I’m not sure if that is approval or just general acceptance, but he didn’t react the way I expected him to.
After some quick goodbyes, Matt and Kylie seek out their own table and Cal and I return to talking about logistics.
Matt and I are flying back to New York from Atlanta. He had me, once again, attend some depositions with him so I could take notes, while he meticulously picked apart witness after witness. He sprung this trip on me at the beginning of the week, telling me three of the last four days of my employment would be spent with him in the Peach State on a medical malpractice case.
We just finished a long day of depositions and made it to the airport with a little bit of time to spare before we boarded the eight PM flight into JFK.
I’m not angry to be here. In fact, it gave me another few days to observe the legal brilliance of Matthew Connover. And yes, I got to observe the hotness of him, too, which is always nice, although it made me a little nostalgic. Just looking at Matt in a custom-made, tailored suit was worth the trip.
While leaving his firm is truly the best decision for my own peace of mind, I am going to miss being able to see his gorgeous face.
And that magnificent body.
And that brilliant mind.
And fuck, that just makes me sad, but it is what it is.
Matt has been strange since I gave my notice. I expected him to be cold and aloof. Rather, he treats me with the utmost respect, and I even see flashes of his easygoing humor. Sometimes, there will be brief moments when we are talking about a case, and I will forget how badly I’m hurting. I can see he forgets it too, because sometimes I see warmth in his eyes. Sometimes, I’ve even seen lust, which affects me on a whole other level I’d rather not think about. It doesn’t help that I have dirty dreams of him almost every night, and my poor vibrator is just not measuring up.
While we were in Atlanta, he was very professional. We worked each day together, spending seven to eight hours straight in depositions. We usually had dinner together at night in the hotel restaurant, where we would continue to work… going over my notes for the day and strategizing on how to best attack the next day’s deponents. We would say goodnight in the elevator, and we both went to sleep alone.
It was truly the employer-employee relationship we should have had all along.
But I’m not gonna lie… it was extremely unsatisfying, knowing what I used to have.
Now, as wait for our flight to board, there is no work to prepare for the next day so we have to rely on general conversation to get us through. I’m nervous, because so far, Matt and I have been able to get along by keeping things on a professional level. I’m trying to think of something interesting to say when Matt takes the lead.
“I’m releasing Kylie Wynn from her contract on the Pearson appeal.”
“Really?” I ask with extreme curiosity. “I thought she was an expert or something.”
Matt sort of grunts and picks at an imaginary piece of lint on his dress pants. “I really just needed the extra pair of hands more than anything. I know as much about appellate law as she does. I was just short on time. Besides… she got a little, uh… too personal with me.”
Now I’m surprised. Surprised that Matt admits this to me, and I have to wonder why.
“I kind of saw that coming,” I tell him. “What did she do?”
He shrugs his shoulders and sighs. “Just made a pass at me in my office. I mean… a really awkward pass.”
The giggle that pops out is unintended. “What is it with you and female lawyers? First Lorraine… and now Kylie. You’re like a magnet.”
We both chuckle, and then Matt’s gaze sort of focuses in on me with a somber look. “You were actually first… then Lorraine, and then Kylie. But you were in a different league than they were.”
His words warm me—that he is at least validating that I was different. That I was more.