Jason inclined his head with the barest hint of a nod. “Okay, I’ll give your question a shot, so go ahead and repeat it to make sure I heard you right.”
Derringer rolled his eyes and then leaned closer to the table. His expression was serious. “What can you tell about a woman from the panties she wears, both style and color?”
Jason rubbed his chin a moment. “I would have to say nothing in particular unless they are white, granny-style ones.”
“They aren’t.” He hadn’t told Jason why he was asking, and Jason, the easygoing Westmoreland, wouldn’t ask… There was no doubt in Derringer’s mind that everyone else would.
“Then I really don’t know,” Jason said, taking a sip of his coffee. “I think some pieces of clothing are supposed to convey messages about people. I picked white because it usually means innocence. But then again, Fannie Nelson had on a pair of low-riding jeans one day that showed her white panties, and she is a long way from being innocent.”
“Aren’t you curious as to why I want to know?”
“Yes, I’m curious, but not enough to ask. I figure you have your reasons and I don’t want to come close to thinking what they might be.”
Derringer nodded, understanding why Jason felt that way. His cousin knew his history with women. And what Jason said was true. He had his reasons, all right.
“So what do you plan to do today now that you’ve returned to the world of the living? I heard the E.R. doc tell you to take it easy for at least a week or so to recuperate, so you’re still under restrictions,” Jason reminded him.
“Yes, but I’m not restricted from driving. I’m going to hang around here and take it easy for a few more days before venturing out anywhere.”
“I’m glad you’re following the doc’s advice. Although things could have been worse, that was still a nasty fall you took. And as far as your question regarding women’s undergarments, I suggest you talk to Zane when he gets back from Boulder.” Jason chuckled and then added, “And be prepared to take notes.”
Two days later Derringer left home for the first time since his accident and drove to Zane’s Hideout. He was glad to see his brother’s truck parked in the yard, which meant he was back. Jason was right. He should have been prepared to take notes. Zane, who was only fourteen months older but a heck of a lot wiser where women were concerned, had no qualms about telling him what he wanted to know.
According to Zane, the color and style of a woman’s panties said a lot about her. Sexually liberated women wore thongs or barely-there panties, all colors except white, and they rarely wore pastel colors. Most of them preferred black.
Zane further went on to say that women who liked to tease men wore black lace. Women who preferred lace to any other design were women who liked to look and feel pretty. And bikini panties weren’t as popular these days as thongs and hipsters, so a woman still wearing bikini panties weren’t as sexually liberated as others.
Derringer smiled when Zane, with a serious look on his face, advised him to steer clear of women who wore granny panties. Zane furthermore claimed that women who wore red panties gave the best blow jobs. Those with yellow panties the majority of the time weren’t afraid to try anything and were pretty good with a pair of handcuffs. Blue panties–wearing women were loyal to a fault—although they had a tendency to get possessive sometimes, and those who preferred wearing green were only after your money, so the use of double condoms was in order.
It had taken his brother almost an hour to make it to pink panties and, according to the Laws of Zane, women who wear pink panties were the ones you needed to stay away from because they had the word marriage written all over them, blasting like neon lights. They were a cross between innocent and a woman with an inner hunger for getting laid. But in the end she would still want a wedding ring on her finger.