BROKEN AND SCREWED(Broken_Part One)

CHAPTER SEVEN

Angie collapsed in a chair beside me and groaned. She bent forward to knead her calves. “My feet and calves are so damn stiff from these heels. Tell me how much I love Justin.”
“You love Justin so much that you’re wearing that ridiculous dress for him.”
She grunted and leaned back. “Yeah, and a part of me thinks he chose this dress to make me squirm. I swear, he’s paid more attention to Marissa’s black little bitty than this poof of his dream. Ugh. Boys drive me crazy.”
I suppressed my instant frown. I hadn’t told her about Marissa and I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to in the end. She’d get mad. She’d probably throw a drink on her and then my two best friends would be at odds again. I had no idea what to do.
What Marissa did had hurt me, but I didn’t know the whole story. She might’ve been calling him about me. Cord could’ve gotten it all wrong, so I had made the decision to ask Marissa on my own, and not at the dance. Tonight was their night for fun. All of them seemed to be having fun, even Ben who gyrated and bobbed around on the dance floor with Cord and Marissa.
“I still want to know how the hell she got Cord to come back for a dance. I didn’t even think she knew him.” She narrowed her eyes as she nursed her drink. “Do you know?”
I froze.
“You do know.”
I refused to look over. I couldn’t meet her eyes. She’d see there was something wrong.
“Alex.” Angie scooted her chair closer. “Come on, tell me. I know you know. You do this weird statue thing when you’ve been caught at something. Just tell me. I won’t say anything. Is it dirty? Did they do the deed when he was a senior? That’s it, isn’t it? I knew Marissa had slept with more guys than just Gavin that year, but nooo, she swears she was only with him that year.” She snorted and slapped a hand on the table. “She’s such a little slut.”
I held my breath and counted to twenty. I had to because I wanted to spill. It took every ounce of my control to keep my lips shut. I owed Marissa the respect to give herself a fair hearing, and I owed myself to find out if my best friend had really gone behind my back for some guy.
Angie chuckled and finished her drink. “And I mean that in a good way. Only that girl could get three guys wrapped around her finger at one dance.”
“Yeah.” I sighed and then looked at my lap. Everything was burning inside of me to tell Angie, but I couldn’t. I had to stop with this debate.
“Hey, so, how’s it going with Eric tonight? He seems nice.”
A different tension filled me and I froze again.
“Uh oh.” Angie put her glass down and scooted next to me. Her leg pressed against mine. “Tell me whatever it is. I’m your best friend. It’s a sin for you not to tell me, so spill the beans, woman.”
The words spilled from my lips. “He asked me out. He said he likes me more than friends and he wants to go out on a date with me.” Then I stopped. I almost went into my dilemma about Jesse, but I hadn’t spoken about him for almost three months. It was fair if they had forgotten about him, but then I felt a pang of conscience. Was that what happened with Marissa? Had she forgotten what he was to me?
“Oooh!” Angie squealed. “Are you going to go out with him? You have to. He’s such a nice guy. Come on, Alex!”
“I don’t know.”
“You have to. Trust me, if you don’t he’s going to be scooped up by someone else. Eric is really popular. There are a lot of girls who would kill to be in your shoes. What’s the hang up?”
I hesitated. She wouldn’t like hearing what I had to say.
Then she sighed in disgust and scooted away. “Oh, my god. Really? Do not say Jesse’s name. Please do not say his name.”
I shrugged.
“OH! Alex!” She hit herself in the forehead with her hand. “I can’t believe you. I’m not saying this to be mean, but he’s long gone. He’s at Grant West. He is in a different lifestyle now. He’s hanging out with the Hollywood crowd now. I watch television, too.”
I smoothed out my dress and tried not to squirm under her intense gaze. I didn’t believe for one second that Jesse was hanging out with the Hollywood crowd. I believed that he went as a favor to his dad, but I also believed that he hadn’t gone since. Jesse hated his dad. That wasn’t known by anyone else except my family and his, but Angie said some truth. He was long gone. What made me think he’d come back for me?
So I sighed and I sat there. And I asked myself why I hadn’t jumped at the chance to date Eric Nathan. He was normal. He was here and he thought I was beautiful.
“Heya!” Marissa chirped as she and Cord took their seats across from us at the table. Ben dropped in his and grabbed some napkins to wipe his forehead. His panting had turned into wheezing. “Where’s Eric?’
Cord tapped her shoulder and pointed across the gym.
“Why is he talking to Casey Wright?”
Angie tapped my leg. “See.”
“See what?” Marissa looked between us. Her eyes were lit with anticipation. “What see? Fill me in.”
I was about to tell her that it was nothing, but Angie rushed out, “Nathan asked her out.”
