“Yes, please, Manuel,” I quickly interject as rampant fear streaks through me. “Go ahead and send him up.”
My nerves crash, confounded as to why the hell Pike would come here. Never has he come here. We agreed from the start that our paths would never cross outside of Justice, so as I pace the foyer, waiting for his knock, I try to grapple with my thoughts and compose myself, all the while knowing what I must tell him.
When the knock comes, I open the door, grab his arm, and yank him inside, snapping, “What the fuck are you doing here?”
But his eyes don’t meet mine, instead they scan around the room, taking in my home of the past four years. “Holy shit,” he murmurs. “So this is where you’ve been while I’m rotting away in that shit tank?”
“Pike, what are you doing here? Are you crazy? What if Bennett was home?”
“Relax, Elizabeth. I’ve been sitting outside all morning waiting for that shit-stain to leave,” he says, walking past me and into the dining room. “So . . .” he starts, letting the word linger as he drags a finger down the length of the cherry wood dining table, “. . . where the fuck have you been for the past month?” His words scrape out in frustration.
“I-I’m sorry. I ju—”
“Cut the shit. You told me Bennett was going to be out of town this past week, yet you never once came by to see me. Why is that?”
“Pike, please,” I say on a shaky voice as chills run down my trembling arms, scared shitless with what I’m about to reveal.
“Please? What the fuck is going on with you, Elizabeth?!” he shouts, his voice booming through the open space as he slams his fist against the table. “You used to run to me the second Bennett left, you used to beg for my dick, but now, when you do finally decide to show your face, you rush out the door.”
“Why are you screaming at me?!” I yell.
“Because you’ve got a job to do and it isn’t getting done!” He walks the edge of the table and back over to me, but when he gets close, I take a step back. “Why isn’t it getting done?”
My pulse races as I stutter out the words I’ve been afraid to say to him. “B-Because . . .”
“Because why?” he hisses as he glares at me.
Swallowing hard, I force out the words, “Because I want out.”
His jaw locks and he begins a rhythmic clenching and unclenching of his hands, fisting them at his sides. He takes a moment before he breaks the silence, seething, “What do you mean you want out?”
“Pike, please don’t flip out on me,” I say, trying to keep my voice calm.
“What do you mean you want out?”
“I can’t . . . I can’t do this anymore.” My face grows hot with the tears that threaten.
“It’s Declan, isn’t it?”
“I’m so sorry, Pike. I never thought—”
“You’re nothing to him but an illusion, Elizabeth,” he says, cutting me off.
“I love him.”
My confession sparks a fury in his eyes, and when he takes another step towards me, I take another back, pissing him off.
“So, what now? You think he loves you back?”
“Yes,” I breathe.
“You’re full of shit. You have no idea what you’re saying. You’re so wrapped up in this lie that you’re buying into this false reality. But it’s false, Elizabeth. It’s not real.”
“It is.”
“It isn’t. You are not Nina. Can’t you see that?”
“And what’s Elizabeth? Huh? I mean . . . who is she really? Is she me?” I question as the levies break and the tears fall down my cheeks. “Because she doesn’t feel like me. Because she was never supposed to be me!” My words now cries, pleading cries. “She only existed because of Bennett!”
“That’s right, Elizabeth!!” he barks furiously. “Bennett! Feel that fucking hate! He’s the reason for all of this! Don’t lose sight of what he did to your life! To your father’s life!”
And my fury parallels his, except that fury is robed in a mass of sadness and desperation when I shriek, “I know! God, I know, but I can’t do it. I can’t destroy Declan like that.”
“Fuck Declan! He’s the pawn. He’s always been the pawn, and you, the queen.”
“But sometimes the queen falls.”
“Not you,” he says sternly as his hands grip my shoulders that tremor under my emotions. “I’m not gonna let you fall.”
“I already fell, Pike. I want out. I’ll finish this; I’ll divorce Bennett, and no one will ever have to know about this.”
His fingers tighten around my shoulders, painfully. “You don’t love him,” he whispers, and I hear every morsel of pain he’s trying to hide, but I can’t lie.
“I do love him,” I say under my breath, and as soon as he drops his head, he lifts it right back up. The look in his eyes turns to cold stone, and he takes a couple steps back, releasing his hands from me.
His sudden shift in demeanor rattles me as I watch him start to subtly shake his head before questioning, “Are you not telling me something?”