Alice in Zombieland

“You’re forgiven.” She hooked a lock of hair behind her ear. “Now I’ve got two questions for you. Why are you dressed like that, and how was your date?”


“New style.” I couldn’t tell her I’d woken up cold, because I had sweat beads on my forehead and she’d think I was feverish and in need of a full body exam.

Her brow furrowed as she unwound the plastic bag holding the bread. “Honey, that’s gotta be the worst fashion trend in decades. It’s practically eighty degrees in the house, and me, the woman who usually has ice swimming in her veins, can’t cool down. Nothing is worth that much suffering.”

Some things were. “As for your other question, I wasn’t on a date with Justin, remember? We’re not interested in each other that way.”

“Well, that’s probably a good thing. Any boy who fails to see how wonderful a girlfriend you’ll be is a fool to me.” She sliced the ham, laying the pieces against the bottom bun. “You’re smart, pretty, and you aren’t a douche purse.”

If I’d had food in my mouth I would have spewed it. Douche purse? She must mean douche bag. But okay, I could roll. I was getting used to her filthy, funny mouth. “Did my mom ever tell you about her romance with my dad?”

Nana smiled fondly, but the smile soon faded as her dislike for my father intruded. “At first she did. She met him at school. They were in the same grade, but they didn’t have any classes together.” As she spoke, she unwrapped the cheese. “If I’m recalling correctly, they bumped into each other in the hall. He knocked her down, and her books scattered everywhere. He was so embarrassed, mumbling apology after apology as he helped her pick everything up. Then their eyes met and that was that. She was a goner.”

I caught the barest hint of resentment wafting from her, but there was also joy and adoration. “Their eyes met, huh? Like love at first sight.” Or maybe something more. Maybe they’d had visions of their life together.

“Guess so. They never stopped seeing each other, and you know the rest.” Nana spread some kind of orange sauce over the top loaf. “Well, maybe not all of it. They eloped a few weeks after graduation.”

That explained why they had no photos of their wedding. “I want to visit my family.” The words left me in a rush, formed without thought, springing straight from instinct. “I miss them.” Nana and Pops had been to the grave site several times, but I’d always refused to go.

Nana finished grinding pepper, the soft smile returning to her face. “I think that would be wonderful.”

We ate our sandwiches in comfortable silence, and as she got Pops up and around I stuffed a tank and shorts in a purse, plus my phone, a blade and sunscreen. Then I texted Justin, asking if he was okay and telling him we needed to talk. I wanted to know why he was working with such dangerous people. I wanted him to know I’d never do anything to help keep the zombies alive. I wanted to know his side of the story. After ten minutes, I hadn’t received a reply and part of me suspected I never would.

I texted Kat, asking how she was, and got an instantaneous response: I’m so good I should be illegal! How bout you?





Good.





F said C came back 2 the party 2 get U & even took U home.





Yeah. No reason to deny that.

In record time, she asked, U guys back on?

NO! Well, yes. Maybe. No. Sigh, IDK. I wasn’t Cole’s biggest fan right now, and I had no idea about his real feelings for Mackenzie.

LOL, she responded. I’ll take that as a YES, YES, 1000 TIMES YES.

Cole and I would be hanging out a lot after school, so, it might be better if everyone thought we were a couple. Plus, that mindset would have the added bonus of keeping guys from trying to get in my supposedly slutty pants. No one would want to engage his wrath by hurting his girlfriend.

Another text came in. Screen name Meow said, BTW, F is back on my must die list.

After the way U sucked his face?? I replied. Why?





As always, he ran out on me to be w/C.





A tendril of guilt slithered through me. No, he hadn’t. I knew what he’d done, but I couldn’t tell her, couldn’t ease her hurt.

Meow added, Besides, by tonguing his tonsils I was just teasing him w/what he’ll never have!





Good 4 U! PS—Pretty sure ML started rumors about me.





U thinking what I’m thinking? Dark alley, brass knuckles & prison rules.





Just like that, I knew. Kat was the best friend I’d ever had. She supported me, believed in me, no matter what. And I wanted to be an awesome friend to her, too. I wanted to keep her forever. U rock!





I know. Gotta run, tho, so we’ll talk 2morrow, K? XXOO





“Ali,” Nana called from downstairs. “You ready?”

A quick glance in the mirror revealed my hair was dry but tangled. My cheeks were too bright with color, and my outfit ridiculous. Oh, well. I raced to the car.

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