The way she saw things, if she never had him then there was no way she could lose him. She couldn’t risk a broken heart because of Derringer and she knew her place in his life. She didn’t have one. If she began thinking of developing something serious with him knowing the kind of man he was, she was setting herself up for pain from which she might never be able to heal.
She would continue to love him like this—secretly. She had gotten used to doing things that way and, no matter what, she couldn’t let their sexual encounters—no matter how intense they’d been—fill her head and mind with false illusions.
She swallowed when she felt Derringer’s penis swell against her backside and tried to convince herself it wouldn’t be a good idea to make love to him one last time. But she knew the moment he pulled her closer to his hard, masculine body that she would. This would be saying goodbye to the intimacy between them. She knew it even if he didn’t.
“You’re awake?” He turned her in his arms to face him.
Desire rippled through her the moment she looked into his face. Propped with his head on her pillow, his eyes had the same desire-glazed look they’d had that first night they’d made love. It was a sexy, drowsy look, complete with a darkened shadow on his chin. No man had a right to look this good in the morning. He looked so untamed, wild and raw. His rumpled look was calling out to her, arousing her and making her want him all over again.
“Sort of,” she said, yawning, and couldn’t help the anticipation she heard in her voice. And when he gave her a dimpled cowboy smile, sensations shot through her entire body, but especially in the area between her thighs.
“Then let me wake you up the Derringer Westmoreland way.” He then captured her mouth at the same time he tossed his leg over hers, adjusting their positions to ease inside her body.
“Oh,” she whispered, and when he locked his leg on her and began slowly moving in and out of her and capturing her lips with his, she figured there was nothing wrong with one for the road…even though she knew she would end up in heaven.
Derringer’s smile faded as he buttoned up his shirt and stared at Lucia. “What do you mean we can’t ever make love again?”
He saw the flash of regret that came into her eyes before she stopped brushing her teeth long enough to rinse out her mouth. “Just what I said, Derringer. Last night was special and I want to remember it that way.”
He was confused. “And you don’t think you can if we make love again?”
“No. I know about the women you usually sleep with and, personally, I don’t want to be one of them.”
He frowned, crossing his arms over his chest, not sure he liked what she’d said. “Then why did you sleep with me last night?”
“I had my reasons.”
His frown deepened. He couldn’t help but wonder if those reasons were the same ones he had initially suspected her of having. And it didn’t help matters to know that every time he had made love to her they had been unprotected. The first time had been a slip-up, and then after that, he’d deliberately chosen not to think about it. Why he’d done such a thing, he didn’t know. He usually made it a point to always use protection. Even now, Lucia might be pregnant with his child.
“And just what are those reasons, Lucia?”
“I’d rather not say.”
Anger ignited inside him. That response wasn’t good enough.
“Oh!” she cried out in surprise when he reached out, snatched her off her feet and tossed her over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes and strode out of the bathroom.
“Derringer! What in the world is wrong with you? Put me down.”
He did. Tossing her on the bed and glaring down at her. “I want to hear these reasons.”
She glared back. “You don’t need to know them. All you need to know is that I won’t be sharing a bed with you again.”
“Why? Because you think you’re pregnant now and that’s what this is about?”
Shock leaped into her face. “Pregnant? What are you talking about?”
“Are you on the pill or something?”