“Ah yes, the everything. That’d certainly do it,” he said, and she glanced up to find him smiling at her.
She felt the tears coming again as she looked at him, staring back at her with a tender, slightly bemused, expression. She blamed the alcohol for affecting her this way, but she knew that it wasn’t solely to blame. She fought through the haze of emotions and chemicals, frantically trying to rebuild the carefully-constructed wall that held her fragile soul safe, trying desperately to keep him out. She felt the wall crumbling but she was determined not to give up the cause yet, so used to protecting everyone from the mess inside her head that it was second nature now. So why was she telling Jack things she had never told anyone else?
“You scare me,” she whispered, alcohol connecting the direct line between her brain and her mouth. She took a quick sip of water and her hand shook so much, she almost dropped the glass. “This – us – tonight… all of it. Dancing, talking – secrets – so many things. And feelings – the way you make me feel… it’s all so… it’s like you never left, only you did leave, and it’s all so different now.”
Jack’s face, so worried just moments ago, relaxed. “It’s kind of overwhelming, is that what you mean?”
“Yes!” she nodded vehemently. “That’s what I mean! Isn’t that what I said?”
He smiled, reaching for the glass of water and setting it down on the side table. “Kind of, yeah.”
She groaned, covering her face with her hands. “I’m drunk, you’ve gotten me drunk. I hope you’re happy.”
He laughed softly and rubbed her back. “Yes, you are. But it’s okay, you’re safe.”
Her hands fell into her lap and she looked over at him, intent on saying something important. But whatever it was mysteriously disappeared and she just stared at him. He smiled at her, so tenderly she forgot where she was. She wanted to surrender to him, right here, right now.
She leaned unconsciously towards him and his smile faded. His eyes lingered on her lips for a nano-second, sending a shiver of anticipation through her. She waited impatiently as he searched the depths of her soul until his lips were on hers, warm and soft and tasting vaguely of beer. She closed her eyes as his fingertips caressed her cheek, the nerve-endings coming alive with his touch.
Just as she felt herself giving in to him completely, he pulled away. She stared at him breathlessly for several moments, her mind struggling to ascertain fact from fiction.
“Am I dreaming?” she whispered, her head spinning.
Jack’s thumb caressed her jaw. “Nope. Not dreaming.”
She blinked, afraid he would disappear. His hand slipped from her cheek and he looked nervous, leaning away from her as if putting some distance between them would help.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I didn’t mean to do that… I shouldn’t have done that.”
Her heart raced. “It’s okay. I wanted you to.”
He glanced at her anxiously. “I think that maybe… ”
She smiled, her inhibitions leaving in an all-out stampede.
Whatever he was about to say vanished into the ether and he smiled back at her, amused. “I think that maybe we need some coffee. You definitely do.”
She shrugged, still tasting his lips on hers and feeling like her grip on reality was slipping a little. For a change though, it didn’t worry her. In fact, she liked it.
“Okay,” she smiled, as he got up and headed for the kitchen.
Jack waited impatiently for the coffee to brew. He glanced through the kitchen door at Ally, who was still sitting on the couch, getting comfortable.
Why did I do that, why did I kiss her? What was I thinking?
He had taken advantage of her, which only served to make him feel like more of a fraud. He had to tell her. Only now, there was so much more at stake, which made everything that much worse.
God, how he wished his father were here. He would know what to do.
The coffee finished brewing and as he poured, his phone began vibrating. He frowned, digging it out of his pocket and staring at the screen for a second before declining the call.
“New phone – first thing tomorrow,” he muttered to himself, shoving it back into his pocket.
He picked up both cups of coffee and made his way back to the living room. “Here we go. Nice and strong, just what – “
She was asleep. She had slumped back into the couch, her head resting against the over-stuffed cushion behind her, breathing heavily.
He sighed. “Great timing.”
He put the coffee cups back on the kitchen counter. Walking over to sit down on the couch beside her, he picked up her hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“Ally? Hey – time to wake up.”
She didn’t even stir. He looked down at her hand in his. It was smaller and paler, but stronger, too. He turned her hand over and ran his fingers gently over the calluses at the base of her fingers. Infinitely stronger.
Glancing towards her bedroom, he debated his next move. He couldn’t just leave her on the couch and go home. He stood up, gathering her into his arms.