Dana shrugged. “I’m all Peter’s, and yet he knows I like being shared at times, as long as it’s only with them, and as long as he’s a part of it.” Putting a hand on her heart, she patted it dramatically. “That’s how I know about Ben firsthand. I think it’s possible to die from having both inside me at once, because I pretty much blacked out during the orgasm.”
Rachel’s mind was whirling. “Wow. I don’t think I could…” But she was lying. The idea was already whirling in her head, frightening herself. That darkness loomed again, how deep she was willing to go, how much of herself she could lose.
“Easy.” Dana reached out again, only this time her fingers slid over Rachel’s knee, along the inside of her thigh. A few scant inches, but it was enough to have Rachel’s mind centering again, remarkably. As her legs trembled, Dana pushed on them, spreading her knees out so they touched the chair arms. The black woman slid out of her chair, taking the same bent knee position on the floor as she’d had in the chair, only this time she braced her back against one of Rachel’s calves, her toes against the arch of Rachel’s opposite foot. “It’s easier that way, keeping your legs apart, isn’t it? Sometimes, when things start to spin in the wrong direction, taking the position you might take if your Master is with you helps you to kind of balance.”
With a shock, Rachel realized that was probably why she preferred the Da Vinci position for meditation whenever she was unsettled. Even without a lover in her life, the spread legs, the arms over her head, was a position of submission.
“W-what’s Jon’s specialty?”
“You have to ask?” Dana chuckled. Reaching up, she tweaked the chain at Rachel’s hip, sending a jolt right down to her p-ssy at the friction to the * piece. “The man’s a mechanical and chemical genius. Ben thinks Jon’s contribution to history will be the Pearly Gate Detonator, a vibrator that allows a woman to die from orgasms, no matter her age or physical condition. That way she can have the best possible end when she’s terminal or too ancient to carry on anymore. Ben says it would be like a rocket launcher, shooting her straight up and over Heaven’s gate, no passport needed.”
When her hand slipped from the chain back to Rachel’s thigh, caressing the pale flesh there, Rachel closed her eyes, not wanting the contact to stop. This was crazy, amazing…perfect. And as Dana herself had said, scary as hell. “What about the head of K&A? Matt Kensington?”
“He’s the king,” Dana said simply. “As corny as that sounds, it’s his energy that sort of pervades all of it, connects them. He’s Machiavellian when it comes to erotic strategy, and though I think he has a lot of his own skills in the orgasm-to-die-for category, he’s also more exclusive than any of them. Savannah is his queen, his everything. He can touch your shoulder, and you know he’s totally in command, but you don’t mess with what’s between him and Savannah.”
“I’m not sure if hearing all this is making it better or worse.” Because it was making her want what she couldn’t have even more intensely. “You know this is giving me a hundred more questions.”
“It’s hard to explain it until you experience it.” Dana rubbed her cheek against Rachel’s leg, then pressed her lips there. Rachel stroked a hand over her close-cropped hair and Dana immediately turned to tease her pulse with lips and tongue. Her elegant fingers closed over Rachel’s wrist as she lifted her head, dropped it back against Rachel’s leg to smile up at her.
“Don’t freak out, hon, but what happened yesterday was like the first act of a master play, being written straight off the cuff by Jon, with sheer Master’s intuition. He didn’t tell Peter, ‘Hey, come in here after she’s on her knees and play with her a little bit’. They pick up cues from each other. It’s fascinating, a little terrifying, but after you get used to it, it works in all the right ways.”
Rachel noticed Dana hesitated, as if she wasn’t sure if she should say what was in her mind next. “What?” she asked. “I want you to tell me, even if you think it’s something I can’t handle.” Which was entirely stupid, but there it was. She wanted to know everything.
“What I was trying to say earlier… Before they found their wives, when they went to a club, they’d do their thing with the casual subs they hooked up with now and then. However, when it matters…it’s more like what you experienced yesterday, and that was an introductory taste. The very fact they brought you to that gate means Jon wants to take you fully through it. He wants to shut the door behind you, lock it permanently. You’re his choice for forever. I’d bet my life on it.”
Rachel drew her hand away, suddenly cold. “You think…”
“Doesn’t matter what I think.” Dana grimaced good-naturedly, giving her a light pinch, though it didn’t lighten Rachel’s mood. “Changing your mind about a future with him is Jon’s job, and believe me, these guys are good at convincing a woman of the most unlikely things. I was a club hopper until I met Peter, and I’ve enjoyed a variety of Masters, in a lukewarm sort of way. However, he was it, everything, the second I met him. Savannah and Cass will tell you the same thing. We all had that in common.”
“He couldn’t be thinking that. It’s not possible.”
“Why not?” Dana’s brow creased. “Why can’t you believe that you can have something like Jon?”
“Because I couldn’t, not for so many years. And…the wanting it destroyed so much of what I had.” Rachel rose then, awkwardly stepped over Dana and retreated to the living room, wanting that robe. After she shrugged it on and belted it, she found Dana had returned to her own chair. The woman was waiting for her, listening for the sound of her footsteps, and probably to a lot more. The scuttling sound of Rachel’s mind skittering away from this absurdness, like a rat seeking an escape from a sinking ship.
“Rachel.” Dana spoke softly. Though it brought Rachel to the kitchen doorway, she leaned in it, shying away from coming back to the table. “I’m telling you what I know about the K&A men. You wanted me to be honest, and I’m telling you I believe that history is about to repeat itself, for the fourth time. It’s why I reacted the way I did to what happened to you yesterday, because I’d love nothing better than to have you as part of our family.” Dana gave her a small smile. “You don’t have to argue with me about it. I’ll wait to see what you have to say on the other side of it.”
“You’re wrong. I can’t… For me to handle this, to do this, I have to accept it as a temporary thing.” Then she could enjoy it awhile, and wouldn’t have to face all this unresolved pain she’d had to bury. “I don’t…it’s not that way. I respect and understand what you say, but that’s not what I want. And I’m sure it’s not what Jon wants. He couldn’t possibly.”
Suddenly, Rachel wanted Dana to go. She couldn’t bear to see the confidence the other woman had, so smug and sure that things would work out. She didn’t understand, didn’t know…
“Rachel.” Dana’s tone held the firmness of the minister she was training to be. Rachel already knew Dana’s lack of sight gave her a unique ability to pick up distress, and her compassion now reflected that she could feel Rachel’s grief, welling up so deep and strong it couldn’t escape notice from a well-attuned heart. “Will you come back and sit?”