Awakening Book One of the Trust Series

chapter 8

Garrett returned with Caitlyn from yet another training. Her technique was exceptional, almost flawless. In a matter of weeks, she had learned to master not only mind blocking and levitation, but she has also been handling telekinesis and rudimentary healing techniques. She was well advanced of where she ought to have been. In a matter of weeks, she would easily be able to pass the Threshold. Truth was, she would be able to pass it now.

Garrett was proud of his student. Her accomplishments were certainly gathering the both of them recognition, and recognition was the one thing he preferred to stay away from for now. The quicker they finished her training, the quicker he would be asked to go back to becoming an Inquisitor. It’s not that he minded the job, but he simply wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready to leave her.

Caitlyn had an amazing capacity to begin looking at her abilities in unexpected ways. He was pleased that she was not limiting herself, as was the issue with most students. The Cine Tofa was big on training their Actuals to think outside the box, something that Garrett thought should have been implemented years ago with the Trust and set them to a distinct disadvantage.

Garrett wanted to hone her skills and have her take advantage of that natural instinct. He had another meeting with Councilman Riley to discuss the next steps to be taken with Caitlyn. The Councilman was impressed as always with her advancement and wanted her to take the Threshold as soon as possible. It was something that Garrett would need to discuss with Caitlyn; the Threshold should only be taken when one was ready, and even though today had proven yet again that she was close to being prepared, he did not want to rush his student into anything.

More so, he was not sure himself if he was ready to lose her mentorship so quickly. He would always be her mentor, but the day to day contact would be limited as the Trust would without doubt want to evaluate her and use her as they best saw fit. He already knew what they wanted from him.

As they left the car and Garrett walked Caitlyn to the front door as was customary for them, he was surprised to find Trish waiting by the door as if anticipating their arrival. She gave a meaningful glance at Garrett before turning her attentions to Caitlyn.

“I’ve got some bad news for Caitlyn. Can you stay? She is going to need someone.”

Garrett knew that this was not going to be pretty. “Yes, of course I can.”

Trish rubbed her hands nervously. Caitlyn, oblivious to the internal conversation between them, waved in greeting as she approached the concierge. Garrett knew that Trish was a mother hen and took Caitlyn especially under her wing. He was grateful for that. Trish was a valuable person to have in your corner if needed. She may look all motherly on the outside, but she was a fearsome thing if one ever crossed her path.

She led Caitlyn to the porch swing. “Sweetheart, I have got some bad news.”

Caitlyn’s voice constricted just the slightest. “What is it, Trish?”

“Honey, we found out that your sister, well, she passed away today.” Caitlyn stared at her for a full minute without saying a word. “Sugar, did you hear me?”

Garrett could not believe how quickly Caitlyn’s eyes went dead before him. She stood, her movements at best mechanical. “I heard you. I just I can’t believe that.”

“Sweetie, it’s true.”

He was sure that Caitlyn’s accusing gaze pierced through her. “How would you know? Why would you know? There would be no reason for the Trust to be privy to that information.”

Trish touched her arm. “We make it our business to know. All students need instruction and caring. We pay attention to things such as their families and friends to help prevent any distractions. Especially with one as special as yourself.”

Caitlyn shrugged her off, a bitter laugh escaping her lips. “As special as myself. If you really knew me, you would have discovered that I was nothing special. Nothing special at all.”

“We disagree.”

Garrett could not help but be shocked at Caitlyn’s reaction. Before meeting Caitlyn the first time, he had completed his research of her family and background as required by the Trust. Caitlyn’s life had been fairly normal until her mid teenage years. When her mother died, everything was fine until she turned rebellious for a year or so before settling down and becoming an A student. Her sister had been struck by a car, which Garrett had assumed had acted as a catalyst for Caitlyn’s better performance. But he couldn’t account for this sudden behavior; the coldness was something that he would not have anticipated. She was normally so warm, a feature that he had come to cherish.

