We sat on my bed, the sheet tucked under my arms as we shared the large bowl of vegetable soup. One spoon and two mouths made for an interesting in-bed experience. A bit of broth escaped down my chin, and Jase caught it with his tongue. “Hmm, how about you lie back and let me eat the rest of the soup like this?”
I laughed, feeling lighter—feeling better in spite of the fact that I was stuffy from all the tears. “That would get a bit messy.”
“But it would be fun.” He swirled the spoon around, catching the tender chunks of veggies. “More?”
Being fed seemed stupid. Unless it was a naked Jase feeding you. Then it was incredibly hot. I opened up, swallowing the broth and chewing what I could. “Thank you.”
He shrugged a tan shoulder and lifted the spoon to his own mouth. Chewing thoughtfully for a few moments, he chased after a piece of meat. “You know, I really planned on talking to you first before I got you naked.”
“But you did plan on getting me naked?” I couldn’t resist teasing him.
“Hell yeah I did.” He grinned and then popped the meat into his mouth. Lowering his lashes, he scooped up more broth. “Actually, I hoped it ended with wild, animalistic sex.” He tipped the spoon to my lips, making sure I didn’t miss a drop. “But I messed up so bad and I was expecting you to tell me to get the hell out.”
I cocked my head to the side as I wiggled closer. “Really?”
He nodded. “I know I’m damn charming, but I fucked up and I—”
Leaning over the bowl, I pressed my lips to his. With my busted lip, it didn’t make for that hot of a kiss, but he stilled like I’d reached around the bowl and grabbed a different kind of meat. “You messed up,” I said, as I rocked back. “I know. You really did, you jackass. And you hurt my feelings.”
He looked contrite. “Tess—”
“But I’m not going to sit here and hold it over your head forever. Not when I thought there was a damn good chance I was going to die yesterday. As cliché as this sounds, life is too short. I want you,” I said passionately. “Baggage and all, Jase. And I know it’s not going to be easy. I was prepared for that when I came back to you. Jack is your son, whether he realizes it or not. And it doesn’t matter if you ever tell him, he will always be your son. And if one day you decide to tell him the truth, I’ll support you in any way.”
His gaze dropped to the bowl. “Are you seriously ready for that? What if I tell him when I graduate next semester?”
My stomach dipped a little at the prospect, but that was expected. “You come with responsibility that I’m willing to be a part of. I don’t know how good I’ll be at anything that has to do with him, but I’ll try hard.”
Jase lifted his gaze, eyes wide. “You’d be perfect, Tess. He already likes you a lot and he . . . well, one day, you’d make a great mom.”
I flushed, and instead of being skeeved out by the idea of motherhood, I warmed with the compliment. “Thank you.” I took a deep breath. “And you’re really ready for this?”
“I’ve done a lot of thinking, Tess, and I am. I think I’ve been ready but didn’t want to acknowledge it. What I feel for you, it blew my mind. At first I thought it was wrong because of Cam, but when I realized that wasn’t it, that I was afraid of losing you, I knew I needed to work through it all.” He thrust a hand through the mess of hair. “And you were right. I hadn’t fully moved on. I know I need to visit her grave. I wanted to. That was what I was going to tell you.”
“When you texted me that you wanted to talk?”
He nodded again. “That wasn’t the only thing, but it was a part of it. I think by doing that, it’s like closing the door, you know? Not forgetting, but truly moving on.”
I tried not to show my shock. That was a huge step for him. Maybe not to some people, but for Jase it was a big deal. “I think that’s a great idea and if you need me there with you, I’ll be there.”
He smiled a little as he shook his head. “You . . . you are amazing, Tess.”
“No, I’m not. I just love you, Jase.”
It appeared that he stopped breathing for a moment, and then he leaned around me, sitting the bowl on the nightstand. As he settled back, he touched the bruise on my jaw lightly. “I’m not sure I deserve you.”
I closed my eyes. “I don’t like hearing you say that.”
“And I don’t like thinking it, but I can’t help feeling it.” The touch of his lips was butterfly soft. “Though I’m going to do everything to change it.” Placing his hand on my shoulder, he gently guided me down until my head rested on the pillows. He settled beside me, lying on his side as he propped his cheek up on his elbow. “I promise that.”
“I believe that.”
A soft smile appeared on his lips as he trailed his finger over my shoulder. Several quiet moments passed. “When are your parents going back home?”
“Tomorrow, I think. They wanted me to go home with them, but I’m not.” I shivered as his finger danced over my collarbone.
“What about Christmas? I know it’s a week or so away, but what’ve you got planned?”