- Fourteen -
AUDREY -
The bar is slow this afternoon so I offer to finish the shift alone if Em wants to go hang out with Jax before he has practice tonight. Not even ten minutes after I suggest it, Jax comes strolling in the door with a wide grin on his face.
“You ready, Beautiful?” he calls out to Em.
“Babe, I was going to meet you. I have my car,” she huffs.
“Let Audrey drive it. That way Lane won’t have to come get her,” he suggests.
“Do you mind, Audrey?” she asks.
“Not at all, but Lane will still come up here to make sure I get out okay. He’s...over-protective. So if you want your car, you should take it.”
“Huh, I heard Jace grumbling about that the other day,” Jax says, appearing deep in thought. “Maybe he’s got a crush on you. You’re not trying to marry another Riley brother, are you?” His tone comes off as purely joking, but I freeze and hear Em gasp.
“That was rude, babe,” Em says, while grabbing his arm and dragging him toward the door. Jax gives Em an apologetic face and begins to whisper to her on their way out. Before they exit, she turns and yells, “I’ll see you tonight! Wear something hot!”
I clutch her car keys in my hand and wonder what would have happened if Jace had been standing here. More than likely he would have headed for the hills. I hope Jax doesn’t say anything like that tonight. I never thought about him not handling it well, since there was never a reason for him to be upset about me dating someone else. I never considered the fact that he wouldn’t want his brother dating me, though it makes sense after all of my history.
Tonight will be the true test. I just can’t continue this charade any longer. It was fun at first, being sneaky and finding hidden places to rendezvous. But I want Jace all to myself now. I want to be able to hold his hand as we walk through the campus and I want other girls to know he’s off limits. I don’t think it’s crazy for me to want Jace to want the same. His brother is either going to be mad about it or not, but it all comes down to how we handle it once it’s all out there. I shouldn’t have let this go on as long as I did. I know Jace is worried about hurting Jaxon, but how long does he plan to put his life on hold based off of what his twin thinks?
Deep in thought, I begin scrubbing the bar top when a little blur runs past me and I look up to see a panic-faced Quinn. She’s looking around frantically for something or someone who’s apparently not here.
“Em. Where’s Emerson?” she breathes out in a rush.
I watch her as she paces back and forth with something clutched tightly in her grasp. Her hands are shaking and her eyes are rimmed in red. I wonder how she got here, since I have the car that she and Em usually share.
“She left early with Jax.” I come around the bar and grab her shoulders to steady her frantic movements. “Are you okay?”
“No!” she yells and then begins to sob into my shoulder.
Slowly, I rub her back and whisper, “Sit down, Quinn. You can tell me what happened or I’ll find a way to get Em back here.” She steps up to sit on a barstool and I take the one next to her.
“Her phone is off. That’s why I came here.” She sniffles loudly into my shirt.
“Quinn, I promise I won’t tell anybody and I’ll try my hardest to help. I know you want Em right now, but I just don’t like seeing you like this. Should I call Cole?”
“Oh God, no. Please, no. He’s the last person I need right now,” she whimpers.
“Oh...kay...” I say, a bit confused.
Slowly, she brings her hands up to the bar and hesitantly slides the object in her hands toward me. It takes her a full minute to open them so I can see it. When she does, I gasp in recognition. I’ve seen this before. I’ve held this in my hands before.
While I have seen this exact item in the past, I was nowhere in the same place that she is. She has people who love her and would walk on water for her. They will protect her and take care of any need she has.
“Quinn, it’ll be okay,” I say as calmly as I can.
“Cole won’t think that.”
“Guys usually don’t, but Cole will come around. Eventually, he’ll realize that the girl he loves more than anything in the world is carrying his baby. Soon, you’ll be talking about if it’s a boy or a girl.” A tear escapes from my eye and I quickly swipe it away. “He’ll start getting excited about teaching his son to play football or locking away his daughter from all the other boys.”
Quinn finally lets a laugh bubble up out of her mouth and she furiously wipes away her own tears. “It’s too early,” she whispers.
I reach my hand out and place it over her flat stomach. “He or she doesn’t think so.” She picks up the white stick that clearly has the word “PREGNANT” written on the digital screen. She gazes at it for a few more minutes, and I imagine her thinking about all the positive things this could bring her and Cole. It’s crazy and totally insane to have a child right now; we’re all so young. Our lives are just about to begin. Soon, we’re going to be shoved out into the wild and forced to survive on our own. And Cole and Quinn are about to be shoved out and required to take care of this little person.
