Ash poked his tongue into his cheek, a knowing smirk growing as he glanced between Baz and me. Baz’s expression got all dark and dangerous. Discomfort rolled through me, and I took a step back. “Give me a second to get these filled and I’ll be back.”
As I walked a way, I peeked back at Baz. Feeling his weight. That heavy blanket of severity that rolled from him. Stare unyielding. Posture straining in rigid awareness. Like he was trailing me across the room even though he hadn’t moved an inch.
God, what was wrong with me? Because the only thing I wanted in that moment was to bury myself in it.
By the time I returned to their table with their drinks, the band had taken the stage. A riot of applause erupted, and the energy Tamar had been talking about burst through the crush who’d vied for a better position up front. A guitar rang out. Rick took his spot in front of his mic, a light giggle slipping from Emily as she glanced at Rick, and then he called out into the crowd, “Good evening.”
The entire bar went wild.
“Popular?” Baz asked, shouting to be heard above the noise, waving toward the stage as I set their drinks in front of them.
I leaned toward him so he could hear, and every pore on my skin came alive with his proximity. “Yeah, around here at least.”
Like he wasn’t all that impressed, he gave an offhanded shrug. “Cool.”
“Let me know if you need anything else. I’ll be around.”
I slipped back into work, filling orders, Emily’s sweet voice tickling my ears while the time quickly passed. When she began to sing my favorite song of theirs, I paused at the edge of the dance floor and just took it in, lightly swaying as I got lost in the hypnotic feel of the music. My mouth moved with the words but my tongue remained silent, unwilling to allow my voice to be heard.
The twinge of sadness in my soul reverberated with the lyrics. It was a sad kind of song, and my chest swelled with longing. I squeezed my eyes shut and let myself live there for just a little while.
I stopped back by Baz’s table, and Ash and Lyrik ordered another round of drinks, the two of them getting rowdy and unruly. Baz and Zee looked on them with a soft affection that seemed almost out of character for their harsh outward appearance, and again I didn’t know how to make sense of Baz. There were so many facets to his personality.
Did I even know him at all?
He cast me a slow smile when I walked by, one that wrapped me up in comfort.
When Carolina George finished up, Derrick took over, playing some dance music to keep in step with the carefree atmosphere. Ash and Lyrik took to the dance floor, their moves a little on the goofy side, as if they didn’t have a care in the world—completely uninhibited, cutting loose. As I was passing him by, Ash grabbed me and spun me around. I squealed in surprise, enjoying myself far too much when I danced around with him for a few beats, before he released me and turned to take the hand of another girl who’d slid up to grab his attention.
Laughing and trying to catch my breath, I peeked over at Baz who was relaxed back in the high-backed stool, taking me in like it was the most natural thing in the world. Like he was supposed to be looking at me because he couldn’t see anything else. Just like my eyes were continually drawn to his gaze.
A shiver of pleasure rolled through me.
It felt amazing to have someone looking at me that way, because it’d been a long, long time since anyone had. And even when they did, it’d never been real.
Now?
I craved it.
Craved it, but only if it was him.
I tore my attention away and focused on the rest of my tables. When I made my way back from the kitchen with an order of appetizers for some women sitting in one of my booths, Baz’s table had been vacated. Glasses drained. Stools empty. A short stack of large bills sat like a consolation prize in place of the face I wanted to see.
Disappointment slammed me like a full body blow.
Damn it, Shea. You can’t afford to do this.
Couldn’t allow myself this type of foolishness.