“Now you do, you wanna fix it?”
My eyes slid over Mike’s shoulder and I looked out his window.
That nightmare had obviously happened seventeen years ago. I hated it that Joe experienced that, it felt like acid in my veins, I hated it so much.
But I knew, the way Joe was, the way he looked, the way he acted, there were likely a lot of women before me who knew all about it and tried to fix him.
Joe just couldn’t be fixed.
A one-woman man, like his Dad, Mike said. Did everything for her. Kept her safe, tried to keep her straight and was good enough to put her in a taxi instead of slam the door in her face when she’d killed his baby and essentially killed his father.
A one-woman man, he’d just picked the wrong woman, the really wrong one.
Joe was never going to be fixed, he didn’t want to be and therefore, he never would.
“Violet,” Mike called and I looked at him.
“No,” I replied, “I don’t want to fix Joe.”
That was a lie, I did, I really wanted to, I wanted to so badly I could taste it in my mouth, feel it hollowing out my belly, like that hunger I had for him.
I just knew I couldn’t.
Mike’s hand came to my face, his fingers curving around my jaw, his thumb at my cheek, using it to bring it close so his mouth could touch mine then he gently pushed me away an inch but his hand didn’t leave my face.
“Thinkin’ I killed the mood,” he muttered.
I gave him a weak smile and agreed, “Yeah.”
“Not a bad thing, sweetheart, ‘cause I’m also thinkin’ you need time.”
My weak smile died and I agreed again, “Yeah.”
“You want me around while you take that time?”
I closed my eyes and dropped my forehead to his shoulder.
Then selfishly and stupidly, I whispered, “Yeah, Mike, I do, if you wanna be around.”
I felt his body relax against mine and he murmured, “Good, ‘cause I wanna be around.”
I lifted my head, needing the mood to shift again, not back to before but to something normal, sane, that didn’t include drowned babies or Joe’s broken heart.
Therefore I asked, “You mind if we watch a movie?”
“I’ll only mind if you don’t cuddle up to me while we’re doin’ it.”
My smile was less weak when I said, “I think I can do that.”
“Then go pick what you wanna watch.”
I kept smiling at him and started to pull away then went back to him.
“Mike?” I called when his eyes caught mine.
“You’re practically in my lap, honey,” he answered on a grin.
“Thanks for puttin’ up with my shit,” I whispered.
His face got soft and his hand came back to curve around my jaw. “I’m a slow learner, sad but true, but one thing I learned, there’re women whose shit is worth puttin’ up with and women whose it isn’t. I’m guessin’ you’re the first category.”
“I don’t know, I’ve got a bad temper,” I told him honestly.
“Then I’ll try not to piss you off.”
“That would be advised.”
He grinned, kissed me lightly again, dropped his hand from my face and said, “Go pick a movie.”
“Okay,” I replied, got up, picked a movie, Mike put it in and we cuddled on the couch while we watched it.
The movie was good and, since Mike owned it, he obviously liked it.
The best part was being tucked, my back to his front on the couch, my head on his bicep, his arm tight at my waist, our legs entwined, doing a bit of nothing, watching a movie, in a family room, in a family house, with a dog stretched at the side of the couch.
That was the best part.
And I loved it. I even had to admit I loved doing it with Mike just as I admitted that I’d prefer doing it with Joe.
But Joe didn’t cuddle and watch movies or make dinner or have a dog.
And Joe never would.
*
Cal was still on his deck when night had fallen and he heard Violet’s Mustang in her drive.
As if she was doing it to piss him off, she didn’t use the garage.
He stayed on the deck taking another swig of beer, which one he had no clue, he’d lost count, as he heard her side door open and close.
He stayed where he was, staring into the dark, knowing she wasn’t going to come to him that night, the first night he was home in a long time she wasn’t in his bed.
It was awhile later, he was considering getting another beer or going for the bourbon, when he heard her side door open then her keys jingle to lock it.
He waited then looked to the side when he heard her feet hit the steps to his deck.
She walked up to him and stopped by the chair Colt had vacated hours ago.
“Don’t say it,” she warned.
He had no idea what she didn’t want him to say but he replied, “Buddy, I didn’t say a word.”