I gave her a chaste kiss and let go. “Get comfortable. I’ll put it on.”
Scarlett sat closer to me when I got on the bed. Before we left a small gap between us but now her arm was firmly pressed against mine. I wanted her closer and further away at the same time.
“Ready to experience a movie night?” she asked as the film started.
My arm was itching to be around her. I could smell her berry shampoo; it was as confusing as it was comforting.
“I’m ready,” I replied, lying. Whatever was going on between us was real, and I was definitely not ready for that.
IT WAS ALMOST Easter, and I found out just how much Scarlett loved the holiday. Her room was full of decorative eggs, chicks and rabbits. Light blue and yellow banners hung twisted around each other on the wall above her bed.
Her enthusiasm was both cute and addictive. Since we got together officially, my parents had kept an eye on us from afar, and hers had been… Well, less far. As much as I wanted to spend time with her completely alone and uninterrupted, I understood why her parents had a door wide-open rule.
She lay against my side as we watched Transformers. Movie days had sort of become our tradition. I grew up without TV, so Scarlett was determined to show me what I had missed out on. I still preferred to be outside but I did love spending time with her – whatever we were doing.
“I remember playing with Transformers when I was little. Me and Finn used to fight over who got the yellow one. At least I think it was those.”
She looked up from where she was resting on my shoulder. “I can’t imagine you and Finn fighting, you’re so close.”
“Believe me, we used to. What about you and Jeremy?”
“We got along better when we were little. I’m not sure if we fought before the accident. We probably did.”
I watched her for a minute, taking in the darkness of her midnight blue eyes. They were unusual, beautiful.
“What? You still think I’m weird for not remembering, don’t you?” she asked.
“No, of course not. I find it strange that you don’t want to remember but not that you can’t.”
Sitting up her posture became defensive. “I do want to, but I can’t do it. I’ve tried a few times over the years, and it just ends up with me getting so frustrated that I feel like I’m going crazy. It hurts to try, Noah. Physically, too. It gives me headaches.”
“Alright,” I said. “I’m sorry. But if it is something you want to do, I can help. Perhaps I can take the pressure off you somewhat. I don’t like you wanting something but being too afraid to go and get it.”
She pursed her lips. “If I ever decide to try again, I’ll let you know.”
Holding both hands up, I replied, “Alright. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“Can we just watch the movie now?”
I leaned back against the headboard and held my arm out for her. Reluctantly, she lay down with me and tucked herself back into my side again. Something felt wrong, and I realised that I didn’t like her being angry with me, even if it wouldn’t last long.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered again and kissed the top of her head. This needed to be fixed. I didn’t feel right, and I knew I wouldn’t until we were okay again.
“It’s okay,” she replied, holding me tighter and breathing me in. I closed my eyes, enjoying seeing and feeling how she felt about me.
That was our first real disagreement, the first time she’d shied away from me and gotten angry. I wanted to do everything in my power to make sure that never happened again, even though I knew that was impossible.
Scarlett
I WAS ON such a high. It was the last day of school before Easter. Noah and I walked along the corridor hand in hand, trailing behind Imogen, Chris and Bobby. Noah was gravity. Everything was better when he was around.
In two days, I was going to my grandparents’ for the weekend, and although I would miss Noah, I couldn’t wait. The Easter egg hunt was at the front of my mind. We’d even probably find a few from last year. No matter how old you got you still had a basket, and you still went searching.
“I’ll see you at lunch,” Noah said as we parted ways to go to our one different class.
Imogen pulled me through the door, and we took our seats. She was still a little sour about me being with Noah and him not paying her one bit of attention. I tried to not let it bother me, but it was annoying that she couldn’t be happy for me. If she had a boyfriend right now, I was sure it’d be a different story.
“Have you slept with him yet?” she asked.
I was taken aback. Imogen was a little too open with things like that but I didn’t expect her to come right out and ask, especially since we’d only been officially together four weeks, and it’d be my first time.
“No, but thank you for asking.”