He asked the next question when it became apparent Caitlyn was not going to continue the conversation further. “How did she pass away?”

Caitlyn stared out of the porch to the field. Her jaw clenched, and Garrett knew she was listening. Trish glanced quickly at Caitlyn and then to him, clearly concerned from her reaction.

“From our report, she had a blood clot that dislodged itself. She died this morning at ten am.”

“Any word on funeral arrangements?”

“Our sources say it is being planned for Tuesday. I’ve already set up flight arrangements for Caitlyn and you to be there on Monday. The flight is open ended, so you can return whenever you are ready to.”

Garrett glanced at the concierge. “Thank you.”

Trish nodded in acknowledgement, frowning worriedly at Caitlyn before turning back into the house to resume what tasks she had been working on before.

Quietly, without saying another word, Garrett walked over to Caitlyn and reached out from behind her, wrapping his arms around her to offer some kind of solace. She did not acknowledge his action, instead choosing to stare ahead, looking out into the nothingness of the night. Her tears were silent; the only evidence of them at all was the moisture he felt on his arms as they fell. Still, Garrett held on, knowing that she should not be alone in this moment.

“It will be okay.”

She did not move. “Nothing will ever be okay again.”

“You say that now, but it will be.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“I am going to go back with you.” It was not a request. It was a fact. His heart ached at her loss. He wanted, no, he needed to go back with her and be there in her time of need.

She did not say another word the rest of the evening. The next several days would be a challenge for the both of them to get through. Not only would she be in a tremendous amount of grief, but also he recognized that it was a fine line he was going to need to walk. His job was to be there as her mentor, her friend. But it was his continually evolving feelings towards her that might prevent that, and he had to assure he did not try anything inappropriate that she would regret in her compromised emotional state.

The next morning it did not surprise him when Trish advised that Caitlyn was staying in her room and was not coming out. After two days, he was beginning to believe that he would need to force her out physically to attend the funeral. When he had pulled up to the house, he was very relieved to see her standing there on the porch with her suitcases, ready to fly home.

****

Garrett quietly observed Caitlyn as she stood in her black dress, with a black umbrella, trying to protect herself from the drizzle that was coming down a bit stronger than the weatherman had called for. She stared ahead at the casket in front of her, not moving an inch as the pastor said some comforting words about death and the afterlife.

A cold hard man stood beside her, which he presumed was her father. Garrett could see that maybe at one point in his life her father had been a happy man, but the past ten years had clearly taken a toll on him, leaving him obviously bitter and angry. Throughout the entire service, Walter Young never once even glanced at his daughter to make sure she was alright.

So Garrett stood off to the side, watching what remained of her family dynamic unfold. As the casket was being lowered into the ground, some of her cousins stopped by to speak to her father

He was amazed that they did not attempt to talk to Caitlyn at all, instead pretending as if she was merely not there.

It was no wonder Caitlyn carried all this guilt the entire time over her sister if this was how her family treated her. It angered him to know they treated such a good person like that.

When the cousins finally walked away, leaving just the tiny immediate family behind at the casket, Garrett walked slowly up to Caitlyn, his eyes reaching her sad ones.

“I’m so sorry for your loss, Caitlyn.”

Caitlyn nodded, her eyes pleading. He had hoped that the emotional wall she had so effectively put up would come down. “Don’t leave. Please.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Her father stole a glance at the casket that now lay in the ground before turning briefly to his still living daughter. At first, Garrett thought that he might open up to her, but it was quickly apparent that he would say nothing. Still, Caitlyn took it as her sole opportunity to talk to him.

“Dad…”

Mr. Young did not respond. Caitlyn pressed further. “Dad… Dad, I am so sorry. So incredibly sorry for what happened.”

Her father stared as though looking right through her, barely acknowledging her presence.

“Dad, please talk to me!” Caitlyn’s voice took on a frantic edge.

