pushed away from the edge of the bed, turning down the blanket. He crawled in bed beside me, hastily pulling me tight into his arms. His bare chest rose and fell with uneven breaths, and I cursed myself for feeling so peaceful against his skin.
“I’m going to miss this,” I said.
He kissed my hair and pulled me to him, unable to get close enough to me. He buried his face into my neck and I rested my hand on his back in comfort, although I was just as heartbroken as he was. He sucked in a breath, and pressed his forehead against my neck, pressing his fingers into the skin of my back. As miserable as we were the last night of the bet, this was much, much worse.
“I…I don’t think I can do this, Travis.”
He pulled me tighter and I felt the first tear fall from my eye down my temple. “I can’t do this,” I said, clenching my eyes shut.