I’m jealous. I’m absolutely jealous. I push those feelings into the back of my mind and try to ease Quinn’s fears as much as I can. Fortunately, the bar is beyond slow today, so I’m able to sit and talk with her for the rest of my shift.
As we walk out to the car, I pass her the keys. “You should drive, it’s your car. How did you get here anyway?” I ask.
“Taxi,” she laughs. “I was kind of desperate.”
“I’d say. I’m surprised Cole didn’t see you flying out the door.”
“I’ve kind of...been hiding from him today,” she states shyly.
“When do you think you’ll tell him?” I question, while sliding into the passenger side.
“Can I wait ‘til I’m in labor? That way, I’ll be in so much pain, there’s no way he can get mad,” she laughs uncomfortably. I quirk up an eyebrow at her and she quickly adds, “I know. I know. I’ll tell him soon. Just not tonight. I need a second to soak this in.”
“That’s understandable.”
“I know I was searching for Em, but I’m glad I ran into you today, Audrey. Thanks for talking me down,” she states with a smile.
“Em will freak. Prepare yourself.” I begin to cringe at the thought of our friend’s impending reaction.
“Oh, I know she will. I think I wanted someone to freak out with me. But that wouldn’t really have been helpful. This isn’t just going to go away.”
“You and Cole are going to be amazing. I’m so happy for you guys.”
“You get to be an aunt,” she exclaims. “You’ll be his or her aunt, right Audrey? I mean you’re in our little family now. You have to be.”
“I hope so...” I whisper. “We’ll see.”
“Jace will tell Jaxon, and it’ll all be okay.” She pats my knee from across the center console. “All three of them have been close their entire lives. They’re the most honorable guys I’ve ever met. Especially Jace. It’s hard for him to break a promise, but I think there’s an exception to everything. Jaxon will understand.”
I decide to get ready at her apartment with her and we don’t talk anymore about Jace or babies or the future. Although there are still some enormous elephants in the room, it’s fun to just laugh with someone and not worry about what may or may not happen in the next couple of hours.
JACE -
Max, Danny, and I decide to get to the beach early so we can help Mason hold down our regular spot for tonight. I don’t know why I’m helping out the douchebag though.
“Chill out, man. It’s not like he tried to hit on her after he found out she was yours,” Danny says to my grumbling.
“His hands were all over her. You’d feel differently if you saw your girl getting groped.”
“I touched her, you gonna hate me too? I pulled her shirt up and laid my arm across her chest. You gonna be a p-ssy toward me as well?” Max jests, making me remember Audrey’s tattoo experience all over again.
“Max...” I caution.
“You’re way too easy today, man,” he laughs, while jabbing me in the arm.
The party begins to grow as more and more people arrive with coolers in tow. Last year, Mason’s party was massive and they held it at the Sig Alpha house. Since they were expecting even more this year, they decided to hold it down here so they wouldn’t have to turn anyone away.
As the sun slowly sets, I watch Max and Danny attempt to surf the few waves we’re getting today. It’s getting dark, but I’ve seen these two surf when there’s a full moon, like there is tonight. The light of the moon will cast a glow across the water and we will be able to see the currents clearly.
I wish Jaxon was here now so we can get this over with, but the football team is practicing late again. They were three points shy of losing the game last week due to turnovers, so Coach has been drilling them hard all week. Which means I should probably keep an eye on Em and Quinn, in addition to Audrey.
I’ve parked myself down in the sand by the fire pit with a clear view of the parking lot. It’s the perfect spot to catch the first glimpse of Quinn, Em, and Audrey coming down the hill toward us. All of the girls here are in bikinis, but I didn’t really put two and two together that Audrey would wear one as well. Sure enough, I can tell that underneath that halter top she has on, she’s wearing a light-blue suit. My mouth is already drooling at the thought of what she looks like in it, while my eyes are scanning the area for anyone else who might be checking her out.
“Hey, Jace!” Em calls out excitedly to me.
“Hey girls,” I return. “Hey, babe,” I say, while looking directly at the only girl who has been able to fully capture my attention. “You look amazing,” I quietly express.
