He slammed the door behind me, jogged around the hood as I wiped wet off my face ineffectually since my hands were just as wet and he folded in beside me.
“We’re goin’ to Florida, buddy, first fuckin’ chance we get,” Joe declared the minute he slammed his door. He hadn’t even put the key in the ignition and we were both dripping rainwater into the seats and carpet.
“Joe –”
He turned to me and cut me off. “Fair warnin’, there’s nothin’ there. Just the house and the beach, a coupla houses either side. Nothin’ to do but fish, cook, sleep, eat, fuck and read.”
“Can the girls come?” I asked and watched his face darken to a scowl.
“You ask shit like that again, I’ll turn you over my knee.”
I felt my stomach flutter. He’d turned me over his knee the night before, part of him being creative, and I’d liked it.
I smiled, leaned into him and whispered, “Joe, not sure that’s a deterrent.”
His eyes dropped to my mouth and he didn’t answer though his lips twitched.
“Still think the day couldn’t go any better?” I asked and his eyes came back to mine.
“Your mother-in-law make good sangria?” he asked back.
“The best,” I whispered.
“Then let’s get the fuck home,” he growled.
I laughed so hard, I had to close my eyes.
This meant I missed the first part of Joe coming in to kiss me.
But I didn’t miss the rest.
*
“Therefore,” I finished as the girls sat at their stools in front of me, “getting physical is never the way to go.”
I was giving them the hardest lecture in a parent’s arsenal. The lecture where you try to teach them not to do something you yourself had done.
These lectures, by the way, never worked.
Kate and Keira’s eyes went over my shoulder. Then they both fought smiles.
I was standing at the kitchen counter in front of them and I turned around to see Joe behind me, his hips leaned against the back counter, his arms crossed on his chest, his feet crossed at the ankles, his head bent and he was looking at his boots.
“Joe?” I called, his head came up and I saw he was biting his lip and he was doing this in a clear effort not to laugh. “Joe!” I snapped.
It was relatively late. We’d come home, changed clothes, dried off and I’d done needed repair work on my hair and makeup. We’d had sangria. We’d had steaks Joe braved the storm to cook on the grill and loaded baked potatoes. And we’d had chocolate cream pie (Joe had two slices, partly because he was being nice, mostly because it was the bomb).
The tornado warning turned to a tornado watch and then the storm became rain.
Everyone was gone. All of them, even Dad, were staying at the hotel by the highway overnight and were coming over for pancakes tomorrow morning. Everyone had avoided discussion of me jumping a blonde woman on the sidewalk for no apparent reason for all they knew. Everyone that was except Uncle Vinnie who every once in awhile when he looked at me would snicker and twice he out-and-out laughed.
Now it was just us, I needed to address the issue with my girls and I didn’t need Joe mucking up the works.
“This isn’t funny,” I hissed at Joe.
“Baby –”
“It isn’t!”
“Vi –”
“Stop laughing!” I demanded because he wasn’t laughing but he was smiling big and I knew, inside, he was laughing. “This is serious!”
“Buddy,” Joe’s voice sounded strangled, “fuck me, baby, but you took her down.” He uncrossed his arms, lifted a palm ceiling up and smacked his other hand down on it making a huge clapping noise before the heels of his hands went to the counter and he burst out laughing.
So did my girls.
“Joe –”
“In the rain,” Joe choked out.
“Joe!”
“Both of you wet,” Joe continued.
“Joe!”
“You coulda sold tickets to that shit,” Joe went on.
“Joe!” I shouted.
“Word gets around, honey, gonna have to beat the men back,” Joe finished.
I glared at him and then I swung my glare to the girls who were both giggling their asses off. Keira had her elbows to the counter, her face in her hands. Kate had collapsed onto her bent arm on the counter.
“I’m glad you all think this is so funny!” I snapped and then moved to flounce out but I was caught at the waist and pulled into Joe’s arms. My head jerked back and I demanded, “Let me go, Joe.”
“Baby –”
“Let… me… go!”
One of Joe’s hands curled around the side of my neck and his grinning face got in mine.
“Vi, honey, shit happens, you gotta laugh. You can’t laugh, you’re fucked.”
“You don’t know what she said,” I whispered, hoping the girls were still giggling so hard they couldn’t hear.
“I heard enough to know she deserved a busted lip and then some and any woman talks to Kate or Keira like that, I hope they got enough attitude to do the same fuckin’ thing.”
My body got tight and I informed him, “Girls don’t do that.”
“Maybe they should. Tina and Susie had that lesson taught to them a long time ago, maybe they wouldn’t be such bitches,” Joe replied.