“We can’t decide if we want to be Light or Dark, good or evil, like Mortals and other Casters can. In my family, there’s no free will. It’s decided for us, on our sixteenth birthday.”
I tried to understand what she was saying, but it was too crazy. I’d lived with Amma long enough to know there was White and Black magic, but it was hard to believe that Lena had no choice about which one she was.
Who she was.
She was still talking. “That’s why we can’t live with our parents.”
“What does that have to do with it?”
“It didn’t used to be that way. But when my gramma’s sister, Althea, went Dark, their mother couldn’t send Althea away. Back then, if a Caster went Dark, they were supposed to leave their home and their family, for obvious reasons. Althea’s mother thought she could help her fight it, but she couldn’t, and terrible things started happening in the town where they lived.”
“What kind of things?”
“Althea was an Evo. They’re incredibly powerful. They can influence people like Ridley can, but they can also Evolve, morph into other people, into anyone. Once she Turned, unexplained accidents started happening in town. People were injured and eventually a girl drowned. That’s when Althea’s mother finally sent her away.”
I thought we had problems in Gatlin. I couldn’t imagine a more powerful version of Ridley hanging around, full-time. “So now none of you can live with your parents?”
“Everyone decided it would be too hard for parents to turn their backs on their children if they went Dark. So ever since then, children live with other family members until they’re Claimed.”
“Then why does Ryan live with her parents?”
“Ryan is… Ryan. She’s a special case.” She shrugged. “At least, that’s what Uncle Macon says every time I ask.”
It all sounded so surreal, the idea that everyone in her family possessed supernatural powers. They looked like me, like everyone else in Gatlin, well, maybe not everyone, but they were completely different. Weren’t they? Even Ridley, hanging out in front of the Stop & Steal—none of the guys had suspected she was anything other than an incredibly hot girl, who was obviously pretty confused if she was looking for me. How did it work? How did you get to be a Caster instead of just some ordinary kid?
“Were your parents gifted?” I hated to bring up her parents. I knew what it was like to talk about your dead parent, but at this point I had to know.
“Yes. Everyone in my family is.”
“What were their gifts? Were they anything like yours?”
“I don’t know. Gramma’s never said anything. I told you, it’s like they never existed. Which just makes me think, you know.”
“What?”
“Maybe they were Dark, and I’m going to go Dark, too.”
“You’re not.”
“How do you know?”
“How can I have the same dreams you have? How do I know when I walk into a room whether or not you’ve been there?”
Ethan.
It’s true.
I touched her cheek, and said quietly, “I don’t know how I know. I just do.”
“I know you believe that, but you can’t know. I don’t even know what’s going to happen to me.”
“That’s the biggest load of crap I’ve ever heard.” It was like everything else tonight; I hadn’t meant to say it, at least not out loud, but I was glad I did.
“What?”
“All that destiny garbage. Nobody can decide what happens to you. Nobody but you.”
“Not if you’re a Duchannes, Ethan. Other Casters, they can choose, but not us, not my family. When we’re Claimed at sixteen, we become Light or Dark. There is no free will.”
I lifted her chin with my hand. “So you’re a Natural. What’s wrong with that?”
I looked into her eyes, and I knew I was going to kiss her, and I knew there was nothing to worry about, as long as we stayed together. And I believed, for that one second, we always would.
I stopped thinking about the Jackson basketball playbook and finally let her see how I felt, what was in my mind. What I was about to do, and how long it had taken me to get up the nerve to do it.
Oh.
Her eyes widened, bigger and greener, if that was even possible.
Ethan—I don’t know—
I leaned down and kissed her mouth. It tasted salty, like her tears. This time, not warmth, but electricity, shot from my mouth to my toes. I could feel tingling in my fingertips. It was like shoving a pen into an electrical outlet, which Link had dared me to do when I was eight years old. She closed her eyes and pulled me in to her, and for a minute, everything was perfect. She kissed me, her lips smiling beneath mine, and I knew she had been waiting for me, maybe just as long as I had been waiting for her. But then, as quickly as she had opened herself up to me, she shut me out. Or more accurately, pushed me back.
Ethan, we can’t do this.
Why? I thought we felt the same way about each other.
Or maybe we didn’t. Maybe she didn’t.
I was staring at her, from the end of her outstretched hands that were still resting on my chest. She could probably feel how fast my heart was beating.