“Hi,” she softly replies. An easy smile hits her lips and all I want to do is pull her down on to my lap. Instead, I pat the ground next to me, but before she can make her way over, Max and Danny run up with surfboards in hand and dripping wet.
“What’s up, ladies,” Danny interrupts, giving each one a ridiculous wink.
“Come out with us,” Max says. “It’s amazing out there at night.”
“I can’t,” Quinn quickly replies.
“Jaxon would flip,” Em says and shrugs her shoulder.
“Um...” Audrey nervously shifts from one foot to the other and glances at me quickly before turning back to them. “I think I’m good here.”
“Come on, no one’s stopping you,” Max pleads, like the douchebag he is.
A few others join the group to talk to us, and Max is still looking at Audrey while she looks everywhere else.
Em looks down at me, then turns to Audrey and says, “You should go.”
“Yeah, the whole way here you were talking about getting in the water,” Quinn urges.
“No really, I’m good. I’m sure the water is freezing and I just...shouldn’t,” Audrey states.
“Not a good reason, babe.” With that, Max crouches down and throws Audrey over his shoulder. He has his surfboard in his opposite arm and he walks out toward the water without looking back.
As I watch his hands touch her skin, my blood begins to boil. I jump to my feet and shout, “Put her the f*ck down!”
Max spins around with Audrey’s ass in the air and says, “And why’s that?” The cocky bastard is trying to push all of my buttons. If it had just been our little group, I would have said it. If Jaxon were here, I would have shouted it from the rooftops. In this moment, I want to yell to everyone here that she’s off limits. But Jaxon’s not here and there are too many observers that would get the news to him in less than five minutes.
I stand there breathing harshly, with everyone looking at me with confused expressions. All I can think about is the fact that Max still has his hand on the back of my girl’s thighs. He must have decided that I’m taking too long because, with an annoying laugh, he turns around and heads toward the surf again.
When he begins walking into the water, I hear Audrey shout something at him and then he slowly lowers her back to her feet. She steps out of the water quickly and back onto the sand. My heart rate increases, thinking she’s coming back up here to me. I don’t deserve for her to come back, but I’m vibrating with need.
She steps away from the tide and my mouth drops open when she begins to take off her shorts and halter-top. What’s left behind is mouth-watering. Her long legs are on full display under the light-blue bikini. Her porcelain skin glows in the moonlight, and I’d be an idiot to think that every other guy here isn’t thinking the same damn thing.
Timidly, she steps back into the ice cold water of the Pacific, standing on her tiptoes. I know how cold that bitch is. Although the water on this coast rarely heats to a warm temperature, it doesn’t seem to stop people like Max and Danny. Max is straddling his board in the water, calling for her to move faster. She shakes her head back and forth, lifting her legs out of the water with each step. Slowly, he starts to paddle his arms back over toward her.
When I realize she isn’t coming back anytime soon, I drop back down in the sand to watch them. I hear people sitting down around me and I sigh when I realize that one of them is Lane. Em and Quinn join me on the opposite side.
“Go ahead, dude. Lay into me,” I breathe out in a defeated tone.
Lane chuckles and says, “I think this is torture enough for you.”
We all watch as Max reaches Audrey’s side with a huge grin on his face. He’s having way too much damn fun out there. He stretches out for her hand and she glances back to the beach. At us. At me. A short beat later, she turns to look back at him and he pulls her onto his board to straddle it in front of him.
“She wanted you to say something.” Em’s brilliant observation rubs me the wrong way.
“No f*cking kidding?” I grumble back.
“Watch it...” Lane warns. Why is he being protective over her now?
“I was going to say something. Shit, if Jax had been here, I would have. But I don’t need the gossip crew to get to him first. He needs to hear it from me.” I pull my knees up and put my head in my hands. “Why the hell has this been so hard for me to tell him?”
“Because you don’t want to hurt your brother, Jace,” Quinn says. I always knew she was my favorite. “Plus, Em hasn’t been sharing well lately,” she giggles.
“I get it, I get it! I promise, I’ll let him out to play more often,” Em cries, throwing her hands up in mock defeat. “Jace, you know he’ll understand,” she adds.
Max tries to lay Audrey’s back up against his chest, but she slips out of it and turns to face him. Good girl. The two look at each other while straddling the board and talk as if they are old friends. The girls beside me giggle on about all of the places Em and Jaxon have been sneaking off to, while Lane and I glare out at the water.
