At the top of the list is money. Everything takes money. I know if I go to any bank and withdraw money from my accounts, all of which Jonah is able to access, I’ll be found quickly. So that’s not an option.
Kellan told me in Hawaii that each of their houses has a box for emergencies, one that holds essentials such as money and paperwork. I can fabricate the paperwork, easy. What I cannot make, no matter how hard I try, is currency. It’s one of those odd quirks to being a Creator. I can make pretty much anything I want just by thinking about it except for three things: food, water, and currency. Fate doesn’t want me to make these things. Nature and hard work have to take care of the first two; civilizations have to create and maintain the last.
So, even though it’s risky, I decide to commandeer some of Jonah and Kellan’s money in one of their less frequently used houses. I hate doing this because it’s theft and I’ve already stolen enough from the Whitecombs. But I tell myself it’s a means to an end. If I take the money and run, they’ll have the opportunity to rebuild their relationship. A little money gone will be nothing if it means they are close once more.
They deserve better than me. I’ve only brought about bad things to them. Both have nearly died while fighting the Elders in an effort to protect me. They are estranged and now fighting on a daily basis when they actually deem one another fit enough to speak to.
To show how much I love them, I must take myself out of the equation. To give them a chance to be happy in life, they must be without me. To also give myself a chance at a life without guilt coloring every action I make.
I wrack my mind thinking about which one of their homes is most ignored. Probably the one in Italy. There is no surfing nearby, and Jonah admitted, himself, that they rarely go there. I just have to make sure I don’t let myself remember how wonderful it was there with him. How Rome was my safety. How I never wanted to leave that city, or him, when we were together there.
Or how much I absolutely, unequivocally love him.
And that’s the hardest thing of all. Because even now, even when I’m sure this is the right thing to do, my heart is collapsing on itself. My lungs are tight and uncomfortable. Every joint aches; my head pounds. The soul shattering feeling of being separated from my Connection—Connections—is already settling in.
I guess it’s a state of mind after all. Because I know now that I need to leave; my body is attuning itself to its new reality and I’m not even out of Annar yet.
I make sure no one is watching when I leave the Transit Station. I build a shield around myself that makes it difficult to pick me out in a crowd. Kopano has taught me well. I’ve got to be careful, because the Guard is very good at what they do. Trackers are even better. And Jonah and Kellan will be the best. If I’m to keep these people off my trail, I need to stay off the radar. Spontaneity will be my greatest ally.
I figure I don’t have much time. Jonah will discover shortly that I’m gone. It’s not difficult to guess that the first person he’ll go to is Kellan. They’ll tear apart Annar looking for me. And when they come up empty handed, they’ll go to the Guard and the Council and start searching. It’s imperative I make it impossible for them.
It bears consideration that Jonah and Kellan will search their homes. They’re no dummies. They’ll remember Hawaii, and they’ll think I’ve done it again. When they come searching, I need to make sure I’m long gone.
It isn’t hard to find the hidden box in the apartment, not with the clues Kellan gave me back in Hawaii. I discover a sliding panel in Jonah’s closet behind several dusty cardboard boxes. I’m both elated and troubled by the amount of money available, both in euros and dollars. It’ll more than do for my purposes; travel will be easy thanks to this windfall.
I craft a passport for a new girl. Birth certificate. Driver’s license. Credit card, even though it doesn’t connect to any bank.
Chloe, Caleb begs, suddenly present, this is madness. Stop and think about—
Ah. That’s right. I’m constantly monitored by another Magical, which will not do.
You know I can’t reveal your presence to anyone!
It doesn’t matter. If this is going to be successful, I have to cut all ties with Annar.
Oh, for gods’ sakes! I live in California and haven’t been to Annar in—
Again, it doesn’t matter. Besides, didn’t you tell me I needed to start making decisions for myself?
Chloe. You’re not possibly thinking—
I am, old friend. This is my choice. The link between our minds ends now.
The moment I think that, there’s an unnatural silence in my head. That little voice of Caleb’s, which I’ve heard my entire life, is no longer there. The doorway isn’t even there. Even though we haven’t spoken much lately, he’d always been there for me.
It’s so lonely that, along with the growing anxiety and pain due to being apart from my Connections, I feel like dying. Or, at least, I feel like I’m no longer myself.