Beautiful Chaos

“Amarie!” Macon called out to her, but his voice was gentle. He knew she was coming unhinged.

 

“Aunt Delilah, Uncle Abner, Aunt Ivy, Grandmamma Sulla. I’m in need a your intercession.” Amma stared up into the black sky. “You’re the blood a my blood, and I call you to help me fight the one whose threatenin’ what I love most.”

 

She was calling the Greats, trying to turn them on Macon. I felt the weight of it—her desperation, her madness, her love. But it was too tangled with the wrong things to be right. Only she couldn’t see it.

 

“They won’t come,” I whispered to Macon. “She tried to call them before, and they didn’t show.”

 

“Well, perhaps they lacked the proper motivation.” I followed Macon’s eyes up beyond the water tower, and I could see the figures looming above us in the moonlight. The Greats—Amma’s ancestors from the Otherworld. They had finally answered her.

 

Amma pointed at Macon. “He’s the one tryin’ to hurt my boy and take him outta this world. You stop him! Do what’s right!”

 

The Greats stared down at Macon, and for a second I held my breath. Sulla had strands of beads wrapped around her wrist, like a rosary from a religion all her own. Delilah and Ivy were at her sides, watching Macon.

 

But Uncle Abner was looking right at me, his eyes searching mine. They were huge and brown and full of questions. I wanted to answer them, but I wasn’t sure what he was asking.

 

He found the answers somehow, because he turned to Sulla and spoke to her in Gullah.

 

“Do what’s right!” Amma called out into the darkness.

 

The Greats looked at Amma and joined hands. Then they slowly turned their backs to her. They were doing what was right.

 

Amma let out a strangled scream and dropped to her knees. “No!”

 

The Greats were still holding hands, facing the moon, when they disappeared.

 

Macon put his hand on my shoulder. “I’ll take care of Amarie, Ethan. Whether she wants me to or not.”

 

I started walking toward the rusty metal ladder.

 

“Do you want me to come with you?” John called after me.

 

I shook my head. This was something I had to do alone. As alone as you can be, when half of your soul is trailing you everywhere you go.

 

“Ethan—” It was Macon. I held the side of the ladder. I couldn’t turn around.

 

“So long, Mr. Wate.” That was it, a handful of meaningless words. All there was left to say.

 

“You’ll take care of her for me.” It wasn’t a question.

 

“I will, son.”

 

I tightened my hands on the ladder in front of me.

 

“No! My boy!” I heard Amma screaming, and the sound of her feet kicking as Macon held her back.

 

I started climbing.

 

“Ethan Lawson Wate—” With every ragged scream, I pulled myself higher. The same thought playing over and over again, in my mind.

 

The right thing and the easy thing are never the same.

 

 

 

 

 

12.22

 

 

 

 

 

Finally

 

 

I was standing on the top of the white water tower, facing the moon. I had no shadow, and if there were any stars, I couldn’t see them. Summerville was stretched out before me, a scattering of tiny lights, all the way to the blackness of the lake.

 

This had been our happy place, mine and Lena’s. One of them, at least. But I was alone now. I wasn’t feeling happy. I wasn’t feeling anything but fear—and like I wanted to throw up.

 

I could still hear Amma screaming.

 

I knelt for a second, resting my hands on the painted metal. I looked down and saw a heart, drawn in black Sharpie. I smiled, remembering, and stood up.

 

It is time. There is no turning back now.

 

I stared out at the tiny lights, waiting to get up the courage to do the unthinkable. The dread churned in my stomach, heavy and wrong.

 

But this was right.

 

As I closed my eyes, I felt the arms slam into my waist, knocking the air out of me, dragging me down to the metal ladder. I caught a glimpse of him—of me—when my jaw hit the side of the railing, and I stumbled.

 

He was trying to stop me.

 

I tried to throw him off. I leaned forward and saw my Chucks kicking. Then I saw his Chucks kicking. They were so old and thrashed they could have been mine. This was how I remembered it from the dream. This was how it was supposed to be.

 

What are you doing?

 

This time, he was asking me.

 

I threw him against the floor, and he landed on his back. I grabbed the collar of his shirt, and he grabbed mine.

 

We looked into each other’s eyes, and he saw the truth.

 

We were both going to die. It seemed like we should be together when it happened.

 

I pulled out the old Coke bottle Amma had left sitting on the kitchen table earlier. If a whole bottle tree could catch a whole lot of lost souls, maybe one Coke bottle could hold on to mine.

 

I’ve been waiting.

 

 

 

I saw his face change.

 

His eyes widen.

 

He lunged at me.

 

I wouldn’t let go.

 

We stared into each other’s eyes and clawed at

 

each other’s throats.

 

As we rolled over the edge of the water tower and fell

 

the whole way down,

 

I was only thinking one thing

 

 

LENA

 

 

 

 

 

Nineteen Moons—