FOURTEEN
1:05 P.M.: Just on a break from a panel, thought you might want to grab lunch?
3:30 P.M.: Are you free for dinner tonight? Last Chance, around 6?
10:30 P.M.: Heading back to the dorms. Talk to you tomorrow.
I put my phone down on the desk. Leah, who was paging through some receipts, glanced at the screen. ‘Well,’ she said, ‘someone’s popular tonight.’
‘It’s just this guy I know,’ I told her. ‘From home.’
‘Just a guy,’ she repeated. ‘Is there even such a thing?’
We were in the office after closing, where everyone was waiting for me to do a few last-minute things before locking up. ‘In this case,’ I told her, ‘yes.’
My phone beeped again. I sighed, turning it over.
10:45 P.M.: If you have time to chat tonight, give me a call. Got some ideas to run by you.
‘He seems awfully persistent,’ Esther observed.
‘I think he’s just trying to make up for standing me up at prom,’ I said. ‘Or something. I don’t know.’
Really, this hadn’t occurred to me until right at that moment. But now that I thought about it, it kind of made sense.
‘You got stood up on prom night?’ Maggie asked. She looked truly upset. ‘That’s horrible.’
‘It wasn’t quite that bad,’ I said. ‘He called the day before, said he’d gotten invited to this big environmental meeting up in D.C. It was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.’
‘So is your senior prom,’ Leah said. ‘It’s a good thing you’re blowing him off. He deserves it.’
‘That’s not why I’m…’ I sighed. ‘I’m just not interested in revisiting that particular part of my past. That’s all.’
My phone beeped again. This time, I didn’t even look at it. Later, though, back at home, I studied my phone, reading over Jason’s messages again. Maybe it would be my own kind of do-over to answer back, go meet him, try again for something I didn’t get before. But unlike bowling and food fights and breaking curfew, I didn’t feel like I’d missed out on Jason. Instead, what had happened – or not – with us was just a twist of fate, meant to be. Like we hadn’t even needed a first chance, much less a second one.
A week earlier, at eleven thirty P.M., I would have been out already an hour, just starting the night’s adventures. These days, though, I was usually back at home, in my room, hitting the books.
That night Eli had walked away from me, I’d come home around midnight to find the entire house quiet. Isby was asleep in her room, and Heidi was down for the count, although she’d left her bedside light on. I’d gone to my own room, planning to just grab a few things before heading out, but then I’d remembered what Jason had said about reading ahead and hitting the ground running. The next thing I knew, I was pulling my suitcase out from under my bed.
When I opened it up, the first thing I saw was the picture frame Hollis had given me, which I promptly pushed aside. Beneath it was my econ textbook. Within ten minutes, I was reading chapter one, a yellow pad half covered with notes beside me.
It was so easy. Academics, like an old friend, had just waited patiently for me, and returning to it felt safe and right. Unlike all the things I’d been doing with Eli, which were new and challenging and way out of my comfort zone, studying was my strength, the one thing I did well, no matter what else was going badly.
So instead of driving around that night, I stayed in my room, the window open beside me, reading chapter after chapter as the waves crashed below. Still, whenever I took a break to go get more coffee, or hit the bathroom, I’d find myself glancing at my watch, wondering what Eli was up to. At midnight, probably the Washroom. By one thirty, Park Mart. And then, who knew? Without me and my stupid quest to deal with, he could have been anywhere.
Where I ended up, though, surprised me most of all. At seven A.M., I jerked awake, lifting my head off my legal pad, where it had apparently dropped when I actually fell asleep at some point the night before. My neck was aching, and I had ink stains on my cheek, but none of these felt as odd as the sensation that I had actually slept at night for the second time in a row. I wasn’t really sure I wanted to know why.
Whatever the reason, this sudden change in sleeping habits – which continued over the next three nights – completely threw me off my schedule. For the first time in recent memory, I was awake and lucid in the morning. At first, I tried to just keep studying, but by day three, I decided to go to Clementine’s.
‘Oh, my God,’ I heard Maggie say as soon as I walked in. ‘This is unbelievable.’