They belonged to each other now, forever, until death.
In the first rays of dawn, as Arlo swirled his hands on Angelika’s skin, he committed the sensation to memory. If his hands would not work, he would use his mouth to feel this otherworldly softness. He would adapt and change and live the life they had charted out together, in the quiet moments in between the breathless couplings.
He allowed himself to feel excited about Larkspur Lodge; she had described it to him so vividly that he had fallen asleep and dreamt he was walking the corridor, lined with ancestors’ and foxhunt paintings, toward their opulent bedroom overlooking the wild acres of garden.
The future glowed so bright it terrified him.
“I want to live,” he explained as she kissed his tears away. “The thought of dying now, when I have so many days and nights ahead with you . . . I cannot bear it.”
“I will keep you safe,” she replied, and because she’d proved it every other time, he chose to believe her.
Angelika was now lying across his body just like that very first morning, when he’d awoken in this rich girl’s bedroom with a mind like a blank slate. Thigh over his lap, cheek on his chest, she fit against him like a missing piece, now fully restored. Arlo closed his eyes, exhaled, and felt complete peace.
“I love you,” he told her, and although she was sleeping, she smiled.
And then, the bell above the front door downstairs rang.
Ding.
*
It interested Arlo to watch Angelika don her armor: that of a practically royal lady who held the power in every situation. She was apparently unfazed by the dawn visit and left the magistrate, the church aide, and Christopher to languish in the drawing room for going on a full hour as she readied herself for her day. Humming, she uncapped a bottle of perfume and breathed it in.
Arlo lay in bed with the sheet pulled up to his waist, feeling quite depleted, and decided to borrow a little of her self-assurance. His trousers lay in a damp heap by the bathtub, and he wasn’t keen to put them on. Like a rich man who cared for nothing but his own body, he stretched, enjoying her mattress and pillows.
“Are you nervous?” he asked, knowing what look she would give him in her mirror.
She scoffed with an arched eyebrow. “Me? Nervous? This is my house. They are lucky to even get a glimpse of me before breakfast.”
“As am I.”
She smiled, and Arlo’s heart shimmered. “You’ve seen everything there is to see of me. Good grief, I have never reached ecstasy so many times in my life. Not even on my most inspired night alone in that bed.” She pressed a pink cosmetic onto her lips.
Arlo’s body began flooding his cock with blood. It was a display of impossible tenacity.
“It will be nice to see Christopher’s face as you stagger into the drawing room with your lips all swollen,” he told her. “I like the man, but I’m fairly sure I could kill him for the way he looks at you.”
To his relief, this comment didn’t pique her interest.
“No need,” she shushed, and began an enjoyable sequence of dressing; this time choosing an impressive uniform of stays, garters, silk stockings, and drawers. “These are from a store in Paris that is busy with whores and dancers. It’s absolutely scandalous. You will come with me and choose what I buy.”
Now there was a five-minute diversion.
Pink-faced, she dressed in various layers of petticoats, a sumptuous violet dress, and a diamond necklace fit for a princess. The tiara was a bit too much at seven in the morning.
Arlo, naked, penniless, the luckiest man imaginable, knew himself even more.
“I was such a shy child,” he told her out of nowhere as he realized his tongue-tied sensation was a familiar one. “I liked church because that was the one place where I could either sit quietly with no questions asked of me, or I could sing and knew the words.”
“At least you knew the words,” Angelika replied, turning on her tufted dressing stool and crossing her legs. “Victor and I used to just warble along like birds. You were shy? I can imagine that. You have a reserve with those who don’t know you well.”
They were interrupted by Sarah’s rhythmic knock.
Angelika went to the door, opened it a crack, and had a whispered exchange with Sarah, taking a stack of clothes. Closing it again, Angelika sniffed haughtily. “They want to know how much longer to wait. All I can say is it shall be even longer now.”
She gave the clothes to Arlo—a fresh outfit for him, how scandalized poor Sarah must be!—and resettled on her fancy stool. “Back to where we were. Can you tell me about your parents?”
Arlo had an image in his mind: a hard-faced pair, unhappily married and trapped together in a house that did not suit the size of their family. “John and Frances Northcott. My brother is the eldest, also called John.”
“I never understood why families do that,” Angelika complained. “Two Johns would always come running when called. It’s impractical.”
“I also had an older sister, and two younger brothers and two younger sisters. That’s . . . seven children.”
“What else do you remember?”
Arlo began to dress, his mind lost in the past. “Our house was too small, and we lived cheek by jowl. I think that’s the true reason for my training at the seminary. There was no room for me.” A big swell of ancient hurt prevented more words, and he pulled on his pants and buttoned his shirt in silence.
Angelika said, “There is plenty of room for you here.”
He found he wanted to argue back. “That’s what bothers me about you, when you say such things, or buy me such nice things. Like these trousers, for example.”
“They look marvelous,” she said with her eyes on his crotch. “Tailored to within an inch of their life. Italian cloth from a particular wool mill in Milan. Don’t you look nice, my love.”
He sat on the edge of the well-used bed. “There really is no room for me in this house. I’m not used to being treated this way.”
“Treated like you are worth treating exceptionally well? That makes me sad.” She came to stand between his feet. “You have found your place in this world. Beside me. There is room right here.”
At his eyeline, the material of her dress glowed a rich indigo, shot through with a glimmer that only came from pure silk. Like the finest ceremonial robes, worn by priests. He plucked it between his fingers, rubbed it, and could no longer feel any sensation from the fine grain.
He closed his eyes as the memories began to flood him. There was no possible way to summarize each for her, except to say faintly, “I didn’t choose any part of my life.”
She held his face to her chest, and he wrapped his arms around her waist.
“I want to tell you of my old life, but there is not much to tell. I was eight years old when I was sent away, and homesick enough to vomit when I arrived at the seminary. I’d said to Mother, ‘Don’t leave me here,’ but she didn’t listen.”
Angelika was quiet for a long moment. “You used those very words when we visited the morgue together. You said, ‘Don’t leave me here,’ with such a raw note in your voice. Poor pet.”
Arlo couldn’t stop now.
“It was such a narrow world, reading the same texts and Scriptures, debates on theological concerns, and manual labor in the name of the Lord. It was my job to scrub out the huge pot that the dinner stew was boiled in, and the stink of it. Metal and meat.” He shuddered. “I was never sure if I was praying correctly, because it seemed a little uncomplicated—just thinking quietly—but no one could give me a definitive answer.”
He pressed his lips together to stop the torrent of memories. He must sound mad.
Angelika said the right thing. “Don’t stop. Tell me everything you want to.”
“I had a best friend named Michael at the seminary. He was so witty, he had me crying with laughter. He found the absurdity in it all, and he helped me gain my confidence and to see that the place we lived was also a game we must play. He loved pigeons, and he bred and trained them up in the loft of the barn.” Arlo was surprised now. “I think Victor’s pigeons reminded me of my long-ago friend.”
“Perhaps we could go together and find Michael.”
Arlo could only now think of a plain white cross. “He died of consumption. We were around fifteen, I think.”
“Oh,” Angelika said with heavy sympathy. “The only true friend you had died?”
“I was crippled by the grief. I cried into my pillow, and during the day I had to pretend I was all right with the apparent fact that he was in heaven, and it was his purpose. But for me, his purpose was to make my life livable.”
She ran a gentle hand over his head. “How did you live without him?”
“I went outside and pulled out an entire flower bed of weeds. It gave me a momentary release.” The clock in the hall chimed. The real world grew impatient, one floor down. “The garden saved me. Just like you saved me.”