Affairs of State

chapter Ten

Ariella watched as Simon’s amused expression faded to a blank. “What?”

“I know it’s hard to believe, but I took a test and it was positive.”

“We didn’t have sex until…two weeks ago. Is that even long enough to know you’re pregnant?” He stared at her in astonishment and confusion.

“Apparently so.” Did he think she was pregnant by someone else and had decided to pin the blame on him in the hope of a big royal payoff? Indignation stirred in her chest. “Don’t worry, I don’t expect anything of you. I know the timing is terrible and it’s the last thing we expected, but it’s happened and I intend to raise the baby. I’m financially well off, so you don’t need to worry that I’ll ask for money.”

“That’s the last thing I’m worried about.” He blinked, staring at her. “We used a condom.”

Apparently he still didn’t believe it was possible. “It could have leaked or broken or who knows what. They’re not very effective. At this point it doesn’t really matter. I’m definitely pregnant.” She’d done another two tests. Different brands, same result.

“Wow.” He climbed to his feet and came toward her. “Congratulations.”

She laughed. “You don’t have to congratulate me. We both know it was a big accident.”

“Still, it feels like an occasion for celebration.” He reached into his pocket and pulled something out.

Oh, no. A leather box. Her heart seized as she realized what he was about to do. Could she refuse a proposal before it was even made?

He got onto one knee, confirming her worst fears. “Ariella.” His eyes were smiling, which seemed downright strange under the circumstances. “Will you marry me?”

She bit her lip, hoping to hold back sudden and pointless tears that threatened. She couldn’t seem to get words out so she simply shook her head.

He frowned. “You won’t? Why not?” His sudden indignation would be funny if she didn’t feel so sad. This must be one more sign that they weren’t meant to be. It didn’t seem to cross his mind that she might have her own opinion and it could be different from his. Probably being a prince trained you to think that everyone was on your side and wholeheartedly agreed with you.

“It would never work.” Her voice came out broken and raspy. “Your family would be horrified. They made it abundantly clear that they intend for you to marry someone else.”

“They’ll get over it.” His gaze turned steely.

“No they won’t. I’ve seen enough press coverage of your family to know they’re very set in their ways. I don’t want to be the outcast and black sheep for the rest of my life. Nor do I want the queen to take away your beloved estate or kick you out of your charity. You’ve built a life that you love and marrying me would ruin everything, so it’s not going to happen.”

The truth of her words echoed inside her. She truly didn’t want those things to happen, for Simon or for herself.

“Why are you talking about everyone else? I want to marry you. Now that you’re pregnant there’s all the more reason to do it, and soon.” He was still on one knee in front of the sofa where she sat. The whole situation seemed ridiculous. Especially as his words were undermining her conviction. Could they really just forget about his family and the reporters and the British public and her presidential father and do what they wanted?

No. They couldn’t. Life didn’t work like that.

He smacked his head suddenly. “In all this talk about a baby and my family, I think I forgot to mention the most important thing.” He took hold of her hands. “Which is that I love you. I never knew what love was until I met you. Every minute I’m not with you I’m wishing I was. When I am with you I don’t want to leave. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Ariella. I need to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you.”

Her chest tightened as he tried to put such strong feelings into mere words and those words rocked her to her core. What hurt most was that she felt the same way. Since Simon came into her life nothing else seemed very important any more. But the truth was that the world was still out there, and hoping and dreaming wasn’t enough to build a life on. “Love doesn’t last forever. It’s a brief flash of excitement and enthusiasm that brings people together. The rest of it is work. I know my parents—the ones who raised me—worked hard to keep their marriage strong in the face of all the tiresome details of life. My birth parents obviously couldn’t manage to do that.”

She frowned and stood up. She needed to put a little distance between them so she could think straight. It was hard to even speak with his big, masculine presence looming over her and his rich scent tugging at her senses. “There’s a fierce attraction between us.” She walked away from him, with her back turned. It was easier to speak when she couldn’t see his bold, chiseled features. “It takes hold of me and makes me forget about everything else when I’m with you.” Then she turned to face him. He’d risen to his feet and seemed to fill the space of her living room. “But that will fade. You were born with your whole life planned out for you. You’re already married to your family and your country. You can’t abandon them to marry someone who they disapprove of and who will never fit in. It was disastrous for your ancestor Edward VII and it would be disastrous for you.” Tears fell down her cheeks and she couldn’t stop them. “It’s better for all of us if we break it off right now.”

