“Auntie April!” Kallie squeaked, flapping her arms out to her sides. “Look, Imma butterfly.”
I covered my mouth, trying not to laugh out loud at the cuteness that continued to come out of my daughter’s mouth. April shot me a knowing grin, fighting her own amusement as she pulled Kallie up for a hug. “Yes. There’s my Butterfly,” April said, giving her a squeeze and nuzzling her nose into Kallie’s cheek. “I missed you today.”
Butterfly had been Kallie’s first word. Charlie had immediately begun calling her that, and it’d stuck. Of course there was no way she was going to shuck the nickname considering that’s what she normally demanded people call her.
April set Kallie back on her feet, and dropped her backpack to the floor near the door. She smiled at me. “Smells delicious in here.”
April was short and muscular. Strong. And the girl could run faster than anyone on our high school track team. She’d played softball throughout school, and now was studying to be a physical trainer, hoping to get picked up by one of the local teams.
“We get cookies!” Kallie peeped, running circles around us as she continued to dip and soar, her imagination far and fast ahead of her. She suddenly stopped and shoved five fingers toward April’s face. “I’m gonna be five…I’m gonna be five!”
Kallie was all knobby knees, chubby belly, and even chubbier cheeks. Even though she only stood to April’s knees, she still stole all of her attention. “Oh, you’re getting ahead of yourself there, Butterfly. You have to wait a little while until next spring to be five.”
“But that’s so, so close,” Kallie said.
The buzzer dinged, sending Kallie into a flurry of commotion, arms flapping as she hopped around chanting, “Cookies…cookies…cookies.”
“I’ll grab the ice cream,” April offered, digging into the freezer and pulling out the vanilla, while I removed the cookies from the oven. April set out bowls, scooped in ice cream while I placed the hot, oozing chocolate chip cookies on top. And we ate together, grinning, joking around the entire time, while I tried to convince myself that what happened this morning with Sebastian hadn’t cut me deep. All the way down in a secret place I didn’t even know existed.
I pulled the covers up to Kallie’s chin. She wiggled and snuggled into the comfort of her bed. I lightly brushed my nose over hers, and she reached out from the covers and grabbed my head, whispering her eyelashes against mine. “Blutterfly kisses.”
“They’re my favorite kind,” I told her, my heart pressing full.
“Me too!”
I played with one of her ringlets, tugging it straight and letting it bounce back, praying that when I looked at her tonight my smile wasn’t sad. Because never had one day passed when I’d regretted my daughter. Nothing would change that. But there was some kind of unknown sadness that had wound itself into my heart.
I set a kiss on her forehead. “Goodnight, my butterfly.”
Warm brown eyes smiled up at me. “G’night, my mommy.”
Slowly, I stood and crossed her room, paused at the door, and flipped her light switch. It cast shadows around her room. A slice of light from the hallway slanted in to light up her precious cherub face. Her little grin faded, and she scrunched up her nose. “Is dark,” she whispered, like it was a secret she could only share with me.
My voice softened and I craned my head, never speaking truer words. “I won’t let anything bad happen to you, Kallie. Not ever. There’s nothing to be afraid of.” I cast her an encouraging smile. “I’ll leave the door open some and Mommy will be right across the hall if you need me, okay?”
Clutching the top of her covers, she nodded emphatically. Trusting me.