What a dick!” Calla clutched a carton of ice cream we’d found in the fridge. “Fuck guys. Seriously. Fuck them and not in a good way.”
My eyes were blurry and puffy as I watched her pace. There was a lot about Jase that Calla didn’t know and I wouldn’t tell her out of respect for his privacy. As much as he hurt me, I wasn’t about to announce to the world that he had a son and was most likely still very much in love with the mother of his child.
Because wasn’t that what this was really about? He hadn’t been ready for something serious, and I knew so very little about this girl, where she lived, if she was in some way still in the picture, or how long the two had been split. Knowing that his heart quite likely belonged to someone else made me feel all the more foolish. The first time he’d refused to talk about her should’ve been warning enough, and yet, I ignored it.
“Yeah, fuck ’em,” I whispered.
She stopped in front of me, holding out the ice cream. “More?”
I shook my head, clutching the pillow to my too full stomach.
Sighing, she plopped down next to me. “I’m so sorry, Teresa. This is the last thing you need right now—your knee, Debbie, and crazy-pants Erik.”
“I guess it could be worse,” I murmured, thinking about how I was never going to be able to sleep in that bed again. I knew it would still carry his scent and I couldn’t bear that. Run out of my dorm and my bed, I was about to become close friends with this couch.
Calla gave me a quizzical look. “I’m pretty sure you’ve eaten a shit sandwich this last week or so.”
That much was true, but Debbie still had it worse than me. At least I was alive. Closing my eyes, I rubbed my aching brow. “I don’t think I’m ever going to have sex again.”
“Join the club.” She sighed heavily. “I’ve sworn off guys.”
I peeked at her. “Completely?”
She nodded. “Yep. Life’s easier that way.”
“Do you like girls?”
“I wish.” She laughed. “I just think sex makes things complicated and messy. I mean, yeah, I talk about how hot guys are and make a ton of sexual innuendoes to the point someone probably thinks something’s wrong with me, but I’ve never had sex.”
“What?” I said in a disbelieving voice. “You’re a virgin?”
She laughed again. “Is it really that shocking? I can’t be the only twenty-one-year-old who hasn’t had sex.”
“You’re not,” I said immediately.
Straightening, she switched the carton of ice cream to her other hand. “And look at me, Teresa. I don’t look like you or Avery. I’m not thin, and I sort of look like the Joker.” She gestured at her scarred face.
My mouth dropped open. “First off, you’re not fat.”
She arched a brow.
I rolled my eyes. “And you do not look like the Joker, you dumbass. You’re really pretty.” And that part was true. Scar or not, Calla was really pretty. “I can’t believe you said that.”
Shrugging, she stood. “Enough about me and my lack of sex and whatnot; is what you told me all that Erik said to you?”
The change of subject threw me for a loop. “Yeah, that’s pretty much it.”
“Are you going to the police?”
I shook my head. “He didn’t do anything I can report. What he said really wasn’t a threat—what he said was what anyone would probably say if someone cast suspicion on them.”
“Yeah, but I don’t like what he said to you.”
“Neither do I.” I rubbed my hands across my face again.
Calla left for the kitchen, tossing the ice cream in the garbage. When she returned, she curled up beside me, remote in hand. “Let’s watch some bad TV. I’m pretty sure that cures all.”
Bad TV might cure a lot of things, but I knew it wouldn’t fix what was ailing me. I wasn’t sure what could. I’d given my body and my heart to Jase and he had handed them back.
A few things became clear by the end of the week. If the police suspected that Erik was guilty of anything other than being a shitty human being, it didn’t show. I saw him around campus and he didn’t look like a guy who had the police breathing down his neck or was about to be arrested for murder at any given second.
Maybe my suspicions were totally off the mark, but I avoided Erik at all costs, even if it meant crossing the street when I didn’t have to or turning and walking in the other direction. Even if he hadn’t hurt Debbie this time, he had in the past.
The other thing was that there was no keeping the fact that Jase and I were not together from Cam and Avery. By Friday, when I guessed neither of us showed up for lunch in the Den for the third time, they suspected something was up.
Cam cornered me when he’d come over to grab some extra clothes. I was sitting on the couch watching a marathon of Dance Moms, an open bag of Cheetos on the coffee table and two empty soda cans keeping me company.
He sat beside me, dropping his hands between his knees. “So . . . ?”