“Hey,” he said, looking directly at me. My heart was pounding, and my cheeks felt like they were on fire. “Um, thanks for saying that. But, um, what are you doing here? This is a group for people who have lost a parent.”
Sam nodded slowly. “I know,” he said. “That’s why I’m here.”
I was confused. I stared at him for a minute, uncomprehending.
“My dad,” Sam said. He cleared his throat. “I lost my dad.”
chapter 12
I couldn’t believe it.
“Oh,” I said. My cheeks grew even warmer. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” Suddenly, the conversation in the car came flooding back to me. Sam telling me he knew how I felt. Me getting defensive and mad. I felt a little sick.
Sam glanced at Sydney. “At my old school, everyone was weird to me. After they found out about my dad. I didn’t want to have to deal with it with a whole new group of people when I moved here, you know?”
I knew exactly what he meant.
“I was trying to tell you,” he said, looking straight at me. “That’s what I was trying to say to you that day in the car.”
“Oh.” I swallowed hard.
“What happened, man?” Cody asked. “If it’s cool for me to ask.”
“A stroke,” Sam said. “He had a stroke.”
Sydney seemed to have been shamed into silence. The rest of us mumbled words of apology.
“Was it recent?” I asked. “With your dad?”
“Yeah,” he said in a barely audible voice. “It was a few months ago. He just …” Sam paused, like he wasn’t quite sure what to say next. He took a deep breath. “He was fine, you know? And then all of a sudden he wasn’t. It was like something just went wrong in his face, like something short-circuited, you know, like a light that flickers all weird or something.”
“You were with him?” Cody asked.
Sam nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “I mean, I kept asking him what he was doing. I thought for a minute maybe he was joking, you know. But then I knew he wasn’t. And I called nine-one-one.”
Silence settled over us again.
“So, um, do you want to sit down?” I asked, clearing my throat.
“Yeah,” Sam said. “I do.”
Logan glanced at Sydney again and then back at me.
? ? ?
Sydney left about five minutes after Sam joined the group. To my surprise, although he remained largely unresponsive, Logan stayed.
In the next hour, with me sort of leading the group, we talked a bit about our parents who had died, a little about what it was like with a whole new family dynamic, and what it was like when everyone at school treated you like a weirdo. But mostly, we just talked, awkwardly at first but then more like friends.
I learned all sorts of things I didn’t know about people. Kelsi wanted to try out for softball this spring; Mindy had done gymnastics until her mom got sick and had even competed twice at the state level. Cody had just gotten a job at the local movie theater, tearing tickets, and he was thinking about signing up for the army next year, despite what had happened to his dad.
There were a million things I wanted to ask Sam, like when his dad had died and why his family had moved to Plymouth or how he seemed so much better adjusted. But unlike the rest of the group, he didn’t seem to be volunteering any information. And I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. So I didn’t say anything.
A few minutes later, after we had complained a little more about therapists and other adults who thought they knew exactly how we were supposed to feel, Cody looked at his watch and stood up. “I gotta go,” he said. “My shift at the movie theater starts at four-thirty.”
I checked my watch too. It was almost four. I couldn’t believe we’d been talking for that long. It felt like just minutes ago that Sam had made his surprise appearance.
“Yeah, I guess we should get home,” I said, glancing at Logan. I took a deep breath. “I am so glad all of you came today. I wasn’t really sure how this would go. But I wanted, I don’t know, a place for us to feel normal, you know?”
“A place for weirdos like us,” Cody said. I thought for a split second that he was making fun of me until he winked and smiled.
“Yeah, weirdos like us,” Mindy echoed. “I like that.”
We all laughed.
“So, should we do this again?” I ventured after a moment. “Next week maybe?” I held my breath.
Kelsi and Mindy exchanged glances. Cody shrugged. Logan didn’t reply. But Sam was nodding enthusiastically.
“Yeah,” he said. “I like that idea. Don’t you?”
“Yeah,” I said, glancing around.
“Yeah,” Kelsi said. “That’d be cool, I guess.”
“Okay,” Mindy said.
“Whatever,” Cody said. We all turned to Logan.
“I guess,” he mumbled, looking down.
I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across my face. This was really going to work.
“Can I make a suggestion, though?” Sam asked. “What if we met somewhere else?”
“Like where?” Kelsi asked.
Sam smiled. “What if we went bowling?”
“Bowling?” Logan repeated.
“Yeah,” Sam said. “Why not? My aunt Donna owns Lucky Strikes Lanes over off Main. I bet she’ll give us a big discount. Or maybe she’ll even let us bowl free.”
“That sounds cool,” Cody said.