Simon exhaled loudly, like he’d been bottling up words and emotions inside him. “You’re right. I am married to my family and my country and I’d never give them up. I know it’s a lot to ask of you to embrace those things and love them as I do, but I am asking that.” He strode toward her and took her hands. She wanted to pull away and attempt to keep some distance and objectivity, but he held them softly, but firmly, and she wasn’t able to break free. “Marry me, Ariella.”

Her gut churned. Her nerve endings cracked with an effusive “Yes!” but her brain issued loud warning signals. “I don’t want you to marry me out of a sense of duty, because I’m pregnant.”

“I’m not asking you because you’re pregnant.” Amusement sparkled in his eyes. “I bought the ring before I knew about the pregnancy. I was planning to build up to my proposal and do some romantic beating about the bush before springing the big question on you, but your surprise announcement made that seem superfluous. I want to marry you, pregnant or not, Ariella Winthrop, and I’m not leaving until you say yes.”

“You’re planning to bully me into it?” She stiffened. Sometimes his boundless enthusiasm and confidence were appealing, and sometimes it was a little scary.

He softened his grip on her hand. “No.” He spoke softly. “There I go, running roughshod again. I apologize. I truly wish to embrace a lifetime of your moderating influence on my overly ebullient personality.”

He said it so sweetly that her heart squeezed. She did believe him. “I don’t think anyone could squash your bubble too much.” She chuckled. It touched her deeply that he’d congratulated her on carrying their baby. For the first time it occurred to her that maybe he wanted to be congratulated, too. “I’m sure you’re going to be a wonderful father, even if we aren’t married.”

“That’s true, I will be.” He hesitated. She could almost feel him bursting to insist that they would be married, but holding himself back, trying not to offend her.

“You’re a wonderful man, Simon. I’m totally overwhelmed right now with all the publicity about my father, and my mother and the TV special. It’s almost ridiculous that I met you at the same time. It would be crazy to leap into an unplanned marriage without thinking long and hard about the consequences. Perhaps at some time in the future we can discuss it again and…who knows?” She trailed off, running out of words. Part of her wanted to run screaming away from Simon and everyone else and hide from reality. The rest of her wanted to rush to him and throw herself into his strong arms and let him take care of her the way he so confidently intended to.

“I’m not leaving, if that’s what you were trying to hint at.” That familiar gleam of humor shone in his eyes. “Me and my ring will sit quietly in the corner until you come to your senses.”

“As if that was possible.” She couldn’t help smiling. “I doubt you could sit quietly anywhere for more than about three minutes.”

“Three whole minutes?” He rubbed his mouth thoughtfully. “You could be right. In the meantime, you should be eating for two so I think we need to go out for a hearty lunch.”

She laughed. “You’re impossible.”

“I’m all about making the impossible possible. They said I couldn’t raft up the Zambezi or ascend the north face of Mount Everest. They laughed when I talked about internet access in the Masai Mara. I proved them all wrong. If they say an American isn’t a suitable bride for a British prince, then I’ll spend the rest of my life proving them wrong about that as well, and have fun doing it.”

His passion made her heart swell. But he was talking as if she was just another mountain to climb. “You do make a compelling case for your own convictions, but you don’t seem to be listening to me.”

“How?” His look of confusion made her want to laugh again.

“I said I’m not ready to commit to anything right now. I’ve had the biggest shocks of my life these past few months and I barely know which end is up.”

His expression grew serious. “Point taken. I’ll stop pushing my agenda. Now, how about that lunch?”

“That, I’ll agree to.” And she let him take her hand and help her up from the sofa. His skin sparked arousal as it touched hers. She hid a silent sigh from him. Why did her life have to be so complicated?

* * *

She frowned when Simon’s driver pulled up in front of Talesin. The navy awnings created cool shade in front of one of the most exclusive restaurants in D.C. Unease trickled through her. “Are we eating here?”

“Their steaks are world famous. You need iron rich foods.”

“Why does everything you say make me laugh?” Then she glanced about. “Did you know it’s the president’s favorite restaurant?” What if they ran into him here? She hadn’t seen him since the dinner they’d shared after the taping, though he’d sent her several warm emails and they were talking about a weekend together at Camp David, the presidential retreat in Maryland.

“Is it really?” He helped her out of the car. “I’ve been meaning to eat here for ages.”

“It’s probably hard to get a table without a reservation.” She remembered one tense afternoon of scrambling to book a room for an important client’s dinner there.

He leaned in and whispered. “Not when you’re a prince.”

She chuckled. “Oh yes, I forgot about that.”