Marissa gasped. She clapped her hands to her cheeks and squealed in her seat. “Oh, my god. That’s so exciting. Alex, say something. Aren’t you happy about that?”
“Uh, yeah, I guess.”
“You’re not excited about that?” She watched me closely and frowned. “Are you waiting for…?”
I saw that she was hesitant to say his name so I rushed forward with my own question. “Have you talked to him recently?”
She froze.
“What are you girls talking about?” Cord frowned. He had lounged back with his arm thrown over Marissa’s chair. He pulled his tuxedo collar out now and exchanged a look with Ben.
“Nothing,” Marissa said quickly.
Angie frowned at her.
“So have you talked to him recently?”
“Why would she have talked to him? He’s your—”
“Yes.” She shoved back her chair and stood up. Her hands held onto the table. “I called him after he left. I have no excuse for that.”
I shoved my chair back as well. My heart was starting to pick up its pace and my cheeks were warm. “What did you promise him? What were you after? Were you going to drive there if he said yes?”
Angie’s eyes had widened and she was white in the face. She stood with us, but held onto her drink with a death grip.
“Alex, I’m sorry—”
“Sorry for what? What’d you do?” I needed her to say it. I needed to hear the words.
“For…” she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “For—what do you want me to say?”
“The truth.” It ripped out of me.
She gulped. The blood drained from her face. As she started to sway on her feet, Cord jumped up and caught her elbow. “Hey, whoa. Hey. You okay?” He frowned at us and then shook his head. “I think maybe we should call it a night. There’s stuff going on between you three, but I don’t think it’s worth Marissa getting sick.”
Angie snorted. Her hand found her hip and she stuck it out.
Marissa swayed more unsteadily on her feet. She was still holding onto the table and her knuckles had grown white.
“Okay.” Cord shot us another dark look, but drew her against him. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and then draped his coat around her shoulders. “Let’s head home, huh?”
She nodded, but clung to him.
Angie glared after them. She threw back the rest of her punch and then ground up her cup into pieces. When they fell from her hand, she growled in disgust. “I can’t believe her. Really, I can’t believe her. She knew about you and him. Hell, she knew before when she was trying to go at him. Is she mentally screwed up or what? Is it her ego? Does she really have to conquer every guy out there?”
Justin came up to the table at that moment. He took one look at Angie and spun around on his heel.
She snorted after him. “That’s probably for the best. I’d unleash my anger on him and that’s all sorts of wrong.” She sighed and looked at me. “Are you okay?”
My shoulders bounced up in a careless shrug. “Whatever. I’ll deal.” But that wasn’t the truth. The truth was that it stung, a lot. Tears threatened to fall, and I swallowed a lump down my throat. I couldn’t dwell on it. That would make me think of what she’d done and inevitably that would make me think of Jesse. I was really trying to stop thinking about him.
“Hey.” Eric approached with a frown and two glasses in his hands. He handed one to me. “Justin said something was wrong.”
Angie gave him a ‘duh’ look. “And I bet he warned you to stay away.”
Eric stiffened. His eyes skirted from her to me and he gave us a sheepish look. “Uh, yeah, but I didn’t. Was that not the right thing to do?”
“No.” Angie’s hands found her hips and she turned to scan the room. “You’re doing the right thing. Where’s my boyfriend? I’ve got something different to unleash on him.”
I couldn’t hold back a grin as she winked at me when she headed out. Those two would be long gone within minutes, so I glanced at Ben.
His eyes looked ready to pop out as he was still in his chair. Beads of sweat had formed on his forehead. He lifted a handkerchief to wipe them away. I knew he’d been sweating since we got into the gym. With all the hot bodies and dancing, it was on the verge of a sauna.
“Did you have fun?”
He nodded, still speechless.
I chuckled. My hand slipped into Eric’s. “I think it’s time we call it a night.”
Eric grasped my hand. A smile lit up his face.
Ben jerked his head in a nod. His second chin wobbled from the movement and then he struggled to his feet. “I’ll see you guys. See you at work tomorrow morning.”
We watched him go. His shoulders drooped. No one said goodbye to him and he collected his coat in silence.
My heart swelled for him. In some ways, I felt like my life was similar to Ben’s, but in others I knew I was lucky to still have Angie as my friend.
Eric watched beside me. “He’s a nice guy. Junior, right?”
“He’s a senior with us.”
“He is? I don’t remember him in any of our classes.”
That was Ben’s problem. He was always there, but in the background. And before I started getting sad again, I whirled around with a bright smile. I slipped both of my arms around Eric’s waist underneath his tuxedo coat. “Are you hungry?”
Eric’s eyes darkened. His smile softened as he stared down at me. “Starving.”
“Me, too.”
