I looked at him through the veil of my wet hair. He was pacing the length of my bathroom, his jacket shed somewhere and his shirt untucked. “Go home, Gideon.”
He halted and shot me an incredulous look. “I’m not fucking leaving you here. Cary’s lost his damned mind! That amped-up asshole was seconds away from putting his hands on you when I got here.”
“Cary wouldn’t have let that happen. But either way, I can’t deal with him and you at the same time.” I didn’t want to deal with either of them, actually. I just wanted to be alone.
“Then you’ll just deal with me.”
I scooped my hair back from my face with an impatient swipe of my hand. “Oh? I’m supposed to make you the priority?”
He recoiled as if I’d hit him. “I was under the impression we were both each other’s priorities.”
“Yeah, I thought that, too. Until tonight.”
“Jesus. Will you drop it with Corinne already?” He spread his arms wide. “I’m here with you, aren’t I? I barely said good-bye to her because I was chasing after you. Again.”
“Fuck you. Don’t do me any favors.”
Gideon lunged into the shower fully dressed. He yanked me to my feet and kissed me. Hard. His mouth devoured mine, his hands gripping my upper arms to hold me in place.
But I didn’t soften this time. I didn’t give in. Even when he tried coaxing me with lush, suggestive licks.
“Why?” he muttered, his lips sliding down to my throat. “Why are you driving me insane?”
“I don’t know what your problem is with Dr. Lucas, and I honestly don’t give a shit. But he was right. Corinne got way too much of your attention tonight. You pretty much ignored me during dinner.”
“It’s impossible for me to ignore you, Eva.” His face was hard and tight. “If you’re in the same room with me, I don’t see anyone else.”
“Funny. Every time I looked at you, you were looking at her.”
“This is stupid.” He released me and shoved the wet hair out of his face. “You know how I feel about you.”
“Do I? You want me. You need me. But do you love Corinne?”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake. No.” He shut the water off, caging me to the glass with both arms. “You want me to tell you I love you, Eva? Is that what this is about?”
My stomach cramped as if he’d struck me with the full force of his fist. I’d never felt that kind of pain before, hadn’t known it existed. My eyes burned and I ducked under his arm before I embarrassed myself by crying. “Go home, Gideon. Please.”
“I am home.” He caught me from behind and buried his face in my soaked hair. “I’m with you.”
I struggled to get free, but I was too wiped out. Physically. Emotionally. The tears came in a torrent and I couldn’t stop them. And I hated crying in front of anyone. “Go away. Please.”
“I love you, Eva. Of course I do.”
“Oh my God.” I kicked at him, flailing. Anything to get away from the person who’d become a massive source of pain and misery. “I don’t want your fucking pity. I just want you to go away.”
“I can’t. You know I can’t. Eva, stop fighting. Listen to me.”
“Everything you’re saying hurts, Gideon.”
“It’s not the right word, Eva,” he pressed on stubbornly, his lips at my ear. “That’s why I haven’t said it. It’s not the right word for you and what I feel for you.”
“Shut up. If you care about me at all, you’ll just shut up and go away.”
“I’ve been loved before—by Corinne, by other women…But what the hell do they know about me? What the hell are they in love with when they don’t know how fucked up I am? If that’s love, it’s nothing compared to what I feel for you.”