When they broke off their kiss, Will said, “I feel sorry for him. He’ll never know you like I do. Never.”
“But he wishes to.” She captured Will’s chin in her hand, like he had done to her. She maintained her bravery when she saw the dangerous jealousy in his eyes. “I made a promise to Lizzie. For my entire life, I’ve loved men who do not love me back. You give me such dazzling compliments that you must believe me to be worthy of admiration. So, I will allow it. You and Christopher must compete. If you do not wish to, then do not.”
Will was taken aback. “I am to compete with a successful man who knows everything about himself? Whilst simultaneously trying to find my old life? It is absolutely unfair. And as each minute passes, you notice his eligibility and are slipping away from me, just as I am from you.”
“I’m not slipping away,” Angelika said, puzzled. “You have significant advantages over him, as you have just outlined. I already love you. And you have a choice in whether to participate.”
Will appeared to be shocked. “You—love me?”
“Of course.” She watched the emotion in his eyes change. “I thought I was supremely transparent. You’ve told me that I am, several times. I loved you the moment I saw you.”
“I love you, too.”
“For how long? Forever? Just nod,” she urged. “Just lie to me.”
“For as long as I can.”
“The real you may never come back. Have you had any memories?”
He did not answer that. “You have no idea what it costs my pride when I think of what I lack, and how he is superior to me.” Will swallowed, and his entire aura dimmed. His next words seemed to slice and stick all the way up his throat. “I have talked to Victor at length. We cannot guarantee that I will be able to have children. There is no precedent. And I know that is what you want, more than anything in the world. Don’t deny it,” he said when she opened her mouth. “It is obvious, and you do not need to be ashamed. You are ready for that, and I am a catastrophically large risk for you to take.”
She stroked his jaw. “You are not a risk. You’re my love.”
He blew out a breath. “I seem to be talking myself into thinking Christopher is your better choice. If you had attended that welcome ball for him, what might have happened?”
“I would likely have taken a sunlit path, that much is true. But you found me first.”
Will was amused. “You found me dead.”
“Then we each had perfect timing. I am beginning to see that each person has multiple paths, with choices and crossroads. And for you, I will take this dark forest path. You once told me something, after you had seen both the bad and the good in me. I will tell you the same now, and I want you to listen, because it’s important.”
He prepared himself. “Tell me.”
“I have faith in you.” She kissed his cheek and slipped out of his hands.
A strange, cozy scene had formed outside. A huge bonfire was blazing, licking the stars above. Chairs with cushions and lap blankets were placed around it. Clara and Lizzie were seated and talking. Victor was holding a bitten apple in his mouth and was struggling to break a large branch over his knee.
“Trust Victor to casually ignite an inferno.” Angelika shook her head at her brother. “That’s enough, I think.”
“I’d best not sit too close to the orchard,” Victor said after swallowing his mouthful. “You never know who might come forth to touch my hair, which is even more irresistible than yours, Jelly.” The party only heard his joke, but Angelika knew he was deeply rattled by the incident.
Christopher was waiting for Angelika like a groom at an altar. She walked to him and before he could speak, she asked at full volume in front of everybody, “Are you intending on courting me?”
“Yes,” Christopher replied, steady and unflustered. “But I wanted to give your brother the courtesy of that conversation first.”
“Kwertesy,” Victor repeated scornfully with his mouth full of apple again, grunting with effort as the branch broke at last and he threw it into the fire. Bite, chew; he decided it was too sour and pelted the apple into the darkness. “It is only Angelika’s opinion that matters. But fine, I’ll play old-fashioned brother. I shall ask you three questions.”
Christopher nodded. “Please do.”
“Make them count, Vic,” Lizzie urged him with a saucy grin. Clara was either delighted or disturbed.
Victor held up one finger. “Are you a good, God-fearing Christian man?”
Christopher would not fall for this trap. “No.”
Victor was surprised, and he had not prepared a follow-up question. He thought for a moment. Two fingers went up. “Are you a gambler or a thief?”
“No.”
He held up three fingers with a grin, and Angelika knew they were in for trouble. “Are you especially talented in the bedchamber? I ask that as a favor to Jelly.”
Christopher answered him without so much as a smile. “Yes.”
Victor doubled over laughing.
Angelika’s stomach did a strange thing, even as she looked for Will. He stood in the shadowed doorway of the manor with his arms crossed. Angelika thought he turned to leave, and she could understand why he would. But when she blinked, he was walking over. She thought she saw him forming a fist. He wasn’t. This firelight was playing with her vision. Energy was radiating from him like a thundercloud.
“Sit down, Jelly,” Lizzie said. “You look a bit peaky.”
Victor held out his hand like a deal was struck. “All right, Chris. You may feel free to court her. I hope you do not live to regret that decision. Now, she’s cantankerous, especially on an empty stomach.”
“You make this sound like a horse sale,” Angelika protested as they shook hands.
“I am not your average man,” Christopher said, without any boast in his tone. “I am ready for the challenge of an exceptional woman.”
“Well, I’ll say she is. She’s a temperamental little mare,” Victor continued, “but if you gain her respect, she’ll try her heart out for you.”
“Wait,” Will said, and everyone’s laughter died. “I want to say something. I do believe you have noticed my evasiveness tonight, Commander.”
Christopher nodded. “I have.”
What Will said next surprised them all. “I am not Victor’s colleague. If we sit down, I will explain everything.”
Chapter Sixteen
What are you doing?” Angelika hissed at Will as they moved to the bonfire.
“It’s the only way,” he replied. When everyone was sitting and leaning forward in their seats, Will began what sounded like a ghost story.
“It was about one month ago that Victor and Angelika were out riding at night and they found me on the roadside. I was beaten and wearing not a stitch of clothing. Everything I might have had was gone. They brought me back here, and when I woke up, I had absolutely no memory. Angelika’s was the first face I saw.” His expression softened with affection as he looked to her. “She was telling me her name was Angelika, and I was at Blackthorne Manor. I was quite rude to her.”
She laughed. “He was, it’s true.”
“How utterly frightful,” Clara said to him with alarm. “My goodness. Have you recovered?”
“I have, but I don’t have my memory. And I need to know who I am.”
“What do you know about yourself so far?” Christopher asked without so much as a blink of surprise. Adaptability was an attractive trait in a man.
As he cut a wedge of cheese, Victor replied, “He’s educated, can read and write, with good manners and a fine mind. Good teeth. No pox scars. Knows Latin. He can navigate by the stars, and I’d wager he could tell you the botanical name of every plant in this courtyard. He can ride better than I and load a pistol. I believe him to be a gentleman of excellent standing.”
Christopher plainly did not like this assessment. “Right.”
Will noticed, and continued his explanation. “The Frankensteins have been doing everything in their power to help me find out where I came from, and they have given me the very shirt on my back. But I think we need your help, Commander.”
Christopher’s expression gave nothing away. “What do you imagine I could do?”
“You have resources that would be invaluable to my search. You can discreetly speak with magistrates, the night watch, military men, the church.”
“We have tried to investigate to the best of our ability,” Angelika agreed. “But it isn’t enough.”
“That’s why you first visited my office,” Christopher said slowly, turning to her. “You asked me if there had been an accident. Surely you know we would not leave an injured officer behind, and not on a forest road. Is this why you made my acquaintance? You could have just asked me directly in that first meeting, and I would have done all I could.”
“I know that now,” Angelika said quietly. “But it was confidential, and strange, and I didn’t know you then. Please don’t feel that I have used you.”
She could see that he did.