He stared up at her, wide-eyed and frantic. As she reached for him, she found that suddenly their positions were reversed. She was the one inside the car and he was the one outside, trying to help her escape. What she had assumed was sharp stones cutting into her knees was in fact mangled metal, trapping her inside the car so she couldn’t move. The pain was excruciating and she screamed even as he tried to soothe her, begging her to keep still while he brutally yanked at the door that refused to budge.
Smoke curled up beside her and she looked around, wrenching her neck as she strained to see where it was coming from. Jack swore loudly, a string of curses tumbling from him in a high-pitched yowl that scared her even more. She begged for help as the smoke turned into flames that licked at her, searing her skin. She screamed, renewing the struggle, ignoring the metal that dug into her knees. Her eyes stung from the smoke, and the smell of burning flesh turned her stomach. She watched in horror as the flames turned the flesh on her legs a blistering red.
Jack bolted into consciousness. He sat still on the couch for a moment, his body tingling, his heart racing, as he struggled to wake up properly. What had woken him? He had no idea how long he had been asleep, but it didn’t feel like long. Ally screamed, then – a short, sharp, sob-like scream that set his teeth on edge. He shot out of the couch and made a dive for the doorway, almost colliding with it in his haste.
He pushed open the door, peering into her room. “Ally? Are you okay?”
She whimpered in the darkness as he approached the bed. She screamed again, short and shrill, suddenly thrashing about so much he wondered if someone was trying to hurt her. His mind raced as he felt for the bedside lamp, flicking it on only to see her alone in bed, pillows scattered around her. She was clearly dreaming, her eyes firmly shut, face contorted as the whimpering continued.
He leaned over and tried to grab her arms. “Hey, come on, wake up.”
“I’m burning!” she sobbed, pushing him away.
“No, you’re not, you’re dreaming, Ally – wake up.”
“My legs!”
He glanced down at her legs beneath the blankets. “You’re alright, nothing’s burning.”
She whimpered again, still fighting him off.
“Wake up, Ally – come on, wake up for me now.”
Her eyes flew open with a sharp intake of breath, followed by a coughing fit. He pulled her towards him, rubbing her back rhythmically. “You’re okay, you were dreaming. Just take it easy, breathe slowly, that’s it. You’re okay.”
After a few moments, she struggled free of him and reached down to push the covers off her legs. She stared at them for a moment, as if reassuring herself. There was no doubt that her body had changed since the accident, but what did that matter? Something like this was merely physical. What was important went so much deeper than that.
Shuddering, she quickly drew the blankets over her legs again. She turned to gaze up at him in confusion. “Am I dreaming?”
“You were, but you’re not now. You were having a nightmare.”
She struggled through to consciousness. “Are you real?”
He smiled in spite of himself. “I’m real.”
He saw the light slowly returning to her eyes as the tension in her body eased. She wrapped her arms around him, and he pulled her in close. They sat, safe in each other’s arms, for the longest time. It felt so familiar, so comfortable, his body relaxed into hers. All thoughts of Jimmy and his previous life were washed clean away, and he found himself wondering how he could have lived without her all this time.
“I think I can feel them sometimes,” she whispered. “My legs. Just for a few seconds, when I wake up.”
“Can you?”
“I don’t know if it’s… it feels so real.”
He tried to imagine the torture of fleeting sensation. “What were you dreaming about, just now?”
She pulled him closer, fitting herself even more tightly into his body. “The accident.”
He smoothed her hair gently with his fingertips, remembering his conversation with Callum. “You thought your legs were on fire.”
“It felt like they were burning.”
“Can you still feel them?”
“No,” she sighed. “It’s gone now.”
He held her tight.
“I’ve never had a dream like that before, where my legs were on fire.”
He gently rubbed her back.
“What do you think it means?” she whispered, vulnerability oozing out of her and soaking the air around them.
“I don’t know,” he mumbled, remembering the night of the accident and the fumes that had turned his stomach and forced him into making a choice that changed both their lives. Did she remember too, somewhere deep down in her subconscious? “It’s gonna be okay, I promise. I’m here now.”
He held her until his arms began to go numb. Her slow, rhythmic breathing indicated that she had fallen asleep again, as he gently eased them both back onto the pillows behind him and closed his eyes.
The night of the accident came back to him in Technicolour and he let it play out this time, conscious of every move he made. From leaning over to turn the radio down to dragging Ally out of the car and across the damp grass, he relived all of it. The pain in his chest had nothing to do with Ally leaning against it and everything to do with a decision he made that night that he would never forget.