“Is she awake now? Can we see her?” Maggie asked.
“Yes, she’s awake, and you can see her. She’s likely to be a little uncomfortable, though. She might also be withdrawn – possibly angry, maybe even embarrassed, just so you know what to expect, potentially.”
Callum nodded, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.
“Thank you,” Tom said quietly, and he and Callum exchanged a wary glance.
“Keep the visit short,” the doctor cautioned. “She’s been through an ordeal, she needs to rest. Save the questions until later, when she’s feeling stronger. Perhaps just two visitors, for now?”
Maggie enveloped Tom in a hug. “You and Callum should go to her. Tell her I love her and I’m thinking of her and I’ll see her tomorrow, when she’s feeling better.”
Callum nodded at Tom over her shoulder. Maggie pulled away, wiping her eyes.
“We won’t be long. Wait here, okay? I’ll take you home. I don’t want you driving, not like this,” Tom said, squeezing her shoulder.
Jane slipped her arm around Callum’s waist, leaning her head on his shoulder. He pulled her into a hug, her heart pounding next to his.
“Give her that, from me,” she said, releasing him and forcing a smile.
“I will.”
Tom and Callum followed the doctor down the hallway towards Ally’s room. Callum’s heart pounded. He had no idea what to say to her. Staring at her from the doorway, the hospital bed seemed to swallow her up and he was immediately reminded of the aftermath of the accident, twelve months earlier. This time though, Ally was awake and staring out the window of the small room. She made no indication of having heard them enter.
Exchanging a worried glance with Tom, he settled himself into the chair beside her bed. Tom stood beside him, and again all of this felt so familiar, yet so much worse this time.
“Hey,” he said quietly, tears gathering in his eyes. She looked so sad. Was she sad she tried to end it, or sad she failed? “How’re you feeling?”
He reached out for her hand and enclosed it in his own. She didn’t respond.
“You scared the shit out of me,” he whispered.
He remembered what the doctor said as he studied her. She didn’t look embarrassed or angry. She looked empty. “Maggie and Jane are here. They send their love.”
She continued to stare out the window as Tom laid a hand on his shoulder. He glanced up at him but Tom’s attention was firmly fixed on Ally. “Hey honey. How are you feeling?”
The love and helplessness reflected in Tom’s voice had Callum swallowing back tears. He felt as if wherever it was she had gone, she wasn’t coming back to them anytime soon.
“She needs her rest and the doc said we shouldn’t stay long,” Tom said. “Maybe we should come back later.”
Callum shook his head. “I think I’ll stay for a while longer.”
There was no way he was leaving her alone, not after what just happened. He had screwed up once already – he wasn’t going to do it again.
“I’ll collect some of her things from the house and be back here in an hour or so. I’ll bring you something to eat.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“I didn’t ask if you were hungry.”
“Fine,” Callum sighed. “Bring her chair.”
“I will.”
He reached over Callum and rubbed Ally’s arm awkwardly. “I’ll be back soon, honey. Try to get some rest.”
Ally made no indication she had heard him.
As Tom backed slowly towards the door, Callum tried to give him a comforting smile that fell woefully short of the mark.
Turning back to Ally, he noticed her reflection in the window-pane. She wore a vacant expression that he had never seen before. It was as if her essence, her soul, had been scraped away and all that was left was a shell, brittle and fragile. He squeezed her hand gently, afraid of hurting her.
“It’s going to be alright,” he said, trying his best to convince both of them. “I’m not going anywhere.”
His words hung in the air between them for a while longer before the silence swallowed them up.
Jack took his new cell phone out and tossed the box aside. Inserting the battery, he plugged it into the charger and scrolled through the options, familiarising himself. One phone seemed much the same as another, and it wasn’t the first time he had discarded a perfectly good cell phone in order to wipe the slate clean. Pausing for a moment, he went into the contacts function and added Callum’s number from his old phone, just in case. A moment later, he added Ally’s.
He picked up his old phone again and scrolled through the contacts list, pausing on his father’s name. His heart seized as he stared at it. He would give anything to be able to tap that call button and hear his familiar voice on the other end.