“If you knew she was gonna do this, why’d you make me push her into talking about it?” Jack asked, his gaze fixed on the glass in front of him.
“Honestly? I guess maybe I was testing her. I figured if she could talk to you about it, then she was ready for whatever this is between the two of you. On some level, I thought since it was you asking, she might open up.”
Jack seemed to deflate in front of him. “Guess you were wrong, then. She’s not talking to me about it. And I don’t even know what to say to her half the time. I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. I’m just an idiot, saying the wrong thing and pissing her off.”
Callum thought of all the times over the past few years when he felt inadequate, when he thought that Jack being here would’ve made a difference.
“She’s stubborn, and tough as hell. You two have that in common.”
Jack looked dubious.
“You came back here didn’t you? And you’re still here, despite everything. She’s pushing you away because she doesn’t want you to see what she thinks are her weaknesses.” He shook his head. “Secrets. Another thing you two have in common.”
Jack opened his mouth but Callum cut him off.
“I don’t care about that, that’s something you have to work out between you, somehow. This is about her, and about you not giving up on her. She doesn’t deserve that, not after everything she’s been through. Despite what she says or does, you need to stay.”
Jack shot him a look of total disbelief. “You’ve changed your tune.”
Callum took a good long swallow of whisky and set the glass back on the table slowly, thinking. “I know that, believe me. But I’m not an idiot. I can see what’s happening here – to her, to you.” He looked over at Jack, his heart ripping open in the wake of the truth that tumbled out of his mouth. “She needs you. If she tries to tell you otherwise, she’s lying – I know it and she knows it. Tom knew it too, that’s why he never gave up on you coming home.”
He could see the effect his words were having on Jack. He swallowed his pride and continued.
“She’s pushing you away, because she knows that sooner rather than later, she’s gonna have to start letting you in and it’s scaring her to death. You hold all the power here. You can walk away, or you can pick her up and never let her go. Do you understand what I’m saying? Do you get how serious this is?”
Jack nodded dumbly.
“So don’t you dare go anywhere.”
Finally, Jack found his voice. “I made her a promise.”
Callum glared at him over the table, willing his voice not to break. “And you better plan on keeping it.”
The next morning, Ally sat in her studio, staring at the unfinished painting before her on the easel. Her head pounded and even though she knew she should eat something, her stomach churned so much she felt queasy just thinking about food.
She didn’t know how long she had been sitting there, but it felt like a while. She braced her hands on the wheels and rims of her chair and straightened her elbows, pushing herself upwards to temporarily relieve the pressure on her backside. Holding the position for several seconds, she eventually let gravity win and lowered herself back onto the chair with a sigh, her shoulders burning. Maybe a workout would take her mind off things? Who was she kidding? She had no energy to eat, never mind work out.
Sullenly, she went back to staring at the canvas.
It was supposed to be the final piece in her ‘Evolution’ series – the piece that signified her triumphant return to life and the acceptance of everything that had happened to her. But deep down, she still felt in limbo. Jack coming home had highlighted that. She had thought that she’d accepted the accident and how it had changed her life, but Jack was such a huge part of that equation and she still had so many unanswered questions. She felt far from triumphant.
The anger she had wanted to unleash on Callum earlier had faded. In its wake was a morbid acceptance. All Jack had done was ask a question – that’s all – and she was unable to answer it without lashing out. None of that was Callum’s fault. It was hers. The weakness was hers.