My heart skipped a beat. We stared at each other for a second and I didn’t think either of us breathed. The moment was suspended in time. I didn’t know what it was or what it meant, but it felt right. I felt that everything would be okay right then and I wanted to keep feeling like that.
“Come on.” Eric’s voice dropped to a husky murmur and he led me outside with his hand in mine. As I waited by the door, he went back for our coats. I left my bag of clothes in my locker. I didn’t have the energy to leave and grab it. There was nothing in there that I needed, so I waited for him. Shivers of anticipation came over me. What did this mean?
“Here you go.” But he was back already.
My arms went behind me and he slid my coat over them. He rounded and pulled it the rest of the way and made sure that it was comfortable on me. He tucked all the corners in the right spot before he pulled me close for another hug.
It was delicious.
I closed my eyes and burrowed my head against his shoulder. He brushed back some strands of my hair. The feel of his fingers against my skin gave me a loving feeling. He touched me tenderly, so softly that I could feel the yearning from him. Or maybe that was me. Did I yearn for his touch? I never had before, but as I moved away a step and held his gaze, I was cold.
He chuckled as he took my hand again. “Come on. I thought you said you were hungry.”
“I am.”
“What do you think? Burgers? Tacos?”
“A big fat cheeseburger, please.” I felt giddy in that moment. I was breaking some rule that I didn’t know yet.
“Sounds perfect.” Eric’s smile softened again. He pulled me close and placed his arm around my shoulders as we walked to his truck. The cold air blasted me awake. I was jerked out of the fairytale reverie I’d been in. When he helped me inside and rounded the truck for his door, I paused. What were we doing?
But then he was inside and it wasn’t long before the heat warmed me and dulled my thoughts once again.
Eric was a gentleman as he drove to a fast food place and ordered us both big and juicy cheeseburgers. We shared a large fry between us. When he took me home, I experienced bittersweet emotions. I was content and satiated, but I was empty and starving at the same time. I just wasn’t sure for what or whom. And I didn’t want to think of those questions any longer.
For once, I turned my thoughts off. I basked in the warmth Eric showered on me.
When he parked outside of my home, we could tell the television was on in my living room.
“Did your parents wait up for you?” Eric frowned at me. He narrowed his eyes in concern. “I could’ve brought you back earlier. Are you in trouble?”
I almost snorted at that question. “No. I’m fine. I’m sure it’s either my dad or mom. Sometimes they have trouble sleeping.” I laughed then. “I don’t even think they realized tonight was Homecoming.”
“Are you serious?”
I waved away the concern. “Don’t worry about it. My parents are in their own world right now.” My hand slipped into his. I squeezed once. “I’m sure it’s hard for a parent to lose a child. They’ll snap out of it one of these days.”
Eric frowned, but didn’t respond.
In all honesty, if someone had told me that same thing, I would be at a loss for words. So I shrugged again and forced a happy note in my voice. “Don’t worry. My dad won’t come out here with a stern warning or anything.”
He still frowned. “Are you sure?”
“I am.” I reached forward for a hug, and because I didn’t want him to worry, I pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “Thanks, Eric.” And then I hurried out of his truck and inside. My heart was pounding. I wasn’t ready for a kiss on the lips, but I knew he’d been distracted. He had sucked in his breath. His body stiffened and I felt his hand start to curve around my waist before I slipped away.
I sighed and leaned against my door.
I could hear the sports channel in the living room, so I knew my dad was there. As I stopped in the doorway, I saw that he was asleep on the couch with a blanket at his feet.
Pain speared through me, but I pushed it down.
I held the bottom of my dress in one hand so the swishing sound wouldn’t wake him and gently pulled the blanket to cover him. As his chest rose up and down, a frown appeared on my dad’s face.
I didn’t wait around to see if he’d wake up. And I didn’t wait around to see if he was dreaming of Ethan. I did. It made sense if my parents did as well. With my heart heavier than when I’d hurried inside, I tiptoed up to my room. The moonlight streamed through my window, so I didn’t turn on the lights as I slipped out of my dress and changed into pajama shorts and a tank. After I went to the bathroom and washed up for bed, I returned and closed the door behind me again.
And then I turned around.
Jesse was on the edge of my bed. He lifted the corner of his lip. “Fun night?”
My heart stopped.
The moonlight filtered over him. His high cheekbones were illuminated from the light, along with the curve of his lips. As he stood, I could see that he’d gotten leaner, but when he drew closer to me, I knew he was also stronger.
I wet my lips. My legs started to tremble.
Then he was in front of me, within touching distance, and I could only look at his chest. His tee shirt looked soft to the touch and I ached to feel it. I ached for him. Oh god.
He smelled delicious with a light detection of his cologne. He was so close. His jeans touched the thin material of my pajama shorts. They rubbed against me before his hand lifted for my waist. As it touched me, I jumped backwards.
