“I . . . I! I EXPLAINED THAT! It was because we’re Connected!”
“And yet, if I understand this correctly, you have a Connection to Jonah, too. One you were more than willing to ignore for the sake of being with his brother. Were you ever pining for this Jonah when you were with his brother?”
Hell yes, I did. My fingers curl into fists, jagged nails digging into my palms. “You don’t understand.”
“I disagree. I think I understand better than you think.”
One of the tires explodes. Will jerks the wheel and limps us over to the side of the road. I don’t bother telling him that it was because of me. Or that I can make him a new one. Because, Jonah was never an obligation. I was never with him because I had to. I love him. He’s the best person I know. I’ve always loved him.
He’s not an obligation.
What I feel for him isn’t an obligation.
It isn’t.
Is it?
The more I think about it, the angrier I get. The more frustrated. And feel all the more helpless.
“Well, isn’t this just the perfect time for a tire to crap out on us,” Will mutters, getting out of the truck.
Wait—is he planning on changing the tire? Does he not remember what I am? Or that we have a monster chasing us? I wrench open the door and throw myself out of the cab. I round the front of the truck, my fists still tight balls, ready to argue and fix the truck all at the same time. “You don’t know the first thing about how I feel about Jonah.”
Will pulls a red beanie out of his pocket and tugs it over his now wavy, wet hair as he gets out the tools needed to change the tire from the back of the truck. “I know what you feel for him isn’t real.”
Excuse me? I’m seething now. “Yes. It is.”
He pulls out a wrench and bends down next to the tire. “Magic made you believe you love him. It’s not real.”
That’s it. The wheel he’s working on disappears; a fuchsia one appears in its place with flowers, hearts, and rainbows swirling through the tread. When the wrench in Will’s hands freezes, I stomp closer. “Really? Is that tire real? Because I just made that with my so-called Magic.”
He slowly stands up to face me. “Tires are not the same as feelings, Chloe.”
“Why? Because you can’t touch them?” I shove a mittened finger against his chest. “Because you can’t see them?”
“Because feelings ought to be organic,” he stresses, knocking my hand away. “People should fall in love because they want to. Not because something makes them.”
Caleb, my Conscience, used to force me to count to ten before I said something I may regret. I try this now and find myself needing to count to fifteen instead. “The joke’s on you then. Most of the so-called organic stuff you’re referring to has been either altered or created by Magicals. It’s what we do.”
“Emotions are different. They’re personal. Nobody has a right to mess with somebody else like that.”
My teeth grind together. “How do you know that my feelings for him aren’t”—I flash air quotes—“organic?”
He crosses his arms. It’s brutally cold outside, but we’re both too stubborn to actually get back into the truck at the moment. If the Elder comes along now, we’ll be easy pickings. “Because you just told me that you have some shite voodoo called a Connection that ties you to him.”
“Yes,” I stress, “but I also told you that I grew up with him. I know him. I fell in love with him. Me. With him. Not because Fate said I had to, but because I. Fell. In love. With him.” We’re toe-to-toe now. “He’s the best person I know. The best.” I poke Will in the chest again. “If I didn’t have a Connection with him, I’d still love him.”
He scoffs. “Then why are you here instead of there?”
I shove him until he stumbles back, not enough to fall, but just enough to skid on the salted roads. “I told you.”
“Yeah, but that’s a load of rubbish. If you really loved him, you would’ve stayed and tried to work it out.”
A tree falls down nearby, sending an explosion of snow to cover us. Will jumps, but I know it’s not due to the Elder. This is all me. And I’ve got to get myself under control. I count to twenty this time. “Did you not hear anything I’ve said?”
“I heard you. I also heard what sounded like you two grew apart, and you were more attracted to his brother than him. And it was only when the shite hit the fan and got real that you ran back to what you thought was safe.”
Another tree bites the dust. “That is not what happened.”
Will stares at the shrinking grove of trees near us.