“Don’t be ridiculous, Eva.”
What else could have prompted him to bring this up after our four-day breakup? “I’m sure it doesn’t help that I’m not the type you usually go for. And we haven’t used any of those toys you had in the hotel—”
“Stop talking.”
“Excuse me?”
Gideon set his utensils down. “I’m not going to listen to you shred your self-esteem.”
“What? You’re the only one who gets to do all the talking?”
“You can pick a fight with me, Eva, but it’s still not going to get you fucked.”
“Who said—” I shut up when he glared. He was right. I still wanted him. I wanted him on top of me, explosively lustful, completely in control of both my pleasure and his.
Pushing away from the table, he said curtly, “Wait here.”
When he returned a moment later, he set a black leather ring box beside my plate and resumed his seat. The sight of it hit me like a physical blow. Fear struck me first, icy cold. Followed swiftly by a longing that was white-hot.
My hands shook in my lap. I clasped my fingers together and realized my whole body was shaking. Lost, I lifted my gaze to Gideon’s face.
The feel of his fingertips brushing down my cheek soothed much of the vibrating anxiety inside me, leaving behind the terrible yearning.
“It’s not that ring,” he murmured gently. “Not yet. You’re not ready.”
Something inside me wilted. Then relief flooded me. It was too soon. Neither of us was ready. But if I’d ever wondered how deeply I had fallen in love with Gideon, now I knew.
I nodded.
“Open it,” he said.
With cautious fingers, I pulled the box closer and thumbed open the lid. “Oh.”
Nestled inside the black leather and velvet was a ring like no other. Gold rope-like bands were intertwined and decorated with Xs covered in diamonds.
“Bonds,” I murmured, “secured by crosses.” Gideon Cross.
“Not quite. I see the ropes as representative of the many threads of you, not bondage. But yes, the Xs are me holding on to you. By my fingernails, it feels like.” He finished his glass of wine and refilled both our glasses.
I sat unmoving, stunned, trying to take it all in. Everything he’d done in the time we’d been apart—the photos, the ring, Dr. Petersen, the replicated bedroom, and whoever had been following me around—told me I’d never been far from his mind, if I’d even left it at all.
“You gave me my keys back,” I whispered, still remembering the pain.
His hand reached out and covered mine. “There are a lot of reasons why I did that. You left me wearing nothing but a robe, Eva, and without your keys. I can’t stand thinking about what could’ve happened if Cary hadn’t been home to let you in right away.”
Lifting his hand to my mouth, I kissed the back; then released him and closed the lid of the ring box. “It’s beautiful, Gideon. Thank you. It means a lot to me.”
“But you won’t wear it.” It wasn’t a question.
“After the conversation we’ve had tonight, it feels like a collar.”
After a moment, he nodded. “You’re not altogether wrong.”
My brain hurt and my heart ached. Four nights of restless sleeping didn’t help. I couldn’t understand why he felt I was so necessary, even though I felt that way about him. There were thousands of women in New York alone who could replace me in his life, but there was only one Gideon Cross.
“I feel like I’m disappointing you, Gideon. After everything we’ve talked about tonight…I feel like this is the beginning of the end.”
Pushing his chair back, he angled toward me and touched my cheek. “It’s not.”
“When do we see Dr. Petersen?”
“I’ll go alone on Tuesdays. After you talk to him and agree to couples counseling, we can go together on Thursdays.”
“Two hours of your week, every week. Not including the travel back and forth. That’s a big commitment.” I reached up and brushed the hair back from his cheek. “Thank you.”