Fury lit, and I surged forward, pushing back. The asshole fell back onto the ground. “I said no fucking comment.”
I flung the driver’s door open and jumped inside. My heart was hammering so hard it felt like it was going to crack my ribs wide open. I pushed out a breath and gripped the steering wheel.
Anger spiraling.
Despair seeping.
Through the rearview mirror, my eyes darted to Shea and Kallie.
Kallie was clinging to her mother’s neck, eyes round and scared, breaths choppy and panted. “Mommy,” she cried quietly, her fear and confusion heavy in the air.
Tears streaked down Shea’s face, and she refused to meet my eye. “It’s okay, Butterfly. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”
When Shea finally coaxed Kallie into her booster seat, I put the Suburban into gear.
Part of me wanted to run all these assholes down, the lot of them scattering as I gunned it in reverse, then flung it into drive.
Silence engulfed the cab as I wound around the city, taking a long, twisted route back to Shea’s house just in case any of those fuckers made the fatal mistake of trying to follow.
This was the last thing I’d wanted. For my life to affect theirs.
Not after today.
Not after what Kallie had been through.
Not after what Shea had been through.
At just after seven, I pulled up in front of Shea’s house and parked at the curb. I went straight for the back passenger side door, pulled Kallie into my arms, and tucked Shea’s shivering body into my side.
All our movements were slowed with the trauma of the day.
April had made soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. Kallie inhaled everything, Shea barely touched hers, and I couldn’t stomach mine at all.
Shea quietly led Kallie upstairs to give her a bath. Water ran somewhere above, and I paced her kitchen, wishing for a different life. Wondering again if it was worth the cost.
April did the dishes and shot me glares that fluctuated between disgust, confusion, and gratefulness.
“You’re back,” was all she said.
“Yeah,” I returned, wishing I could claim it without wondering if it was for the best. Shea had been so eager to accept me for who I was, for what I did, but I didn’t think she had the first idea what that was truly going to be like.
An hour passed of giving Shea the space I knew she needed before I couldn’t stand it any longer. Slowly I climbed the stairs. I found both of them in Shea’s big bed in their pajamas, Shea on her side and wrapped around Kallie, hair wet. No doubt she’d gotten into the bath with her because she couldn’t bear the idea of being separated from her.
I stood there watching them in the shadows, Shea’s breaths heavy and shallow and pained, Kallie’s slowed as she escaped into blissful sleep.
Edging around Shea’s bed, I cautiously crawled in bed behind her and tucked her into the well of my chest.
I wondered if she’d come to her senses, realized I wasn’t worth this kind of burden, and push me away.
She only pulled my arm tighter around her.
My palm went over Kallie’s heart, feeling it beat, the steady rise and fall of her chest as she slept.
My entire body stuttered out a sigh of relief, like the adrenaline that had twisted me tight finally seeped free.
It was as if the same tremor I released rolled straight through Shea.
Voice full of tears, Shea’s murmur filled the dark. “I had her, Sebastian. I had her.”
I buried my nose in her hair. “I know, baby. I know. The wave was too strong.”
She shook her head, like she was discounting what I’d said. “I can’t believe I let her go. She should have had on a vest, but I thought…I…” She clung tighter, her mouth whispered against the skin of my forearm. “What would have happened had you not been there? You saved her.”
Pain twisted me in two, and my insides quaked, and the words were leaving me before I could stop them. “The sea took Julian.”
“No,” she whispered so tightly, squeezing me closer, as if she were trying to take the sick reality from me.