Shea pressed a tender kiss to Kallie’s temple, tone light with affection when she spoke. “I snuck in here to give my butterfly kisses when I got home from work, and she thought it was time to wake up.” I couldn’t see it, but somehow I could feel the blush creeping up Shea’s cheeks. “When I told her I saw you tonight, she wanted to call and say goodnight…then she promised she’d go back to sleep. Right, Butterfly?”
“Yep!” Kallie grinned even wider. “You got back from work, Baz?” She said work like wook—pure innocence laced with country—and something significant knotted my gut.
“Yeah, Little Bug, I’m back from work.”
And fuck…saying it? Saying it felt like a promise, a promise that wherever I went I’d be coming back.
“I like when you’re back from work.” She hugged her butterfly, Kallie sweetness and goodness spread across her face. So like her mother.
“I do, too, Kallie.”
“All right,” Shea said, still holding the phone so I could take in them both. “Let me tuck this little thing back in. I’ll call you back in a minute if that’s okay?”
Hope infiltrated her tone.
As if I’d ever again turn her away.
“Yeah…definitely…call me back.”
“G’night, Baz.” A giggle and a grin.
“Night, Little Bug.”
Shea swallowed hard, and I could feel it, the rumble of her storm even in the distance. “Goodbye, Baz,” she whispered, then the call cut off.
I exhaled heavily toward the ceiling, feeling her weight, knowing all those hopes I’d sent up about Shea not hurting like me had been made in vain. I’d felt the scale of it the second I’d seen that gorgeous, tortured face amid the raving crowd earlier tonight. Felt it with every touch and word she’d given me. Sensed it with every hope and reservation shining so brilliantly in her eyes. But I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t take some comfort in it, knowing she needed me just as badly as I needed her.
It took less than five minutes for my phone to vibrate with another FaceTime call. This time when I answered, Shea had her phone in her hand while she was crawling up in that bed that I’d been having fantasies about. The screen jumped around as she moved, jostling across to capture bits of her body, a straight up tease of what was going down in her room. She’d pulled on a fresh white tee, thin fabric gliding down to cover up those slender hips, stopping short to reveal the modest pink panties that were covering up what I was dying to get lost in, miles of long, long legs exposed.
I groaned, and she flopped onto her back, quick to bring the phone up closer so all I could see was that gorgeous face that was blushing right through a sexy grin.
“You trying to kill me, baby?” I asked.
She sucked in her bottom lip, that river of blonde flowing down her pillow.
Want.
Want.
Want.
“I’m about to lose the last shred of my sanity with not being able to touch you.”
She grinned some more, but there was something sorrowful behind it. “Wish you were here.”
“Tell me what you’re thinking, baby. You look sad.”
It was weird being this candid with Shea. Because I felt like I knew this girl better than anyone, felt like she knew me better than anyone, too. But I’d never just come right out and said what was on my mind, asked her what was on hers, with straight-up honesty backing it up.
She shook her head. “No, not sad. I’m happy, Baz. So happy I can’t put it into words. I can’t believe you’re here. That you’re back.” Pausing, she wet her lips. “But there’s a part of me that’s afraid. Afraid you’re going to start questioning us again. That whatever you were scared to expose Kallie and me to in the first place…that it won’t just magically go away…and we’ll be back to you pushing me away. I don’t know if I can handle you leaving me like that again.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
Relief seemed to settle around her with the reassurance, and that energy lifted, vibrating around her, stretching out to reach me. Shouldn’t have been possible with the distance, but it was there, crashing over me, wave after wave meant to incite and lure and alleviate.
Just like she was touching me from across the space.