I nodded.
‘What’s that?’
‘Always wondering if it might have gone the other way.’ I nodded at the prom shots, still laid out in front of me. ‘That is a lot of pictures. You know?’
He glanced at them, then back at me. ‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘I guess it is.’
My phone beeped then, and I glanced down at it. Jason.
Are you free for lunch? I’m en route to the Last
Chance, have an hour.
‘Gotta go,’ Adam said. Then he pointed at the scab on my knee. ‘Remember. Back on the bike!’
‘Right,’ I replied. ‘Got it.’
He flashed me a thumbs-up, then was gone, whistling – always so damn cheery, how was that? – as he headed back toward the front of the store. I looked down at Maggie’s pictures, end to end, and then at my phone, where Jason’s text was still on the screen. I knew I’d really screwed up with Eli, turning away from him the way I had, but perhaps it wasn’t too late to have a tinge of my own. Maybe good, maybe bad, but at least it would add some color, somewhere. So I picked up my phone and gave Jason his answer.
Okay. On my way.
When I got home that evening, Heidi was on the back deck, looking out at the water. Even from a distance and through the sliding glass door, I recognized the tenseness in her shoulders, the way her head leaned a little sadly to the side, and so was not surprised when she turned, hearing me, to see her eyes were red and puffy.
‘Auden,’ she said, reaching to brush back her hair, taking a breath. ‘I didn’t think you’d be home until later.’
‘I finished up early.’ I slid my keys into my bag. ‘Are you okay?’
‘I’m fine.’ She came inside, shutting the door behind her. ‘Just doing some thinking.’
We stood there for a moment, neither of us saying anything. Upstairs, I could hear Thisbe’s waves, crashing. ‘So… how did it go?’
‘Good.’ She swallowed, biting her lip. ‘We did a lot of talking.’
‘And?’
‘And,’ she said, ‘we agreed that for the time being, it’s better if we keep things as they are.’
‘With him at the Condor,’ I said, clarifying. She nodded. ‘So he didn’t want to come back.’
She walked over to me, putting her hands on my shoulders. ‘Your father… he thinks he’d be a hindrance more than a help right now. That maybe, until the Beach Bash and summer is over, it’s better if I just focus on me and Thisbe.’
‘How could that be better?’ I asked. ‘You’re his family.’
She bit her lip again, then looked down at her hands. ‘I know it doesn’t sound like it makes sense.’
‘It doesn’t.’
‘But I understand what he’s saying,’ she continued. ‘Your father and I… we had a whirlwind courtship and marriage, and I got pregnant so fast. We just need to slow down a bit.’
I put my purse down on the table. ‘So this is a slowing. Not a full stop.’
Heidi nodded. ‘Absolutely.’
To be honest, I wasn’t fully convinced. I knew my dad and how he operated: if things got complicated, he extricated himself, somehow managing to make it seem like it was the most selfless of gestures, instead of just the opposite. He wasn’t abandoning Heidi and Thisbe: he was simplifying their lives. He hadn’t left my mom over professional envy: he’d stepped aside to give her the spotlight she needed. And he certainly hadn’t basically ignored the fact that I was his child all those years: he was just teaching me to be independent and a grown-up in a world in which most people were too infantile. My dad never got back on the bike. He never even let himself crash. One wobble, or even the hint of one, and he pulled over to the side, abandoning the ride altogether.
‘So,’ Heidi said, pulling out a chair and sitting down at the table, ‘enough about me. What’s going on with you?’
I slid in opposite her, folding my hands on top of my bag. ‘Well,’ I said, ‘it looks like I have a date to the prom.’
‘Really?’ She clapped her hands. ‘That’s great!’
‘Yeah. Jason just asked me.’
She blinked. ‘Jason…’
‘My friend from home,’ I said. She still looked quizzical, so I picked up my phone, flashing it at her. ‘The texter.’
‘Oh! The one who stood you up!’
I nodded.
‘Well. That’s very…’
‘Lame?’ I said.
‘I was going to say full circle, actually, or something to that effect,’ she said slowly. ‘What, you don’t want to go?’
‘No, I do.’ I looked down at my hands again. ‘I mean, it’s a second chance. I think I’d be stupid not to take it.’