“Welcome to Talesin, Your Highness.” The imperious maître d’ nodded and gestured warmly. “A table for two?”

“Thank you.” Simon shot her an amused smile. “See what I mean?”

She arched a brow. “Don’t get cocky.”

“I’ll do my best.”

The maître d’ led them through the main dining room and out onto a shady patio with a view over the river.

“Ariella.” The now-familiar voice made her turn to find the president standing behind her.

“Oh, hello. How nice to see you.” She felt a surge of panic. “Simon, this is President Morrow, my…my father. And this is Simon Worth.” Should she have used the word prince? She hadn’t researched the correct way to address him. Luckily, being Simon, he wasn’t likely to mind.

Ted Morrow smiled at Simon. “Would you both do me the honor of joining me in my private dining room?”

“I… We…” She glanced at Simon.

“I suspect we’d be delighted.” Simon glanced at her, a question in his eyes.

“Yes. Yes, we would.” She swallowed. Simon and her father, the president? An odd nagging feeling suggested that this was a little too much of a coincidence.

They followed the president back inside the building through a doorway that led into a bright room with tall windows and elegant furnishings that were a mix of eighteenth century and modernist Italian design. The professional side of her brain wondered if it could be rented out for special occasions, while the personal side of her brain wondered what the heck they would talk about.

The restaurant’s most trusted staff waited on them hand and foot, recommending dishes and bringing bottles of wine. She learned that the president had a policy of only drinking American wine, and it made her like him more, considering the other options that must be available in the White House cellars alone. She managed to refuse the wine by saying she didn’t drink during the day, but the moment did serve as a reminder that there was a fourth person in the room—her unborn child. And Simon’s unborn child. Ted Morrow’s grandchild. Her whole life seemed like an elaborate spider web that kept expanding to encompass more of the people around her.

Simon kept the conversation going with easy banter about traveling and the parts of America that he hadn’t seen yet but wanted to. Ariella was constantly amazed by how naturally he could talk to anyone. No doubt it was the chief requirement of his role in the royal family and if she were his boss she’d give him a raise. She’d actually started to relax by the time they finished their delicious appetizers and three gleaming steaks arrived, accompanied by mounds of fresh vegetables. Even her shaky pregnancy appetite felt revived by the sight.

“This is turning out to be the most extraordinary year of my life by quite a long way,” said her father, after a pause while they all chewed their meals. “I thought last year with the run-up to the elections would be hard to beat, but it has been, and hands down. And the best thing of all has been learning that I have a beautiful daughter.”

He gazed at her with such warmth that she felt emotion swell in her chest. “It does seem like a wonderful thing now that the media frenzy is dying down and we can finally get to know each other.”

“And if the press hadn’t found you, I might never have seen Ellie again. I had no idea she’d moved to Ireland, and if it wasn’t for this whole brouhaha, she might never have come back to the States.”

“I think she’s considering moving back here for good.”

He smiled. “I know. And she told me that the two of you are becoming close.”

Ariella blanched. Ellie hadn’t told him the secret of her pregnancy, had she? No. She knew her mother would never do that. She’d kept her own secrets for so long she could be trusted. Suddenly she hated herself for the subterfuge, but she knew it was too soon to tell anyone. At least until she and Simon had a few things figured out. “We are just getting to know each other but already she’s becoming one of my favorite people on earth. I’m trying to convince her to stay in the D.C. area for now, so she we can all try to make up for lost time.”

The president paused and took a sip of his white wine. “Making up for lost time is something that’s been on my mind a lot.” He put down his glass. “I loved your mother with all my heart, Ariella. I would never have let her go. She just didn’t know that at the time. I was being a typical man and bottling up my emotions, trying to act cool.”

Ariella glanced at Simon. He wouldn’t do that. He was the last person to keep anything bottled up. It was one of the things she liked best about him. There were no guessing games with him. “Have you told her how you felt?”

“You’d better believe it.” He smiled wistfully. “It was the first thing I did when we had a few moments alone. I apologized with all my heart for the fact that she felt so alone back then, and was forced into a choice she later regretted.” He frowned and looked down at his glass, then looked up at her again. “I still love her, you know.”

Ariella’s eyes widened. She was mostly astonished that he was saying all this in front of Simon, who—as far as she knew—he’d only just met. “Have you told her that?”

“I most certainly have. I think she was astonished rather than delighted.” He smiled. “We’ve been spending a lot of time together.”

