More and more lately, I’d been realizing that my life had again shifted, almost reversing itself. I now stayed home at night, studying and sleeping, and was out in the early morning and afternoon, almost like a normal person. Unlike a normal person, though, I was still spending most of my time alone. If I wasn’t at work or practicing with Maggie, I was at home, avoiding texts from Jason – which were still coming, although not with such regularity, thank God – and phone calls from my parents.
I knew they both had to be wondering what was going on, as I hadn’t talked to either of them in ages, ignoring their calls and subsequent messages. I knew this was childish, and for some reason this actually made it okay to me. Like it was another part of my unfinished quest, making up for lost time. Really, though, some part of me was worried that if I did speak to either of them – even for a moment, one word – whatever I’d barely tapped into that day leaving the Condor would spill out like a big wave, engulfing us all.
The only family member I was talking to was Hollis, but even our contact was sporadic at best, if only because he was so caught up in his new life with Laura. If my dad’s relationship was falling apart, and my mom’s, as usual, never really even starting, Hollis was still bucking convention and his own history. Weird enough that he was still madly in love, long after he usually had lost interest and moved on. Now, he’d done something else shocking.
‘Hollis West.’
Even though I had dialed his number and so knew this was my brother, I was still taken aback by his professional tone. ‘Hollis?’
‘Aud! Hey! Hold on, let me just step outside.’
There were some muffled noises, followed by the sound of a door shutting. Then he was back. ‘Sorry about that,’ he said. ‘We’re just on a break from this meeting.’
‘You and Laura?’
‘No. Me and the rest of the personal finance specialists.’
‘Who?’
He cleared his throat. ‘My coworkers. I’m at Main Mutual now, didn’t Mom tell you?’
Vaguely, I remembered my mother saying something about a bank. ‘I guess,’ I said. ‘How long have you been there?’
‘Three weeks or so,’ he said. ‘It’s gone fast, though. I’m really clicking here.’
‘So,’ I said slowly, ‘you like it?’
‘Totally!’ I heard a horn beep. ‘Turns out I’m really good at customer relations. I guess all that bullshitting around Europe did train me for something after all.’
‘You relate to customers?’
‘Apparently.’ He laughed. ‘I got hired on as a teller, but after a week they moved me to the customer service desk. So I handle all the account changes, and safety-deposit applications, stuff like that.’
I was trying to picture Hollis behind a desk at a bank, or anywhere. But all I could see was that shot of him grinning in his backpack in front of the Taj Mahal. This was the best of times?
‘So, Aud,’ he said. ‘I’ve only got a few minutes before I go back in. What’s up down there? How’s Dad and Heidi and my other sister?’
I hesitated, knowing I should tell him about my father moving out. He had a right to know. But for some reason, I didn’t want to be the one to tell him. It was like my dad trailing off another sentence, leaving me to do his dirty work. So instead I said, ‘Everything’s all right. How’s Mom?’
He sighed. ‘Oh, you know. Crabby as always. Apparently I have disappointed her beyond belief by turning my back on my independent spirit and joining the bourgeoisie.’
‘I bet.’
‘And she misses you.’
Honestly, hearing this shocked me almost as much as hearing his new job title. ‘Mom doesn’t miss anyone,’ I said. ‘She’s completely self-sustaining.’
‘Not true.’ He paused for a second. ‘Look, Aud. I know you guys have had your issues this summer, but you should really try to talk to her. She’s still having all this drama with Finn, and…’
‘Finn?’
‘The graduate student. Car sleeper? I told you about him, right?’
I thought of those black-framed glasses. ‘Yeah. I think so.’
‘You know the drill. He’s in love with her, she won’t commit, blah blah blah. Usually they scare off easy, but this one, he’s tenacious. He is not giving up. It’s kicking up all her issues.’
‘Wow,’ I said. ‘Sounds intense.’
‘Everything is, where she’s concerned,’ he replied. ‘Look, Aud, I gotta get back inside for this brainstorming session. But seriously. Give her another shot.’
‘Hollis. I don’t…’
‘At least consider it, then. For me?’
I didn’t feel like I owed Hollis all that much, to be honest. So I suppose it said something about his people skills that I still heard myself say, ‘All right. I’ll think about it.’
‘Thank you. And hey, call me later, all right? I want to hear what else is going on.’
I assured him that I would, and then he was gone, back into his meeting. And I kept my word, and did think about talking to my mom. I decided against it. But I did consider it.