“Do you love her?” Lane asks out of the blue. If I hadn’t already been sitting down, his question would have knocked me clear on my ass. I continue staring forward. “Okay, new question. Who was your last girlfriend?”
“Uh...Mandy,” I reply.
“No it wasn’t. Mandy was before Claire,” Quinn chimes in.
“Whatever, same difference. They were back-to-back,” I say in a clipped tone.
“Hey, remember when Tatum was trying to rub her huge rack on your arm earlier tonight? What color was her shirt?” Lane asks.
“Tatum was trying to do what on my arm?” I am completely confused by his line of questioning.
While nodding his head, he continues, “You know when Audrey does that nasty ankle popping thing?”
“Nasty? Dude, have you ever looked at her face when she’s doing that? It’s f*cking adorable,” I laugh.
“And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. The man is hooked,” Lane bellows out mockingly while clapping and whistling.
“Huh?” I reply. With wide eyes, I turn to frown at Quinn and Em, who are laughing their asses off.
“You’re totally in love with her!” Em laughs.
“Dude, you’re already forgetting about your exes, you don’t even notice when a hot chick, annoying or not, rubs her tits on your freakin’ arm. I’m gonna need your man card back for that one, by the way.” He gestures with an open palm toward me. “And to top it off, you find Audrey’s irritating quirks adorable. Besides crazy, there ain’t any other word for it. You’re in love,” Lane states, matter-of-fact. He pounds me on the back and grips my shoulder tightly. “Oh, and by the way, you break her heart, I’ll break your neck. Welcome to the family, bro! Can’t get rid of me now,” he says in an annoyingly cheerful voice, all while I’m stunned to silence.
I’ve always wondered why guys go on the defensive when they’re told this piece of news about themselves. If you feel it, own up to it! But I’m starting to realize the weight this kind of information can have on someone. No one wants to be surprised with the fact that they are now completely vulnerable to another person. Now, whether you like it or not, you have to trust that this person won’t hand you your heart back in a million tiny abused pieces.
I’ve always wanted to be here. I’ve watched my two best friends arrive at this very moment, the one where they realize that the girl they’re with is the one. But now that I’m here, can I handle it? Can I hand myself over, raw and unguarded? But if I don’t give my heart to Audrey, would there ever be anybody else worth it? Hell no.
Quickly, I scramble up to my feet, grab Danny’s discarded board, and head out to the chilly ocean. I remove my shirt along the way, leaving my black shorts on. Quinn, Em, and Lane clap, hoot, and holler behind me excitedly, but I leave all thoughts of them behind in the damn sand.
I have to get this off of my chest now. Audrey isn’t the type of girl to wait around for anyone; she’s strong and she makes her own happiness. If she wants a bouquet of roses, she’s sure as hell not going to wait for me to give it to her. She’ll go out and plant her own f*cking garden.
The patience and tolerance she’s shown by waiting for me to tell Jaxon has been astounding. She hasn’t complained once, and I have no doubt that most girls would have nagged me daily. Although sometimes I was so caught up in her that I honestly forgot about telling Jax, and maybe if she had nagged a little bit we wouldn’t be here right now.
Walking across the sand, I watch her floating on Max’s board with her head thrown back in laughter. I know she didn’t come out here to make me jealous, that’s just not how she is. She came to this party to have fun and she wasn’t going to wait for her p-ssy boyfriend to man up. She went out and had her own fun. Damn it, it’s true. I do love this girl.
When I hit the water, I cringe at the subzero temperature. I jump under the waves to get the initial shock over with and swim with the board toward my girl. She and Max have drifted down shore a bit and Max is currently in the water, slowly kicking them back to where they started. Audrey has her feet on the board and she’s hugging her knees while listening to him talk.
I feel uneasy about him taking her out into the water at night. I’ve heard that even the strongest swimmers can get thrown off by where the coast is and they can’t see how far out they’ve gone. But Max is only a couple feet out and I can still touch the bottom. He spots me before she does and the a*shole smiles and nods his head in my direction. Audrey slowly turns, a curious look on her face, but when she see that it’s me coming for her, her mouth drops open in a wide gape.
“Babe, you’ve gotta be freezing,” I say when I reach them.