“That’s wonderful.” Her heart filled with gladness at the thought that her mother and father could rekindle their love after all these years. What a shame that they’d had twenty-eight years apart. “Is she the reason you never married?”

He nodded. “I tried to talk myself into loving other women, but when it came to the crunch none of them compared to my Ellie and I could never marry a woman I didn’t feel wholeheartedly committed to.”

“That’s my opinion entirely.” Simon chimed in. “I think that choosing your mate is the most important decision you’ll make in your entire life.”

“Quite right, son. It’s not a decision to be taken lightly.” Her father looked at Ariella with a twinkle of amusement in his eye. “Which is what I told this young man when he demanded an audience with me to request your hand in marriage.”

Ariella’s jaw dropped. So they had met before. And this meeting was preplanned. Simon had been sneaking around behind her back. Indignation snapped inside her and she turned to Simon. “What were you thinking?”

“In our country, it’s traditional to ask the father of an intended bride if he objects to the marriage. Given the sensitive circumstances of your father’s position, I felt I should listen to any objections he might have.”

The president laughed. “And you’d better believe I had them.” He reached out and took Ariella’s hand across the table. “I told him he’d better direct any important questions of that nature to the lady intended, not to me. Since I’ve been in your life for less than two weeks I don’t feel I should have any say whatsoever over who you marry or don’t marry.” He squeezed her hand. “He’s got a lot of chutzpah, I’ll say that for him.”

Simon smiled. “He told me to stop beating about the bush and go ask you. Which I did. So now I’ve asked both of you.”

“Oh.” Ariella’s heart clenched as she realized the president was waiting to hear what answer she’d given Simon.

Ted Morrow looked at Simon. “Could I have a few moments alone with my daughter?”

“Certainly, sir.” Simon rose from the table. He’d already finished his meal while they were talking. He smiled at Ariella. “I’ll be on the balcony.”

The door closed behind him, and Ariella frowned. Should she tell her father she’d said no to him? Should she confess the truth about her pregnancy? It was all too much and her tired and emotional brain couldn’t handle it.

“Well, isn’t that something. I’m a guy from a small town in Montana and I just told a member of the British royal family to leave the room.”

“And I’m a girl from a small town in Montana and I’m having lunch with the president of the United States.”

He nodded and smiled, and his blue eyes sparkled. “I guess it proves we’re all just people once you look past the pomp and circumstance.” His expression grew serious. “Do you love him?”

She twisted her water glass in her hands. “I think I might.”

“You don’t sound too sure.”

“We really…click. I guess that’s the best way to put it. I have so much fun with him and I always feel relaxed in his company, which is really weird under the circumstances.” She did not feel the need to mention the intense sexual attraction. “I like him very, very much. But the fact is, we only met a few weeks ago and they’ve been some of the craziest weeks of my life and I don’t know what to think about anything anymore.”

“Well, I’ll give you a piece of advice that might be worth exactly what it’ll cost you.” He inhaled. “Don’t wait around for the ‘right time’ when everything falls into place and feels perfect.” He fixed his eyes on hers. “In my experience, which is considerable at this point, that time never comes.”

She nodded slowly.

He leaned forward and took her hand again. His hands were big and warm and soft. “If you love this young man—and from what I see in your eyes, I think you do—don’t blow the love of a lifetime because it doesn’t fit your calendar. I went off to college naively assuming that Ellie and the whole life I had planned out with her would still be there when I got back.” He shook his head. “Instead I got back to find that she’d left town and no one knew where she was. My entire future evaporated overnight just like that. Sure, I got the college education I wanted and then started the big career I’d always hoped for, but the soul of my life, the really important part, had got on a train one dark night and skipped town without me.”

His eyes were now soft with tears. “I missed Ellie so much those first few years. Then I suppose I grew numb, or grew used to the dull ache of living without her. When I think of the memories we could have shared it infuriates me that I missed out on all that through my own stupid fault. I should have married her and taken her to college with me instead of stupidly insisting on waiting until the time was right. Yes, times would have been hard and we would have had to scrimp a bit, but we would have had each other, and that’s the important thing. If you love this young man, then don’t miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime.” He squeezed her hand softly. “I don’t want you to live to regret it like I did.”

Ariella’s chest was so tight she could hardly breathe. “I’m having his baby. I just found out this week.” She had no idea how he’d react, but she knew she couldn’t keep it to herself any longer.

His mouth made a funny movement, like he wanted to say something but was too choked up.

“I told Ellie a couple of days ago and she urged me not to hide it from Simon. I took her advice today. It almost feels like history is repeating itself, doesn’t it?”