Her father’s response was pure ice, his voice devoid of any emotion. “I told you on your eighteenth birthday and I’ll say it one last time. I am not your father. As far as I am concerned, my two daughters died the day of Hanna’s car accident.”

Garrett would like to think that a father could not be so cruel to a child, but he knew better. Her father twisted the emotional knife he had plunged into her. “You killed her. Her death lies squarely on your shoulders. She would still be alive if it was not for you. Perhaps she would have been married, in school, or even a mother herself. Hanna will never get that opportunity. If I never see you again, it will be too soon. Goodbye, Caitlyn.”

Caitlyn recoiled at the words he spoke. The strong woman Garrett had known disappeared, and an unsure child, desperately seeking acceptance took her place. Caitlyn’s only response was to nod meekly, as she turned to walk away.

Garrett wanted to punch her father, make him pay for the way that his words impacted her. After a quick glare, he walked after Caitlyn. She started slowly, her steps even and long.

“Wait up.”

She ignored Garrett, instead choosing to pick up her pace, stumbling over nothing, unsure of her destination.

“Caitlyn, please wait up!”

By this point, she was practically running, making it to the other edge of the graveyard, her father barely visible to even the eye of an Actual. When her feet finally hit the pavement, her body gave out from the stress of the past few days, her knees scraping against the harsh gravel, with large sobs falling from her lips.

Garrett caught her in his arms, letting her cry. His heart broke for her. He rubbed her back slowly with his hands, in an effort to comfort her. After five minutes, her sobs began to slow down, her body taking deep breaths trying to calm itself down. “Shhh…It will be alright. I am sure he did not mean it.”

He hated that he told her that lie.

“He meant every word, Garrett. Every damn word.”

“Caitlyn, tell me what happened.” There was obviously more to the story than what was on police reports and newspaper articles. Garrett was desperate to alleviate some of her guilt.

“I can’t. I failed her in so many ways. That should have been me.”

He should have asked her days ago what happened. This was not the ideal time at all. Still he pressed further. “Caitlyn, you need to let this out. Do you trust me?”

Her voice sounded raw as she spoke out loud. “Read me. It’s okay. I give you permission. I can’t… I can’t say what I did out loud.”

Garrett hugged her one last time before focusing on her. The images came easily, without much coercion since they were in the very forefront of her thoughts.

There were the memories of her mother dying from cancer, turning from a strong willed woman into a shell of her former self. Garrett felt the anguish and frustration of Caitlyn as she watched her mother pass away and there was nothing that she could do to stop it.

He witnessed her father handing over the day-to-day responsibilities of the household to Caitlyn at the tender age of sixteen, until she finally rebelled from the stress of it all and began to skip classes and hang out with the wrong crowd.

The day of Hanna’s accident was the most vivid. Caitlyn was supposed to pick her little sister up from her dance class and had forgotten, her friends convincing her to hang out with them behind the school. He watched as Caitlyn practiced her best apologetic speech as she sped along in her beat up compact car, being well over forty-five minutes late.

It wasn’t long until she came upon the flashing lights.

Hanna had grown tired of waiting to be picked up and decided to walk home. The weather was miserable, cloudy and rainy, and the driver of the car that hit her sister never saw her until it was too late. Caitlyn sat on the ground, her pants soaking through the wet grass, as the paramedics treated the pre-teen as best they could before loading her into the ambulance. Caitlyn sat there, repeating a mantra to herself that Hanna, the only bright spot in her now dreary life, would be fine.

However, she was not fine and life as Caitlyn knew it came to a screeching halt. Hanna never woke up, the past eight years laying in comatose state, her father refusing to let go and pull the plug. His only outlet for the grief was to blame his eldest daughter for his favorite child being stuck in a coma and come her eighteenth birthday, Garrett observed with anger that he unceremoniously kicked her out of the house, advising her never to return.

He felt her loneliness, desperation, but most of all, her determination to make amends for her mother and sister.