“It’s not that bad, pansy,” Max jests. “Just take my board, she’s already on it.”
“Thanks, man,” I say, while switching over to the board Audrey is perched on top of. After I pass Danny’s board to Max, I loop the leash around my wrist and secure it so I can’t lose the board.
“We’ll draw up that tattoo here pretty soon. I’ll catch ya later, babe.” He winks at her and quickly moves toward the shore before I can punch him for calling her ‘babe’ again.
“Another tattoo?” I eye her questioningly. Then, I lift my body up onto the board and she clenches the sides tightly to balance herself.
She shrugs her shoulders at my question and sheepishly replies, “I just wanted a little one right along here.” I watch as she drags her finger lengthways on the collarbone of her left shoulder.
Slowly, I lean forward and kiss the line she just drew. “Mmm, I like it here,” my voice vibrates into her skin.
“Jace...” she whispers breathlessly.
I lean back and look into her eyes. I’m f*cking scared to death to tell her what I need to say. There’s so much that could go wrong here. If she doesn’t say it back, how will I handle that? Jax went months telling Em he loved her before she could say it in return. I never heard him complain, but I think the bastard was just thankful she agreed to date him exclusively.
With Audrey, it’s different. She doesn’t hold back her feelings. If she isn’t able to reciprocate what I’m saying, it’s because she truly doesn’t feel it and that just sounds painful. My eyes search her face for the answer. I feel like it’s written clear as day all over her gorgeous features, but maybe I’m misinterpreting what I see.
“Audrey, I need you to say it.”
“Say what?” she asks slowly.
“Say what’s written all over your face. Say what’s on your fingers every time you touch me. Say what’s in your eyes every morning that we wake up together. Say what your body feels every time I’m inside of you. Please...just say it.” My voice is barely above a whisper, but judging by the expression on her face, she heard every word I said.
Her head begins to shake back and forth and an emotion I’m not familiar with engulfs her eyes. My heart plummets because this is exactly what I was afraid of. I’ve already come this far though to go back now.
“No, Audrey,” I say, a bit too harsh. “You love me. I know you do. I may have gone about this whole relationship all wrong with you and I know my life seems to be pulling me in a thousand different directions, but I know, with everything I have, that you feel it.” I reach my hand out and cover her heart, feeling the rapid thumping. “Baby, I love you too.”
Her eyes widen and she quickly looks back and forth between the people on the shore and me. Emotions are flying across her face but no words are coming out her mouth.
I grab her chin gently and look into her golden brown eyes. “Focus on me, babe. Forget them.” I reach out and squeeze her upper arm three times and with each squeeze, I say the words, “I. Love. You.”
That must have been all she needed because before I can steady myself, she launches her body across the board into my chest. Together, we crash into the water while holding on to one another tightly. Fortunately, we haven’t drifted too far out because I can still stand in this depth.
She squeezes me with all of her strength, wrapping her arms around my neck and burying her head into the nook of my shoulder. I tuck her legs around my waist and laugh at her reaction.
“Okay, now I’m really confused,” I say into her ear. Audrey pulls back from her death grip and looks me in the eyes. Her smile steals the breath from my chest and I want to freeze this moment. No going forward, no going back. I want to stay right in this moment forever with her.
Her teeth begin to chatter from the cold so with her clinging to my body, I slowly walk us back to the shore. Thankfully, the board is still attached to my wrist or I’d have to go hunt it down. I step out of the water while holding her up. I don’t have to work too hard because she’s clinging to me as if I’m planning on going somewhere without her. I drag the board further up the beach so it can’t get washed away with the incoming tide and release the leash from my wrist.
With my hands holding her ass, I sit down in the sand with her on my lap. The second I hit the ground, her lips slam against mine in a hungry kiss. I grab hold of her head and intensely return the ravishing. She lets a moan slip from deep inside and I eagerly search her mouth with my tongue.
We sink farther and farther until I’m lying on my back in the sand and she’s perched on top of me. She pushes up, her hands on my chest, and I love seeing her breathing erratically with so much lust in her eyes. The full moon glowing behind her creates a halo effect, perfectly showcasing my angel.
“God, you’re beautiful,” I whisper. “I love you so much.” My hands are still wrapped up in her hair and slowly I move them up to her scalp, so I can pull her back down to me.