Her father shook his head. “No, Ariella. History isn’t repeating itself because you and Simon are braver and stronger and maybe a little more bullheaded than Ellie and I were.” He laughed. “Simon’s quite a young man. I don’t think you could go far wrong with him in your life.”

She smiled. “I know. He’s pretty amazing.” Then she swallowed. “But then there’s the rest of his family. And we’d have to live in England.”

He shrugged. “England’s just across the pond. A short plane flight. Simon told me he’d already introduced you to the whole family.”

“Did he also tell you they were all trying to pack my bags and get me on the next flight back to D.C.?”

Ted frowned. “He didn’t mention that part.”

“He glosses over it like it’s no big deal. He thinks they’d all come around. I’m not so sure.”

“Well, I’m inclined to agree with Simon since he knows them better than you. And it probably doesn’t hurt that your father is commander in chief of their largest ally.” He winked.

She smiled, but then her stomach lurched as she remembered his uncle’s cruel threats. “His uncle Derek warned me Simon could lose his estate and his charity if he doesn’t follow the party line.”

Ted laughed. “I wouldn’t worry about that old coot. He has bigger problems to worry about than an American in the family. The CIA chief just informed me that he was involved in brokering an arms deal with a South American dictatorship.”

“What?”

“Yup. I don’t think he’ll be hassling you too much after that scandal explodes in the press.”

Ariella stared, speechless.

“Greed. That’s what made him do it. Apparently he doesn’t have the income of the rest of the bunch but he’s trying to live like an emperor. The insecure ones are usually the meanest. That’s what I’ve noticed.”

“You’ve made me feel a lot better.” She did feel like a weight had lifted. The queen had been stern, but not actually hostile. Derek was the only one who’d told her to get lost in no uncertain terms. And now he was going to be public enemy number one himself. She couldn’t help smiling. “I think I can handle Uncle Derek.”

“I suspect you can handle a lot more than one narrow-minded Limey, though I suppose I should stop calling them that if there’s going to be one in the family. Shall we invite him back in for dessert?”

“Yes.” She grinned. “Let’s do that.”

Ted opened the door to the balcony and called Simon back. He arrived with another woman on his arm—her mother.

Ariella gasped. “What kind of conspiracy is this?”

Ted Morrow kissed Ellie on both cheeks. “I asked Ellie to join us for coffee because I can’t stand to be away from her for more than a few minutes.”

Her mother was transformed from the pale and harried woman she’d first met in London. A soft jade-green dress hugged her girlish figure, and the light of passion shone in her green eyes. “And I feel the same way. It’s embarrassing for someone my age.” She blushed sweetly. Ted Morrow took her hand and led her to a chair right next to his. He seemed besotted with her. Ariella watched in astonishment.

“Did your father tell you how annoyed he was with me seeking his opinion before I asked for yours?” Simon slid his arm around her waist.

“Not really.” Heat rose through her as she felt his body through their clothing. “He told me not to blow what might be the love of a lifetime.”

“Excellent advice,” Simon murmured. His breath stirred the tiny hairs on her neck and sent shivers of desire running through her. “I hope you listened.”

“I did. Did someone mention dessert?” She pulled away from him and reached for the hand-written dessert menu. It felt embarrassing to be romantic in front of her parents.

Though come to think of it, they were getting rather romantic themselves. Ted held Ellie’s hands in his and they gazed into each other’s eyes as if the rest of the world didn’t exist.

“No, I don’t believe anyone did mention dessert, but we don’t want you starving, so let’s get the trolley brought in.” He smiled and looked at her belly.

Ariella’s eyes widened. Then she realized that everyone in the room knew her secret, so it wasn’t really a secret. “I am rather starving right now. Maybe there is something to the old wives’ tales.”

“Did you tell your dad whether you intend to marry me?”

“I did not.” Ariella scanned the menu. Then she looked up, trying to keep her expression neutral while her heart swelled with emotion. “Though I’m pretty close to making up my mind.”

“Torture is banned by the United Nations.” Simon’s imploring gaze made her want to laugh and touched her deeply at the same time.

She glanced at her parents, then tugged her eyes away quickly as they kissed each other softly on the lips, eyes closed in a rapture of togetherness. They’d lost twenty-eight years of happiness together, because they weren’t ready to commit all those years ago. Because the timing wasn’t right, they almost lost everything.

She drew in a long, slow breath, as conviction filled her heart, mind and lungs. “Yes, Simon Worth, I will marry you.”