At Peace

“They found him yesterday,” my Dad said softly, Cal’s eyes opened and he looked over my shoulder but I didn’t see anymore. My Dad confirming with words what I knew in my soul went straight through me, so devastating, its wake was immeasurable. It made my eyes close and my body went slack on Cal’s.

“We told Melissa we’d tell you. We drove down last night, didn’t want to do it on the phone. We got here late. Stayed at the hotel by the highway. We thought –”

“She’s good, Colt, get him outta the house, get his story,” Cal said to Colt, cutting off my Dad.

Colt dropped my ankles and I dropped my head. I couldn’t hold it up anymore and I could feel it coming. I needed my energy because it was going to rip me to shreds.

Cal let go of my hands and both his arms went around me, my forehead hit his shoulder and he pulled me close so my face was in his neck.

Then they came, they were silent but my tears shook my whole body in great, fucking quakes.

“Clean her up, call Dane,” I heard Cal order. “He’s probably with Kate. If he isn’t, he’ll know where she is. Tell him to get her, they get Keira and tell him to get them home.”

“Okay,” Feb whispered. I felt wetness on my foot and I heard glass being swept up but I had moved my hands to Cal’s shoulders, my fingers digging in, holding on, pressing in, my body to his, my face in his neck, as the tears kept shaking me, making it hard for me to breath.

I sucked breath and even to me the effort sounded painful. Cal’s arms tightened and Feb worked on my foot.

I lost time, having no idea how much slid by and not caring as I cried.

Sam was dead, my beautiful brother was gone. Tim had been doing his job but Sam had been doing what he was doing for me.

“He was doing it for me,” I whispered into Cal’s throat.

“Quiet, buddy,” Cal whispered into my hair.

“He was trying to make me safe.”

“Stop it, Vi.”

“Mel,” I breathed, thinking of her for the first time, fresh pain sliced through me. My body jerked with it and Cal’s arms gave me a squeeze.

“The girls’ll be here soon, baby, you gotta get your shit together,” Cal said gently.

My mind was running away with me. “I don’t even know this man.”

“Focus, baby.”

“Why does he want me to suffer so much?”

“Baby, focus.”

“Why can’t he leave me alone?”

“Shit,” Cal muttered and he did it in a way that my head came up to look at him and he was staring across the room at the front door.

“Mom?” I heard Kate call.

I looked where Cal was looking and saw Keira, Kate and Dane standing just inside the door.

Myrtle had my vacuum cleaner out. I didn’t even know she was there. I could see through the window that Colt was standing on the front porch, Jack to his hip, his phone to his ear, his head turned, his eyes on the girls.

Before I could move, Cal stood, me in his arms, and he carried me halfway across the study then carefully, he let my legs go but his arm at my waist held me close to his body. So close, I was suspended, my feet barely touching the floor.

The girls watched this without moving a muscle.

“Girls, come to your mother,” he ordered and both looked at him then they moved hesitantly into the room.

I tried to push away but he held me firm and when they got close they only had eyes for me.

I put my hands on both of their necks and I pulled them closer to Cal and me.

Then I bent my head to them, pulling them in further so we were in a little huddle.

“Something’s happened to Uncle Sam,” I whispered.

I clutched at their necks but they knew, they knew, just like me.

Kate tore free, taking two steps back, her face colorless, her eyes wide with pain.

Keira fell to the floor.

Cal let me go and went after Kate.

I dropped to the floor and gathered Keira to me.

“No!” I heard Kate screech. “Nonononono!”

I looked to her to see her beating Cal’s chest, his arms around her, letting her do it.

Keira just shoved in close, burrowing into me and cried in my arms.

“Oh baby, my baby, my sweet baby,” I cooed, gathering her as close as I could and rocking her.

“Hush, girl,” Cal murmured and my head came up again and I saw Kate clutching Cal, her arms wrapped around his waist, her hands bunching his t-shirt, her face buried in his chest and he had his arms locked around her too, holding her close.

I watched as it overwhelmed her and her legs buckled. Cal caught her, bending, he shifted her into his arms and carried her into my room.

I had no idea why but I got up, pulling Keira with me. She didn’t struggle but she was hard to control, her tears still coming, violent, unrestrained. I guided us into my bedroom and Cal was in my bed, his back to the headboard, Kate curled into him full-body, her face again shoved into his chest, her arm tight around him, her legs curved and tangled with his.

I moved Keira to the other side and instantly she crawled in, moving straight to Cal, to Kate, she burrowed into his other side and locked her arm around Cal and Kate, her head to Cal’s belly.

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