‘You wanted to go out on top,’ I said.
‘Or at least try to.’ He reached up, pulling a hand through his hair. ‘So I’m sorry, about today. I wish I’d explained better why I said no.’
‘I understand,’ I told him. ‘It was just something you had to do.’
He looked at me, his eyes so dark. ‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘Exactly.’
A car was driving up to the light now, its headlights moving across us. They paused, their turn signal ticking, before moving past. Then Eli looked me up and down, taking in my dress and my flip-flops. ‘So,’ he said. ‘Where are you going?’
‘To the prom,’ I told him. ‘You?’
‘Same. Better late than never, right?’ he said. ‘Want a ride?’
I shook my head. He raised his eyebrows, opening his mouth to respond, but before he could I reached out, taking his hand, and pulled him closer to me. Then I stood on tiptoes, bringing my lips to his. The kiss was slow and sweet, and while it was happening, I had that image again of us so small, standing in the middle of Colby, under that stoplight, as the entire town and world turned around us. And in that moment, if only for that moment, we were right where we were supposed to be.
I smiled at him as I stepped back, then up on my pedals again. He turned slowly in a circle, watching me as I slowly rode around him, once, twice, three times, like casting a spell.
‘So you don’t want me to take you,’ he said.
‘No,’ I replied. ‘But I’ll meet you there.’
Chapter
NINETEEN
The coffee in the Defriese cafeteria was good, but not great. It was covered by my meal plan, though, and the cups were bottomless. So I’d learned to like it just fine.
I fit a travel lid onto my jumbo cup, then pushed out onto the quad, pulling my backpack over my shoulder with my free hand. Now that it was October it was getting colder, a chill to the air that made a warm drink that much more necessary. I climbed onto my bike, balancing my cup with one hand as I carefully rode back across the empty campus to my dorm, a light drizzle starting to fall just as I pulled up at the rack outside. By the time I got to my room, I could hear the rain pinging off the windows.
‘Hey,’ Maggie said, peering down at me from the top of our loft as I came in, shaking off my windbreaker. ‘I thought you’d already taken off.’
‘Not yet,’ I told her. ‘I had a couple of last things to do.’
She yawned, leaning back on her bed. ‘Oh, your phone was ringing,’ she said. ‘A couple of times, actually.’
I sat down on my bed, putting my coffee down on the milk crate I used as a bedside table. In addition to my alarm clock, it also held a stack of books and the contents of Heidi’s latest care package: two bath bombs, a lip gloss, and a brand-new pair of Pink Slingback jeans. I hadn’t had use for any of them yet, but still, I appreciated the gesture.
Also on my table was my THE BEST OF TIMES picture frame Hollis had given me, all those months ago. I’d forgotten about it until the day I was packing to leave for school, when I realized that I finally had something I could actually put in it. But I couldn’t decide if I should use a shot from the prom, or one of the several I’d taken with Maggie, Esther, and Leah in our last days in Colby. Maybe, I thought, I should use the one of me with Hollis and Laura, the day they officially announced their engagement. I had so many choices that in the end, I just chose to leave it empty until I was absolutely sure. Because maybe, the best of times were yet to come. You never knew.
There was one picture I did like to keep close at hand, but it wasn’t of me. Instead, I preferred Isby’s face to be the first one I saw when I rolled over in the morning. I’d been surprised by how hard it had been to leave her at the end of the summer. My last day, we’d sat together for over an hour, her asleep on my shoulder as we rocked in the chair in her room. Her warm skin, damp weight, that smell of milk and baby: I could still remember it so easily, as well as all the things I’d whispered in her ear about her, and me, and this world of girls and boys we were both just one small part of. Someday, she’d be able to tell me everything she knew, too. I couldn’t wait.