I squirmed under the sheet, and he grabbed hold of the satiny material and tugged it free of my hands. Slowly he pulled it down, inch by excruciating inch, exposing my breasts, then my belly, the erotic tickle mixed with my full-body afterglow making me shiver.
Oh sweet lord. I was in so much trouble.
His voice turned gravelly as he climbed onto all fours, both his knees at my left side, and arms caging at either side of my head. From above, he drenched me in the penetrating intensity of those strange grey eyes. The second’s lightness that had seeped into the mood vanished. “You don’t need to hide yourself, Shea. Not from me.”
Slowly, he shifted to lie down at my side, pulling me to face him. He palmed the curve of my hip. “You are so beautiful. Do you have any idea? The first time I saw you? Thought you had to be the most gorgeous girl I’d ever seen. Now that I’ve seen all of you, I’m sure of it.”
Another flush, and I bit at my lip. “You…you literally stopped me in my tracks.” A small, self-conscious laugh tripped from me, and I tickled my fingertips across his strong chest and dared to peek up at him. “I’ve never been affected by anyone the way I am you.”
I tried to clear all the wispy emotion from my throat. It did no good, because it was still there in my voice. “I don’t do this,” I admitted.
Brows bunched up, Sebastian was touching my face again, trailing fingertips in the hollows under my wide, bewildered eyes, down my nose, a soft caress across my lips. The effect was always the same—a trembling mess of want balling in the pit of my stomach, my heart shooting into a fumbled sprint.
“You think I don’t get that?” he asked. His hand brushed at my cheek, and he leaned in, his mouth just below my ear. “I see you, too.”
Hope fluttered in the center of my chest—simple, simple dreams.
My thumb sketched along the ridges of the puckered, lifted scar that slanted sideways across his chest.
Caution filled his expression when he looked down at me, eyes narrowed. “Crash.”
Shakily I nodded, fingers trailing down to the deep scar over the ribs at his side. “Knife.” His voice became hard, like maybe he was sending me a challenge.
Cold dread splintered through my insides.
Sebastian lay there silently, staring at me like he was wondering when I was going to come to my senses and run.
Any sane girl would have done it a long time ago.
But here I was, submitting myself to him and his scars and the mystery hidden in his eyes. Asking for an exclusive invitation into it. Praying they were in his past. Hoping getting to know them would make a difference—that in the long run, it would mean something.
Even if it didn’t, it didn’t matter.
I wanted to know him in this moment. Every part he’d allow me into.
God, here I’d been warning myself all these weeks that I didn’t need this kind of heartbreak.
Now I was begging for it.
I got brave and let my fingers wander down to the monkey pinned between him and my mattress, somehow knowing the simplicity of it was anything but simple.
Sebastian winced, and those full, full lips tipped down on the crooked side, a subtle frown that struck me deep. “Julian.”
Another one word answer.
One that wasn’t an answer at all. I traced the exposed edges, my silence asking for more.
He trembled at my touch. “My brother. His name was Julian.”
Was.
Oh. God.
I could feel the sympathy twist my face just as tight as it twisted my heart. I knew I was in way too deep when this news physically hurt. Focusing on my face, he reached out and pressed his thumb to the lines that had gathered between my eyes, ironing them out, like he needed a distraction for his attention while his thoughts went far away.
“He was eight. Had this monkey he dragged around with him everywhere he went. Didn’t matter how many times our mom tried to get rid of it because it was ratty and filthy, or toss it in the garbage because he was getting too old for it, he always managed to dig it back out.” The words broke, his pain sinking into my bones. “Fuck…he was a great kid.”
“What happened to him?” I asked through a quiet rasp.
Deeper.
Deeper.