My throat was thick now, but I choked out, “What are you doing here?”
He bent forward. I felt his breathing against my forehead and then his lips touched me softly. One of his hands lifted and skimmed a gentle finger down the side of my face. He trailed it to my chin and tilted me up to meet his gaze.
I felt a swift kick in my stomach. It was aimed low and delivered with perfection. I didn’t know if I would recover from it.
His eyes were piercing. They sparked with promise. “I wanted to see you.”
“Why?”
His hand cupped the side of my face now and he angled it so he looked straight down at me. His eyes were dark. A molten desire was there, but blanketed. I felt it reach for me, and everything I had decided that evening melted away. His thumb started to rub back and forth over my cheek. I closed my eyes and leaned closer. I needed him.
His lips touched beside my eye, then the corner of my lips. He paused.
I gasped.
My heart raced now and I surged closer to him.
His lips touched mine.
Finally.
Then he whispered, “Your parents?”
I shook my head, but I pulled away to lock the door. After that, he tugged me down to the bed and it wasn’t long before we were naked and connected once again.
When he pushed inside, I let myself go. It might’ve been wrong, but I felt like it was right. And then he started thrusting. My hips moved to match and I stopped thinking. I could only feel. Jesse groaned in my ear and I turned to meet his lips. When I captured them, we groaned together.
I wasn’t sure how long we lay in bed afterwards. I felt replete, and he had collapsed on top of me. His head rested on my chest and I stroked his hair. I could’ve stayed there forever. With the cold wind against my window and the small clear lights around my closet, my room had a romantic feel to it. It was our corner away from the world.
When his phone lit up from the floor, both of us cursed.
Jesse grinned at me before he rolled over to check it. Then he cursed again as he sat up. “I have to go.”
“You just got here.”
He grimaced as he read more of his text. “Cord got arrested.”
“What?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know what happened. I gotta go and bail him out.”
“You’re joking.”
“I’m not.” He stood from the bed and started looking for his clothes. As a big yawn came over him, he shook his head and ran a hand over his face. “I’ve gotta wake up. I thought I’d be in bed with you all night.”
I scooted up against the headboard and gathered my comforter around me. I hugged it over my breasts. As I watched him, I felt helpless. He had to go. That was the deal. I tried to stop myself from asking the question of when he was returning. No good would come from that answer.
So I heaved a deep breath. “Someone asked me out tonight.”
Jesse stopped what he was doing. The shirt he’d been about to pull over his head fell to the side and he sat at the end of the bed. His voice was low. “Who?”
“Eric Nathan.”
“Oh.”
What did that mean? Did it mean anything at all? My chest was tight as I asked, “What are you thinking?”
He snorted and pulled his shirt over his head. His movements were rough and he jerked his shoes on.
“Jesse?”
He snapped, “What’s your problem? We screw. That’s all we do. I don’t give a shit if you’re dating my replacement.”
“Your replacement?”
He started for the door, but I hurried and got there first. I pressed my back against the door and held the handle tightly behind me.
He stopped an inch from me, but stared past my shoulders. He refused to meet my gaze. He clipped out, “Let me leave.”
“What do you mean replacement?”
His hand ran over his head in a frustrated manner. He seethed, “Come on. Let me leave.”
My heart was pounding. When wasn’t it? And then I gulped. It was calm whenever I was in his arms. I almost groaned at that thought, but rasped out, “Jesse, you don’t mean for me? Do you?”
He chuckled and shook his head. Arrogance came over him. “Nah, Alex. I meant in basketball. He was second string forward, my alternate. The dipshit never played a game last year. He’s going to tank this year.” The smirk grew ugly. “Now I’m glad I ruined that sport for him. He can’t touch my records. I’d love for him to try. And everyone’s going to hope he’ll lead them to state champs. When he won’t, they’ll hate him. I couldn’t have planned that better.”
My heart sank. Of course he hadn’t meant for me.
He reached around me, but I didn’t give him a fight. I was shifted to the side and he slipped through. When the door was going to slide to a quiet close, his hand stopped it and he poked his head around the door. “Don’t let him screw you.”
Before I could ask what exactly he meant by that, he was gone. I went to the window. It wasn’t long before I saw him dart past my window and hurry to the Ferrari parked in front of the neighbors’ house. He’d left through the back door, which meant my parents hadn’t known he was there. I shouldn’t have been surprised. They would’ve torn the door down if they had. He was the closest reminder of Ethan. No matter how far they slipped into their numbed and dazed states, I knew they’d snap out of them for him. My parents loved Jesse more than they loved me.
It was something I learned after the funeral and I was okay with it now. Hell. I loved Jesse more than myself. I couldn’t blame my parents at all.