She tugs back from my movement and whispers uncertainly, “You’re the second person to ever tell me that.”
Quickly, I flip her over on to her back and glare into her eyes. “Who the hell was the first? You’re definitely the first girl I’ve ever said that to.”
My stomach clenches. I don’t know why it bothers me that she’s already been in love before but it does. We’ve talked about our past relationships, pretty much every single one of them, and I sure as hell don’t remember her saying she loved any of those bastards. I hover over her, waiting for her answer.
She eyes me with nervousness and a little confusion. “Lane was the first.”
We both stare at each other, trying to figure out what the other is thinking. Then it clicks, and I dread the question I need to ask. “Wait, are you talking about all kinds of love? You mean, even when you were a kid, no one told you they loved you?”
“Who would have done it?” she asks with an almost childlike-innocence.
I’m struck speechless, because even after all of our late-night talks about our childhoods, I never put it together that no one loved this girl. The selfish part of me wonders if she’d had a different childhood, would she be here in my arms right now? But a bigger part of me would rather her have grown up feeling the love she deserved.
“You deserved it, baby. Just know that. You deserved someone to love you every single day,” I say, while cupping her face. She stares deep into my eyes and I can see her searching for the words to say.
I try to let her off the hook and say the first thing that comes to mind. “You know, I watched Jax tell Em he loved her for months, never hearing a reply. I used to wonder how hard that was on him. How painful that must be. But now I understand that when you love someone, as much as you would kill to hear it back, you also just want them to know. I’ll give you all the time you need, babe. I just need you to know how I feel about you,” I say. And it’s true. I don’t feel pain or anger about not hearing it back. Just relief to finally have that out in the open.
Quickly, she pulls the back of my head toward her and says, “I don’t need time, Jace. I’ve been crazy about you since the day you picked me up off the sidewalk. I think I’ve loved you since you gave me my penny.” I watch as she clutches the copper coin dangling from her neck. “I love you too...so much.”
The words are a choked bubble in my throat so I mouth them to her while squeezing her. I love you.
She looks down at my hand that keeps gripping her arm. “You’ve done this three-squeeze-thing before. I remember you did it that night we hooked up in Texas. You also did it that night out on the beach when I told you and Jaxon what happened to me. What does it mean?”
“First of all, stop calling what we did a ‘hook-up,’ it sounds too fleeting. Second of all, I honestly don’t know where it came from. I just had all of these emotions toward you that I didn’t know how to convey out loud. I guess it means I.” Squeeze. “Love.” Squeeze. “You.” Squeeze.
“I’m not sure what I did to deserve you,” she whispers.
“That’s funny because I’ve been wondering the same thing about myself.”
She still has my face in between her soft hands but I push forward to capture her lips. My hands slowly graze down her body, and when I feel more skin than clothing, I remember where we are. Out in public. Audrey is still wearing her skimpy bikini and I’m sure as hell tired of the admiring eyes.
Still holding her, I quickly stand up before setting her down on her bare feet. She whimpers when our lips part and I smirk at her eagerness.
“Soon, babe,” I whisper on her lips. “But for now, you need clothes and I need to have that talk with my brother.”
“My suit is still wet, I can’t put my clothes on now,” she replies.
We help each other dust the sand off of one another’s backs. When I’m extra thorough wiping off her perfect ass, she giggles and shoves me away.
“If you’re not putting any clothes on, then neither will I,” I declare. Her eyes quickly scan my wet body, licking a trail of heat from my head to my toes. “I mean...you’re practically naked. It’s only fair...”
Slowly, I start to undo the top button of my shorts and her eyes widen. When I pull my zipper slowly down, her hand moves but she doesn’t stop me or say anything. I hook my thumbs underneath my waistband and begin to drag my shorts deliberately down my hips. I wait for the moment she realizes I’m going commando and that moment does not disappoint.
“JACE!” she gasps with bulging eyes, reaching for my waistband. Quickly, she pulls them back to my hips, and then hurriedly re-hooks the button and yanks the zipper back into place. “You win! You win! I’ll go grab my clothes.”
I throw my head back laughing and smack her ass to get her moving. “Hurry. I’ll meet you back at the fire pits.”
She starts slowly running away and turns back to holler, “Love you!”
I smile like a damn Cheshire cat and call back, “Love you more.”