“Okay, I will be right back.”
Finn planted himself in Fiona’s seat and smiled over his shoulder. I couldn’t help the less than warm reception I gave him. Tightening my jaw, I made show of looking as far away as I could.
“Come on, Scarlett, don’t be like that.”
I turned back. “Don’t be like that? Are you serious right now?”
“We didn’t do any of this to hurt you.”
Sacrificing didn’t fall under the category of hurting?
“Think about that for a second, Finn.”
“Donald and Fiona have explained. Haven’t they?”
My eyes widened. He was questioning with the obvious goal of finding out just how anti-Eternal Light I was. I had been doing so well gradually coming around, and I wouldn’t let anything ruin that, especially not Noah’s brother. He was the only person who seemed to look deeper than the show I was putting on. I’d barely said anything but I could already feel my shot at freedom slipping and it made me feel like breaking down and crying.
I just want to go home.
“They have,” I replied, swallowing my emotions. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not scared.”
“I suppose that is understandable. You’ve not been here long, by the time of the seventh ritual, you will be sure. All you need to do is keep an open mind and let the truth in.”
Wow, they all sounded the same. That could’ve been Finn, Donald, Shaun or any one of them speaking. There was no difference. You could tell they were singing from the same, la-la-crazy song sheet.
“Right,” I replied.
“Are you sure?” His eyes were too questioning, too searching.
“Finn, a couple of weeks ago I didn’t even know you all existed. I thought two other people were my parents. Forgive me for feeling a little scared and confused right now. I’m human, I need time.”
He looked down, wincing. “You’re right, I’m sorry. That is a lot to deal with. We just want the reunion to be a happy one for us all. Sometimes I overlook what a huge adjustment it is for you. Please remember that you are back with your family now. This is where you belong.”
For the next few days. Until you kill me.
“I’m trying to.”
“It’s all we can ask,” he said, getting up as Fiona walked back over with two plates of pizza.
“Have you had anything to eat yet, Finn?” Fiona asked.
He shook his head. “Noah’s gone for us both.”
I hated how casually everyone spoke about Noah in front of me. There was no consideration for the fact that I was in love with him and he’d betrayed me. But then they didn’t view it as a betrayal. He was doing his duty, the way I would have to at the sacrifice.
Human life didn’t mean anything to them.
Unless it was theirs.
Noah
TODAY MARKED THE final full day Eternal Light had planned for Scarlett. At lunch, she was expected to give element offerings and tomorrow those elements would guide her into the next stage of her eternal life.
It was only hearing it when you’d turned your back that you really heard it.
I had an ice cold shower, not wanting to be comfortable. My muscles locked; skin tightened and stung. It hurt, but I welcomed the pain, the distraction. Tomorrow weighed heavily on my mind. The responsibility choked me. I shut off the shower when I shook so violently that I felt ill. My skin had lost its colour – I was pale and looked lifeless. Wrapping the towel around myself I stood still until I’d dried enough to put clothes on.
I had to pull myself together. If I couldn’t, Scarlett wouldn’t have a chance, and she was all that mattered to me. I dressed quickly, feeling the sting as warmth seeped into my icy skin. I looked tired all the time since I got home with her. Everything that I’d done haunted me, preventing me from sleeping for too long.
Even though I was now doing the right thing, I still couldn’t forgive myself. I never would.
“Noah, are you ready?” Finn asked, knocking once on the door with what sounded like his palm.
“Almost, I’ll meet you there.”
Communal lunch, offerings, communal dinner, then an early night before tomorrow. That was what Donald had ordered for all of us today. He didn’t usually try to tell us what to do and when, we sort of all did that together, but he was completely running the show now.
“Alright, don’t take too long.”
I wanted to take all the time in the world. My nerves were running wild. Although I never had second thoughts about helping her escape, I did about how we were going to do it. Was there a better way? Could I have snuck out of the commune, got help and got back unnoticed before anyone realised I was missing?