Caitlyn’s eyes were red and swollen from the fresh tears. “If I had been a faster learner…”

Garrett pushed her away from him just slightly. “What are you talking about, Caitlyn? You are exceptional.”

She shook her head. “No. No, I am not. I should have been able to heal her. If I had learned faster, if I was more disciplined, I could have learned what I needed to heal her.”

Garrett’s finger tilted her head up. “Healers cannot fix everything, Caitlyn. Even the strongest Healers have limited abilities.”

“But I would have learned.”

Garrett smiled at her earnest response. If anyone would have, it would have been her. He had never met anyone so eager before.

She took a deep breath, this time opting to speak out loud. “I was not as dedicated as I needed to be. I should have focused more.”

“Caitlyn, you do not need to focus more. You are already learning at a highly accelerated rate. You could not have done anything to stop this.” Garrett held her at arm’s length and looked in her eyes. “Don’t you understand? Even if you were the strongest healer in the Trust, you could not have reversed the damage. Our healing does not work that way.”

“How do you know, Garrett?”

“I just know. I’ve met many of our healers, Caitlyn.”

“But you don’t know how to heal well so you can’t be positive.”

In truth, Garrett did not know how to heal very well. It was a specialty he was never very interested in. He had always been interested in mind techniques, while others, for some reason tended to have special skills in healing and they naturally gravitated towards that.

In that moment, he wished he knew how to heal her broken spirit. Caitlyn appeared worn down and weak when she was anything but. His body was telling him to kiss her and make sure she knew everything was alright and that she was cared for. He knew what he wanted to do, but even if he were sure she would return his affections, now was not the time to take advantage of that. So Garrett instead pulled her back to him and held her tight.

“I know the basics that I’ve been teaching you. If you still want to pursue it in more depth after the Threshold, I’m sure that we can get a specialist. But Caitlyn…before all of that, before the Threshold, there is something you need to do for me.”

“What?”

Garrett stated simply, “You need to grieve. Your sister is dead. Nothing you learn, no matter how fast or how well, will change that. She is gone.”

Caitlyn stiffened in his embrace. This is not what she wanted to hear, but what she needed to. He continued. “I know you blame yourself for what happened all those years ago, but it is not your fault.”

Caitlyn yanked out of his arms. “How can you say it is not my fault? I should have picked her up that night!”

Garrett sighed loudly. “Yes, you were supposed to. But you didn’t. Your sister also should have tried to call you or tried to get a ride off of someone else. She did not need to walk home, especially in bad weather. I know your father has blamed you for this and I know you have blamed yourself all these years. You need to let this go, let it all go. Forgive yourself.”

“I can’t let go.”

“You must.” The rain began to pick up in intensity, their clothes already quite soaked. Despite that, Garrett grabbed her hand, preventing her from leaving and led her closer to the burial site. “Look around you Caitlyn. Your father is gone. This is your opportunity. Go to Hanna’s grave and make your amends with your sister.”

Caitlyn turned around wildly realizing they were indeed alone. In a quiet whisper she stated, “They are gone. They are all gone. I have no one left.”

“That is not true.” Garrett lifted her head with his index finger, his eyes searching hers. “You have me. You will always have me, okay? I’ll be here for you.”

And Garrett knew that he would. He would stay her mentor, her friend, or her lover if she wanted it, no matter in what capacity, as long as she needed it. It scared him to know he was falling for someone. Garrett had mutual fun with women, but he did not get attached. And here he was, not even involved in that sense, and he was developing feelings he should certainly not be having.

Without another word, Caitlyn walked over to where Hanna Young’s final resting place was. Garrett stood next to an oak tree as Caitlyn kneeled by the grave for hours. His student did not say a word out loud that entire time. Garrett was not sure what demons Caitlyn had put to rest, but when she finally stood to leave, she had a peacefulness that Garrett had not seen since she had been given the news that her sister died.