My hips began to move in tiny circles as his words and touch reignited the desire he’d goaded with the thrusts of his cock. I wanted to come again, knew I’d be miserable if I had to wait until we reached his bed. I was a sexual creature with him, too, so physically attuned to him and so positive that he would never physically hurt me, that I was…free.
I encircled his wrist with my fingers and gently directed his hand around my hip to reach for me from behind. Nipping his jaw with my teeth, I gathered the courage he inspired in me and whispered, “Touch me here with your fingers. Mark me there.”
He froze, his chest lifting and falling rapidly. “I don’t”—his voice strengthened—“I don’t do anal play, Eva.”
Looking into his eyes, I saw something dark and volatile. Something very painful.
Of all the things for us to have in common…
The raw passion of our lust gentled into the warm familiarity of love. With my heart breaking, I confessed, “I don’t either. At least not voluntarily.”
“Then…why?” The confusion in his voice moved me deeply.
I hugged him, pressing my cheek to his shoulder and listening to the slightly panicked beat of his heart. “Because I believe your touch can erase Nathan’s.”
“Oh, Eva.” His cheek pressed to the crown of my head.
I snuggled closer. “You make me feel safe.”
We held each other for long moments. I listened to his heartbeat slow and his breathing smooth out. I inhaled deeply, relishing the mix of his personal scent mixed with the scent of hard lust and harder sex.
When the tip of his middle finger slid gossamer-soft over the pucker of my anus, I stilled and pulled back to look at him. “Gideon?”
“Why me?” he asked softly, his beautiful eyes dark and stormy. “You know I’m fucked up, Eva. You saw what I…that night you woke me…You saw, damn it. How can you trust me with your body this way?”
“I trust my heart and what it tells me.” I smoothed the frown line between his brows. “You can give my body back to me, Gideon. I believe you’re the only one who can.”
His eyes closed and his damp forehead touched mine. “Do you have a safeword, Eva?”
Startled, I pulled back again to study his face. A few members of my therapy group had talked about Dom/sub relationships. Some required total control to feel safe during sex. Others fell on the opposite side of the line, finding that bondage and humiliation satisfied their deep-seated need to feel pain to experience pleasure. For those who practiced that lifestyle, a safeword was an unambiguous way to say “stop.” But I couldn’t see how that had any relevance to me and Gideon. “Do you?”
“I don’t need one.” Between my legs, the gentle stroke of his finger became less tentative. He repeated his question, “Do you have a safeword?”
“No. I’ve never needed one. Missionary, doggy style, B.O.B…. that’s about the extent of my mad skills in the sack.”
That brought a touch of amusement to his otherwise severe face. “Thank God. I wouldn’t survive you otherwise.”
And still that fingertip massaged me, spurring a dark yearning. Gideon could do that to me, make me forget everything that happened before. I had no negative sexual triggers with him, no hesitation or fears. He’d given that to me. In return, I wanted to give him the body he’d freed from my past.
The long case clock near the door began to chime the hour.
“Gideon, we’ve been gone a long time. Someone will come looking for us.”
He put the slightest pressure against my sensitive rosette, barely pressing. “Do you really care if they do?”
My hips arched into the touch. Anticipation was making me hot all over again. “I don’t care about anything but you when you’re touching me.”
His free hand lifted to my hair and held it at the roots, keeping my head still. “Did you ever enjoy anal play? Accidentally or by deliberation?”
“No.”
“And yet you trust me enough to ask me for this.” He kissed my forehead as he drew the slickness of his semen back to my rear.
I gripped his waistband. “You don’t have to—”